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Overcome my fear, please help
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Author:  fitandalertbrain [ Tue Apr 16, 2013 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Overcome my fear, please help
Hi

I'm new when it comes to attracting girls, etc. The total number of girls I have approached in my life so far is a single digit number.

I get extremely nervous to a girl who I think looks cute. Talking to a girl who is not cute is very simple and easy for me. How can I talk the same way to a girl who I think is cute? Its like I'm never myself around an attractive woman. I get very shy and self-conscious and it happens unconsciously.

How do I overcome my fears? Please help.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Overcome my fear, please help
Quote:
Hi

I'm new when it comes to attracting girls, etc. The total number of girls I have approached in my life so far is a single digit number.

I get extremely nervous to a girl who I think looks cute. Talking to a girl who is not cute is very simple and easy for me. How can I talk the same way to a girl who I think is cute? Its like I'm never myself around an attractive woman. I get very shy and self-conscious and it happens unconsciously.

How do I overcome my fears? Please help.

Don't give women value based upon their physical beauty. Seek more than 2 breasts and a vagina in a woman. Not all hot girls are dumb. Some are drug addicts too.
Author:  50ShadesOfDance [ Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Overcome my fear, please help
Quote:
Hi

I'm new when it comes to attracting girls, etc. The total number of girls I have approached in my life so far is a single digit number.

I get extremely nervous to a girl who I think looks cute. Talking to a girl who is not cute is very simple and easy for me. How can I talk the same way to a girl who I think is cute? Its like I'm never myself around an attractive woman. I get very shy and self-conscious and it happens unconsciously.

How do I overcome my fears? Please help.
Fear is based on your thought-framework, which in turn is based on beliefs, which are in turn burned into your brain as a result of years of life experiences. There is no quick fix for fear (in most cases, meaning probably yours).

What is the fix? It involves creating new beliefs based on NEW AND POSITIVE experiences. This will take time, but eventually you will lose nearly all your fear of women. This has happened to me... years ago I was so frightened of women that my body would physically go into a state of spasm when I approached a woman, to the point that my muscles for talking would refuse to work properly. Now, I can talk to any woman any time I please (not without "approach anxiety", that never goes away, but it is very much manageable, and once I am "in set" I feel great and act relaxed.

So, what are some things you can do? First of all, find a great program to follow. I always recommend David DeAngelo's Double Your Dating program (he sells various programs customized for specific areas of focus), but David D.'s programs are rather expensive. What you basically need is a plan for gradually exposing yourself to interactions with women, ramping up the difficulty bit by bit. Here's a possibility:
  • Start by just going up and talking to pretty girls that work in stores in a mall, and ask them some question about the merchandise they're selling. Then leave. Do this until you can do it without fear.
  • When you are comfortable talking to these women, start working on smiling when you first walk up to a pretty store clerk, and see if you can get her to smile back at you before you start talking to her. Work on your smile in the mirror until it becomes natural and attractive.
  • Go to your local university campus (or your own campus, if you're a student) and just start walking up to random girls and asking them directions to a particular building (on the other side of campus). Then, before you leave, say "Hey, I have a quick question..." Wait till she says "Yes?" then say "I'm thinking of taking class XYZ... have you heard anything about it?" Choose XYZ from one of the ultra-common first year classes, like Freshman Literature or Western Civilization or something. See if you can get her to give you her opinion of it, or else relate what some one of her friends has told her. Say "Thanks, that's really helpful, have a great day", then SMILE and walk away. Repeat until you become comfortable.
  • Invent new challenges for yourself, of progressively increasing difficulty, until you are doing challenging things like talking to girls in nightclubs and making them laugh at funny things you say, etc.
Eventually you will want to watch all of the PUA videos available on youtube... search "mystery method", "venusian arts", "gambler pua", "style the game", "double your dating". Watch these, take notes, then apply what you've learned.

Keep coming back here for advice and post reports of your progress. Lots of guys here love to help!

Cheers, ~50
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