Hello, MPUAForum!
I'm going to keep the first part of my introduction brief, but I also want to take the opportunity to describe my (seemingly) extremely unique situation and see what kind of responses I get. I will try to be as concise as possible, but it is a bit long at the end.
Quote: where you're located
I will say west of the Rockies for now.
Quote: your age
39.
Quote: how you got into "the game"
Was searching for ways to improve my current relationship. I think reading the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover started me down the path.
Quote: how long you've been studying and practicing pickup
Totally new.
Quote: which pickup method(s) you like to use
Currently have my eye on MM and stuff by David DeAngelo, which I will indulge after The Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay, but I currently haven't studied any method at all.
Quote: what your hobbies/passions are
Writing computer programs and not much else these days. Used to be very heavily into music, but it's become a passing interest. I am also fairly educated in mathematics and physics. Hobbies once included playing the guitar and snowboarding, both of which I'm considering picking back up.
Quote: what your goals are
- Number one priority right now is fitness. Starting to work out every day.
- Nofap and developing a healthy alpha/beta mentality.
- Learning PUA methods with zero expectations in order to improve both approach and casual social skills.
Quote: and whatever back story you wish to share with us.
Should you choose to respond, please read all of this beforehand.
I am a married man that wants to be a player and do so ethically. Here are my stats.
- No kids + vasectomy
- Financially stable
- Loving, happy, very solid 10-year relationship
I have never felt the desire to get married or reproduce. I was intending to live the life of a player for as long as I could. But when I turned 25, I met her and I decided that if there was a woman on the planet that I would marry, it was her. She was quite a catch and I truly consider myself to be very fortunate to have her. She's an HB8 with a nice face and some exceptional curves but when she does herself up nice she can easily be an HB9.
Before we met, I was already considering a vasectomy, and it only took a gentle nudge from her to convince me. And before we got married, I made it clear that I was quite promiscuous and didn't want to settle down. She said that she was comfortable with this, and all throughout our relationship, we've been talking about it off and on. It would seem that we have the perfect relationship for this sort of thing.
The only problem is that she is considerably antisocial. She really just does not like people very much at all. I can count the number of times that we've been to clubs/bars together on one hand (which is unfortunate for me because I loved to go out before we met). She's not a shrew by any means, just very reclusive. She's very loving, passionate, sweet, and kind to me, but it doesn't take her long to decide whether or not she likes someone. She doesn't treat people harshly, either, but she can easily get annoyed by them.
About 6 years ago, I thought it would be a good idea to start playing an online video game together in the interest of encouraging her to be more social. We've met some ... interesting ... people to say the least. But she's really enjoyed herself and opened up quite a bit (but still maintains a strong undertone of her antisocial nature). But she herself says she likes it because she can log out at any time. Nevertheless, we've made a lot of progress in this area, and she's open to going out more when we relocate next Summer.
With my lady's full knowledge and consent, I had an online relationship with someone I had met in the game from January-July of this year. We never actually met in person although we were planning to later in the year. I knew it was a really risky venture from the beginning, but I thought it was worth taking because she was an HB7 physically and very sexually charged. It was my first experience with fulfilling this fantasy, apart from having a threesome with my lady's best friend shortly after we were married.
Because it ended badly, we're sticking to monogamy for the time being until I can build up some serious game. After it ended, it became completely obvious that while I do have natural game apparently, it badly needs some refining. She didn't hide the fact that she was extremely attracted to me. But I got one-itis really bad. And I put her on a pedestal. And I got wrapped up in vapid jibber-jabber with her over IM, which I'm sure became routine for her and caused her to run straight into the arms of another man in the game. I was furious when I found out that she threw herself at him, was caught completely off-guard, totally embarrassed myself, and made absolutely sure that she'll never come back by chewing her out very angrily. Lesson learned: I must not get attached to other women before sex happens, even if it's platonic, and no matter how attracted they are to me.
At this point, having multiple partners sounds like too much fantasy and not enough reality to me. And I think a big part of the drive to have such relationships comes from the fact that I've been a compulsive masturbator since age 14. Up until a few weeks ago, I've been doing it on average about 6 times a day, sometimes to the point where I would not ejaculate at all during orgasm. I have since discovered the Nofap Challenge and I've committed myself to it 100%.
I'm looking to focus all of my game on my lady for the time being. My lady is still open to letting me have NSA sex with others or FWBs, and maybe, just maybe, if we met the right woman, letting a relationship develop out of it again. She's also expressed a preference in playing with other couples, but I have mixed opinions about that. I know it's very self-centered of me, but it's very possible that I may just drop the whole idea entirely because of that. Nevertheless, I'm not going to be hunting any time soon.
What am I looking to find in PUA?
- I'd like to improve our sex life by seeing what techniques I can use to seduce my lady and bring out more sexual attraction from her. Again, I want to be ethical, so I'm not going to use it to seduce other partners (yet, if at all).
- I'd like to meet others that use PUA for multiple partners, if such techniques even exist.
- I'd also like to meet those that have experience overcoming biological hurdles when the desire to reproduce is non-existent in the seducer.
- I'd also like to find ways of encouraging the desire for a better social life in her.
Any comments or suggestions would be welcome and appreciated!
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(This is surprising because the few times that we've been clubbing together, she hasn't enjoyed herself much.)