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Calgary AB Canada here. Tried XY,DDA,Adam Gilad etc
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=142116		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  kiltedscotsman [ Wed Aug 01, 2012 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Calgary AB Canada here. Tried XY,DDA,Adam Gilad etc
Hello Gents,

typing this from sunny (at the moment) Calgary, Alberta. Here's the run down:

I'm 40 but don't look it,
Born in Scotland so have an accent here so I guess that's an advantage! :p
seperated and going through divorce battle for last 5yrs,
no kids,
not dirt poor but not loaded either,
own car(s).
Don't want just one night stands or short terms. Long term/life is my goal.

Had a few relationships since seperating from a shrew/blimp of a wife in 2007, but nothing lasting over 18 months. I guess I went nuts and slept with a good dozen girls in a few years, maybe making up for lost time.

Brother got me into the various 'systems' after he had some success meeting women with it. Specifically, he got me into reading and watching David De Angelo at first, then Scot McKay's XY system, Adam Gilad's 'deep attraction online' system, Dave Mizrachi's IID online dating system, the 'Authentic Man Program'.

They have all had valuable stuff in them that have all helped greatly in the online dating world, up to a point.

Because, it seems, that being a chivalrous Gentleman and a bit old fashioned just doesn't cut it anymore. (the flowers and chocolates theory)

The problem is, that my brother thinks that folks like Gambler and similar PUA systems to him are 'black hat' and that he ascribes to Scott McKay's take that PUA systems in general bring short term results and are gimmicky and manipulate women with 'tricks' etc.

At the moment, my problem isn't with confidence in talking with women, hell, at 40 (and apparently women tell me I look about 32) by this time not giving a shit helps, but systems like Scot McKay's are all very well in making you a better higher integrity confident man, but if girls seem to be difficult to get to actually meet up, even after getting phone numbers or online email exchanges, what's the use of them?

Also, having modest funds may be a limiting factor. I would love to go to the bars around me (lots around me) every weekend to build social value with the owners/barmen etc, but I simply haven't got that kind of dough, when beer can be 9-10 bucks a pint.

So, now, even IF my brother thinks that PUA is 'black hat' and of no use, I am willing to learn from it, as I think understanding why women do the things they do, and to break through it (i've heard it called a 'Bitch Sheild'?) by 'short circuiting' it by refusing to play by their rules is something that PUA actually does.

Would I be right in that, or?

It's kinda funny that I am gravitating back to the PUA theories, because as my mum used to say "treat them mean, keep them keen" and now I think I know what is meant by that. IE, nice guys come last.

Certainly, the PUA methods seem to have WAY more acronyms than the 'gentler' (?) methods. Not sure if there is a FAQ/sticky explaining all the acronyms?

Are these 2 'camps' of dating 'theory' oppositional? Do each of them have something to learn from the other?

In any case, finding myself suddenly at 40 (always seems quick right?!), and from a different culture than the North American one, and perhaps being my age, I kinda 'fall between two stools' of generations, and am increasingly dismayed by younger women's lack of integrity, honesty, and the evolution of folks no longer returning peoples phone calls, emails, text, (as I can remember when it was the height of rudeness not to) and it's left me bewildered and wondering why younger people are so electronically connected, but yet so disconnected than ever before, and treat each other so disposably?

Thoughts?

Anyway, hello from Canada and rock on! :)
Author:  awfulgoodness [ Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:09 am ]
Post subject: 
40 also and have my pick of the litter. currently dating a HB8 but also talking to a pile of 7's 8's & 9's. My skills are picking up and faster than ever. I find that "not giving a fuck" really really helps with that approach anxiety. Im from Calgary, (Connaught representing!) and found that we have the best of both worlds there. A majority of the girls that I picked up there were mostly 8's & 9's. Closed a bunch with snogging only but more often than not I piled into a car with some brand new friends I'd just made and we ended up at the house party...after hours club, what have you. I can't tell you how much I dont give a fuck that Im 40. I know a guy out here that is mid 50's, paunchy, red nose, dresses like a fucking retard, that pulls hb after hb. Just last night I wandered in and he was making out with a 20 year old hb7. He told great stories and built all kinds of value. Everyone wanted to be at his table. Great energy. He ended up going to this crazy Ukrainians flat. Crazy as fuck, but she is madhot. Mad.
I am new to this site as Im looking to get into the elusive HB10's bracket. more consistently. It aint money (but it has its place), it aint what you own or what you wear, but that older dude takes care of his shit, nails clean, hairs neat, clean shave, good colour matching. Those girls are into how you make them feel, and the high value demonstrated by the opinion of abundance and clearly not giving a fuck about the outcome. Dude there is so much abundance there it isnt even funny. Mix that with Stampeded and you have a recipe for some outdoor Roman orgy. Keep approaching, check out Dr Paul Dobransky as well, RSD free tour vids, and the like. Next approach. Next. Next. Keep posting. Go Flames Go!
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Aug 04, 2012 12:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
hey man,

bitch shield is sort of just like a skeptical attitude it's not really some magical thing that all women will show you, if you are the right guy, at the right time, with the right approach, you will not see any bitch shield at all, just a good reaction

it usually comes as the result of two things,

1) the girl is nervous being approached by a stranger, so when her heart starts to race she goes into a flight or fight response, when the girl is naturally pre-disposed to the fight response, she becomes skeptical of your authenticity and will try to put you on the spot for putting her on the spot, this is how she deals with the nerves

2) no nerves at all, just has been getting approached alot in the current environment and is getting annoyed with humouring any approach, so guys she does not want to be approached by, she will be shorter and shorter with and make herself seem less appealing to approach, (sort of seems like the girl has an ego, or is being stuck up), basically this is mostly a nightclub thing, girls know you are approaching them to attempt to pick them up, so they will backturn you, or make it more difficult to weed out the pussies, the less attractive they find you initially, the more difficult they will make it for you, also it can just be an act put on to impress their friends

there isn't much magic behind handling bitch sheild either, it's just realizing when a girl is being irrationally rude, standing up for yourself without being rude back (but rather calling her out on her rude behavior, or getting her reacting to you so you can lead and calm her down), basically, you are just hanging in there and dis-qualifying problems until it is made apparent that there is no problem and the girl is acting irrational since you are being cool and she isn't, sometimes this can lead to conversations where a girl opens up to you and actually was attracted but just blowing you off for the sake of blowing you off and that is just how she deals with stress, other times the poor reaction to begin with was actually just dis-interest, and there was no secret motive behind it at all

as for pickup systems, most of them have something of value to take away from them, every guy developes a different style and forms different habits to get girls, but one thing is universal, the confidence, knowning you can get it done, and believing in yourself as well as knowing what you want and choosing a way that attempts to get it

donno, how it goes getting into bars/clubs at your age, but if you just walk up and down 17th at night, most bars you can get into no cover (although the ship, and melrose usually have lines, sometimes maos has a line, and the mansion has cover), and most of the spots along 17th are just around 4.50-6$ a pint, also steven ave has alot of good spots, but 17th is probably the easiest strech since it is quicker to get taxis off 17th (just hail them), location is also good since you can find bachelor pads around 17th starting at around 800/mo, also from what I am told original jacks is where the older ladies go on the prowl for younger guys (or at least my buddy said he almost got raped by some 40something and they were running in a pack)

as for the day, not sure how your age will effect sarging spots for you as I like to go for young girls and my spots reflect it, top spots are Chinook (just full of hotties always, but try not to do more then 5 approachs in a row, and if you take a long time to bang out your sets then leave before 5, this prevents security from harassing you), the U of C is also a great spot, the whole place is crawling, and the den has some fun events like the no pants dance and a bunch of other stuff, the food court is usually a pretty good spot to go, and if it is warm out pretty much all the campus common areas are hot spots for hotties just hanging around, Mt.Royal is also a pretty good spot, same idea as the U of C except smaller, still tons of hotties, only problem with this is you are 40 and Mt. Royal is a little easier to infiltrate when you are in your 20s and just pass as a student easily, also campus security for Mt.Royal is pretty close to the food court, on hot days, 17ave/steven ave are both pretty good to walk down, macloud can sometimes have some hotties rolling around, most of downtown is pretty hit or miss depending on the day and how nice out it is, often the nicer the day, the more hotties come out, also memorial along the bow is a really good spot, right when it is downtown on the jogging path, alot of hotties go jogging there

also, don't buy into the whole idea of nice guys finish last, it isn't true, needy and passive guys finish last, being nice has nothing to do with it, if you sit back and let everyone walk all over you and you do nothing with your life, have no ambition and no drive or self respect and you never go for what you want, you will finish last, and if you are extremely desperate and willing to do anything to please people just for some attention, or think that being overly ''nice'' out of desperation just to hold on to a shred of any connection you have with anyone, this will naturally turn people off, how ever, being friendly, polite, and fun to be around, are more then likely bonuses around most people, the word charming comes to mind, it isn't being nice or mean that really matters, its the mindframe around it, you can just as easily be failing with women due to being a domineering, reactive and rude person, as you could be being an overly friendly doormat with no personal boundries

as for phone numbers don't take it personally, the girls here are really nice, as long as you give a girl no reason to reject you and you manage to stop her and have a conversation, you will most likely get a phone number, or she will let you down in the easiest way she possibly can, just don't take it personally, do your best to really connect with them as people, and keep approaching, eventually there will be girls with some real interest, genuine interest, the more honest you can be about your interest, the more TRULY HONEST, you can be and genuine, the more girls will return the favour and be more straight forward and honest with you about their interest, just dis-qualify their excuses until you get to the bare bones, and seriously, be happy that the girl considered you enough to give you her number, it's for the better that girls don't make it too easy, it's just the natural way girls deal with being approached, nice guy says something nice to her, she gives her phone number to not be rude and avoid an awkward rejection that could end in a pissed off guy, if she is interested she will follow up, but if not at least she let the guy feel like he wasn't rejected and she can walk away feeling like she did a good thing, and it doesn't matter to her cause there will be new guys she has more interest in, rolling in from time to time anyways as long as she is attractive, just keep improving yourself and eventually you will see less flakes, and more follow ups

GOOD LUCK
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