A chance reconnection with a University friend I hadn't spoken to in a year--who turned out to be a PUA--a couple months ago blew the hull out from under everything I thought I knew about people. After discussing this newfound activity for half-an-hour with him, having never heard of it before, I was enthralled. I woke up early the next morning to read a borrowed copy of The Game before work, and found it fascinating and moving; no author--Fitzgerald, Salinger, Lee, which were my favorites in high school--has ever resonated with me like Neil Strauss. I was so happy to hear him say "I was reminded of how much I love human contact...we [human beings] need touch. But we're so sexually screwed up and obsessed that we get nervous and uncomfortable whenever another person touches us." I actually cried a little, sitting there on a park bench on a sunny morning.
So, I'm Maxwell. I'm 21 and I study physics at a University. I've always loved girls; I know that sounds like a bland statement for a male to make, but it's true. I love female attention. Unfortunately, I'm not very good with women, either; not hopelessly atrocious (I've had sex with 2--one of which was a 2-year relationship that I still say was the one of the best things that ever happened to me, even now that it's over--and fooled around pretty hard with 3 more), but pretty bad. I talk very fast, likely faster than anyone you've ever met, and for reasons I'm still discerning most people find me hostile when they first meet me, and for these reasons I make a poor first impression. I do have plenty of male friends, who I feel more comfortable around than I have any female I've ever met, save my ex-girlfriend.
I'm in pickup because I'm tired of it. Yes, by that I mean I'm tired of sleeping alone most nights, but it's not just that. I'm tired of seeing happy couples come into my place of business and wishing that could be me again. I'm tired of a buddy introducing me a female friend and having that sinking feeling that says "she'll never even get to know you, because in five minutes you'll have been so awkward she'll be looking for an excuse to stop talking to you."
So no more. I'm struggling to just overcome AA right now, but it'll come with time. (some style coaching from a buddy helped a ton. It's amazing how much dressing like the man makes you FEEL like the man). I'm going to keep going at it until I get it, because if there's one thing I learned from pickup, it's that with enough persistence, every last person has a cool story to tell. You just have to work to get it out.
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