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Introducing myself and a question about my first approach.
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Author:  PickThingsUp&PutThemD [ Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:56 am ]
Post subject:  Introducing myself and a question about my first approach.
WALL OF TEXT


I read the stickies, and the rules and it was very adamant that I not post "Newbie questions" in the wrong area. I couldn't locate a proper place to ask a question so I figured I would tag it on after my introduction.

>where you're located
Tx
>your age
16
>how you got into "the game"
Always interested in bettering myself
>how long you've been studying and practicing pickup
I've read stickies, guides, and "the game" a while ago but I've only decided to try to apply it to my life in the past day.
>which pickup method(s) you like to use
Walk up and wing it. (As you can guess it hasn't worked too well)
>what your hobbies/passions are
Lifting weights. A mix of hypertrophy based muscle building and strength training.
>what your goals are
Conquer some anxiety, build self confidence, and becoming more natural at associating with females.

>and whatever back story you wish to share with us.
I played neopets before I attended kindergarten. Then it was runescape, then Star Wars Galaxies, then WoW enveloped my life and made me the typical anti-social neckbeard gamer. At 14 I started going to the gym with my brother. This was probably the biggest turning point in my life. I became obsessed with bettering my physique, because I KNEW "Getting big, gets you women." I'm 16 and have built my physique significantly up. It certainly gets me more looks when I walk around the beach and river, but I soon realized, changing your body doesn't make you a more social person. I pulled a girl or two before I lifted weights and to be honest, I'm still surprised they were attracted to me. Being as honest as possible, at 14 years I was probably a 4-5/10. With my attempt at changing the way I dress, look, and act, I would say I'm a 7-7.5/10. I've been rated like 8.5 by some girls on facebook but come on, default pictures are when we look our best.

I'll stop rambling and continue to my story about my first cold approach today. Hopefully some people with free time haven't been shooed away by my lovely brick of text.

On vacation at the beach, my brother pointed out a nice looking girl walking the beach. I left the pool and ran to go talk to her. I was nervous and quickly looked for an excuse "She was too old" or something like that. Told myself to stop being a pussy and "All women are disposable" (read that on this site).

I walked up to her, waved, and said hello. She smiled, and took out her headphones. I introduced myself and went for a handshake. She obliged and told me her name. I was nervous, and tried my best to conceal it. I think I did well, but she could probably tell I'm not the smoothest person. After a while, I told her to walk with me and she did so. We walked up the beach for a bit than turned around. She was staying with her friend. I am a very "Jump to conclusions" person and I feel like I would have noticed if she seemed uncomfortable in the slightest. She seemed a bit shy just because she talked a bit quietly, but she laughed a lot and I thought we were having a good time. She told me she was very into poetry, so I asked if she had any poems she wrote memorized. She didnt so I asked "If I give you my number will you text me a poem?" She said something along the lines of her wanting me to text her first. (She wanted me to chase her) I just said I didn't have my phone so she said she'd make an exception, and she put in my number and name into her phone. She told me she would text me. She told me where she was staying, and she would be back on the beach again. I walked back down the beach and when it got to my condo, I hugged her and said bye. I felt pretty good at that time. Quite the confidence boost that the first girl I talked to, didn't reject me. However, it's something like 4 hours later, and no text.

I wasn't expecting her to contact me first thing, but it now seems like she's uninterested in me. She was attractive, but I wasn't trying to get laid or a relationship. I just don't know anybody around here and figured if I could talk and hang out with someone my age, it'd be nice. Now I know I'm probably gonna get the "Ya know sometimes she's just not that into you". But it just seemed odd she told me where she was staying, was going to give me her number, and other details that seemed like she was interested.

Now it's a slight shitty feeling because I get the "If I looked better, she probably would have texted me" feeling. But I'm not going to jeopardize my confidence thinking about someone that isn't thinking about me.

Any tips on what I could have done wrong, or what I could do better. I'm up to providing more details if anyone wants.

Lastly if anyone actually took the time to read that, you are awesome!
Author:  Number7 [ Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Hi there, im a complete newbie to the forum but i have almost finished the book about 'The game' so i could try and offer some insight on your situation?
okay so you didnt use a opener right? but i guess the approach went well and she was speaking to you, the thing you could take into consideration was how the handshake was, if it was a firm handshake, if her hand was on top of yours, so u could analyze that body language, also what i have learned is that the PUA always gets the girls number, and calls her? so maybe you should have done that? Thing is, if you got her number you would have waited a while before you called or texted her, shes probably doing the same to you, seeing how long you can hold out etc! give it some time and play it smooth!

Number 7
Author:  PickThingsUp&PutThemD [ Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hi there, im a complete newbie to the forum but i have almost finished the book about 'The game' so i could try and offer some insight on your situation?
okay so you didnt use a opener right? but i guess the approach went well and she was speaking to you, the thing you could take into consideration was how the handshake was, if it was a firm handshake, if her hand was on top of yours, so u could analyze that body language, also what i have learned is that the PUA always gets the girls number, and calls her? so maybe you should have done that? Thing is, if you got her number you would have waited a while before you called or texted her, shes probably doing the same to you, seeing how long you can hold out etc! give it some time and play it smooth!

Number 7
Thank you very much for responding! Definitely some things to look for and try in the next approach.

Some updates on my situation:
I thought she could be waiting a long time to text me, but I didn't want to seem like some desperate kid just like "No she's gonna text me, I know it, I just gotta wait longer." But sure enough, somewhere around 7-8 hours after we parted, she texted me.

Her method seemed to have worked on me. :/ She got me to jump the gun and post on a forum about her. lol.

We texted for a little bit but it was late so she went to bed. I probably should have been leading and ended the conversation myself, but I'm much more of a late night person.

Lastly, from what conversation we made yesterday, our basic views on religion, law, philosophy, and life, are complete opposites. (we covered a lot of topics lol)
Author:  GameSetMatch [ Sun Jul 01, 2012 4:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
"I pick things up and I put them down." I love that commercial.

You're a thoughtful young man who cares about keeping his body in good shape and socializing with women in the correct way. In a couple of years you're going to be miles ahead of the other guys; just blowing them out of the water. But for now, just practice what you can, learn what you can, and don't neglect your inner game.
Author:  PickThingsUp&PutThemD [ Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"I pick things up and I put them down." I love that commercial.

You're a thoughtful young man who cares about keeping his body in good shape and socializing with women in the correct way. In a couple of years you're going to be miles ahead of the other guys; just blowing them out of the water. But for now, just practice what you can, learn what you can, and don't neglect your inner game.
The commercials crack me up. :lol:

I really appreciate the compliments, it helps me build my confidence.
I'm reading up on some threads about inner game on this site, and on the internet.

Confidence in the past has really been my sticking point. In eighth grade I institutionalized and diagnosed with something the nurse called MDD (Major Depressive disorder) and Bipolar disorder. I was in such a shitty frame of mind that I would just feed my own depression and hate myself.

When I stated lifting weights, I threw MDD and Bipolar disorder out the window and came to the conclusion that I probably had neither and just needed a real big dose of "Man the F*ck up." I'm such a different person now inside and out. I have no sympathy for my whiney stage in life.

Nowadays I enjoy listening to rappers like Big sean, drake, kanye, and little wayne. This is not my REAL choice of music. I listen to those artists because they are so in love with themselves and constantly talk about how amazing they are. It just gives me a pretty big confidence boost. Eventually I'd like to be able to ditch the music and just talk to myself in my head for all the confidence I need. Just one step at a time.

Update on the girl:
She texted me first when she woke up. We talked throughout the day and she waits until tonight to drop the "I'm on this vacation as a break from my 2 year boyfriend" and then of course the next text was her spilling out her life story to me and the ending line was "I still love him and he still means the world to me"

Immediately "Fuck I've been friendzoned" went through my head.

She was just like "I dont know what to do now"
I just replied with "Yolo"

She could've saved me time by telling me this when I asked if she was single the first time I talked to her. My guess is she's just leading me on for her own self-validation.

Where do I go from here? At this point I'm thinking just abandon ship. I'm on vacation here for 5 more days, it's about to be the fourth of july, Staying in a condo in orlando with the best view of fireworks, and there's always parties going on. I have so many options and opportunities.

My main question is what do I say to her? I worry she wants to talk as friends or something. How do I just phrase, I want fun, and if she's not down, I don't wanna talk. Fun doesn't have to be "scoring", but if I wanted a girl to vent to me about her problems so I could be a supportive guy, I'd talk to my sister, not her.



Another problem is I probably overthink so much, which is shown by my huge ass walls of text.
Author:  zlibby76 [ Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm NOT a newbie and I "mostly" read your thread. Lol. You have BIG BALLS for approaching that chick on the beach.

Remembering back, did you let her know in some way WHAT you wanted from her? Ie... sex? What I mean is, were you looking at her or talking to her in ways that "communicated" that you're a sexual guy?

You see, girls KNOW that when boys approach them what they want. It's just that MOST of the time the guys "hide" their intentions. If you thought she was HOT, did you tell her that? Did you show it with HOW you looked at her?

If she didn't get in contact with you, it MAY (or may not) have been b/c it wasn't clear WHY she should call/text you. If she KNEW that you "wanted" her and you communicated it in a FUN & PLAYFUL way, I find it hard to believe she would NOT be interested.

Did you in display your "sexual interest" in her in any way?

Curious...

Z
Author:  Number7 [ Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
thats actually pretty freaky considering i was diagnosed with bipolar, but then after about 6 months of therapy and a few lifestyle changes my psych said i was fine, weird how small things like gym, music, food etc can change you.


As for the girl, try some different methods of attraction, take her mind off and away from him i guess, but she seems pretty hooked on him, you could try take her mind off him and use some types of attraction such as role playing, so it seems harmless to her, i think you should try do something with her before its too late, but dont singly commit to her, you have other options :P GOOD LUCK! keep us updated

Number 7
Author:  PickThingsUp&PutThemD [ Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
thats actually pretty freaky considering i was diagnosed with bipolar, but then after about 6 months of therapy and a few lifestyle changes my psych said i was fine, weird how small things like gym, music, food etc can change you.


As for the girl, try some different methods of attraction, take her mind off and away from him i guess, but she seems pretty hooked on him, you could try take her mind off him and use some types of attraction such as role playing, so it seems harmless to her, i think you should try do something with her before its too late, but dont singly commit to her, you have other options :P GOOD LUCK! keep us updated

Number 7
The power of a good diet and exercise on mental health is indeed amazing.

As soon as she brought up the guy, I tried the "straw man technique" to build him up to unrealistic standards, but she still seems extremely attached. Everyday she's the one texting me first, and today she just randomly throws in how she "misses her bf sooo much." She has that oneitis, and I've abandoned the thought of getting anything out of this girl. I'm texting her back whenever I get bored now. I don't mind just talking to her and being nice, but it's pretty much just wasting my own time.

@ zlibby76
I lol'd and got a cheeky grin when I read your huevos comment.

As for making my intentions known, I figured she might get the idea I was interested in her because I approached her out of nowhere, I asked if she was single, and wanted to get her number. My ideal goal ofcourse would be to get laid, but ultimately I was looking for a girl to hang out with and mess around with.

The closest I got to telling her she was hot was complimenting her hair color, I'm a sucker for unnatural redheads. I didn't want to be too generous with comments and come off as a white knight.

Half the time, she plays interested and sends lots of smilie faces and such, but then it's usually followed a few texts later with something involving her "boyfriend."

My second mission:
I've been talking to my brother, whose in his early twenties about PUA's and this forum. We both went to the mall this morning pretty casually well dressed, and smiled and said Hi to girls that made eye contact with us. Nothing ever led to anything. Most of them were walking past us, so the ones we talked to said hello back, but continued on their way.

For the first time in a lonnnnnng time I actually got approached by a girl. An indian girl maybe around my age or a few years older walked diagonally in front of my brother and I then turned and said hello. I smiled and said hi, then she very quietly followed up with a line. All I could catch was "something something you have a very blessed day" While I'm not religious, she was very nice so I smiled and said "you too!"
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