PUA Forum :: Married, unhappy and looking to play

I am 36 and based in the United Kingdom, in the south east.
As the subject says, I am married and not happy about it. Great kids, the rest is plain bad, but I shall not bore you good folks with the details save that I am not ready to make a break of it.
It starts with me noticing a girl at work. I think she moved into the office from another - something to find out anyway! She may not be an objective 10, an 8+ maybe, but I like her a lot! Danger point spotted; one-itis. Danger point avoided. That is my age old error.
I was a classic nice guy AFC. Now recognised and now changing.
I am going to play the game with the young lady and see what happens. Good practice at least!
So far very early days, not much excuse to cross her path yet. Good eye contact and lots of smiles. Some light chat and casual e-mails. I have mixed it up with paying attention to female colleagues instead of her and some very to the point business e-mails. Yesterday leaving work she asked me if I was going to an office party on Friday.
General advice and comment most welcomed.

Fix your marriage or end it.

Hard fact: You meet this young girl, have a fling and your wife finds out and what happens?

What about your kids?

You're fucking up all over the place - not only are you about to fuck around on your wife, potentially destroy your whole fucking family - but you're also looking to fuck a chick at your office?

Man up. Be a father and a husband. If you don't want to be - then get your shit in order - your kids deserve that!

YOU have the decision... your kids don't. Man the fuck up.

Quote:

Solid sentiments and all of that is already going through my head, and in fairly similar language. Fuck this girl in the office? I'm not ready for that kind of closure yet.

...and please understand I'm not trying to come off as superior or condescending... My morals have underwent major issues in my day... BUT - when kids are involved, they need to be the priority.

Quote:

...and please understand I'm not trying to come off as superior or condescending... My morals have underwent major issues in my day... BUT - when kids are involved, they need to be the priority.

No, not condescending. Sergeant-Majorish, perhaps.
There are very strong reasons not to end the marriage and I have been holding it together for years.
I don't know how this will pan out. Maybe I'll end up deciding to carry on, making the marriage work as best as it can. Maybe I'll realise that the point has come at which I can no longer do that. There is more than one work stream going on here and working through the marital problems is one of them.
In the meantime a little, carefully managed, female company now and then may just keep me sane. And my ego probably needs a lift too.

Dude, if you can find a fuck on the side that's truly discrete, GO FOR IT.

I suggest someone who has more to lose than you do by coming forward about it. Another married person is the best chance, IMO.

Author:	Wigster [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:51 am ]
Post subject:	Married, unhappy and looking to play
I am 36 and based in the United Kingdom, in the south east. As the subject says, I am married and not happy about it. Great kids, the rest is plain bad, but I shall not bore you good folks with the details save that I am not ready to make a break of it. It starts with me noticing a girl at work. I think she moved into the office from another - something to find out anyway! She may not be an objective 10, an 8+ maybe, but I like her a lot! Danger point spotted; one-itis. Danger point avoided. That is my age old error. I was a classic nice guy AFC. Now recognised and now changing. I am going to play the game with the young lady and see what happens. Good practice at least! So far very early days, not much excuse to cross her path yet. Good eye contact and lots of smiles. Some light chat and casual e-mails. I have mixed it up with paying attention to female colleagues instead of her and some very to the point business e-mails. Yesterday leaving work she asked me if I was going to an office party on Friday. General advice and comment most welcomed.

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 12:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Married, unhappy and looking to play
Quote: I am 36 and based in the United Kingdom, in the south east. As the subject says, I am married and not happy about it. Great kids, the rest is plain bad, but I shall not bore you good folks with the details save that I am not ready to make a break of it. It starts with me noticing a girl at work. I think she moved into the office from another - something to find out anyway! She may not be an objective 10, an 8+ maybe, but I like her a lot! Danger point spotted; one-itis. Danger point avoided. That is my age old error. I was a classic nice guy AFC. Now recognised and now changing. I am going to play the game with the young lady and see what happens. Good practice at least! So far very early days, not much excuse to cross her path yet. Good eye contact and lots of smiles. Some light chat and casual e-mails. I have mixed it up with paying attention to female colleagues instead of her and some very to the point business e-mails. Yesterday leaving work she asked me if I was going to an office party on Friday. General advice and comment most welcomed. Fix your marriage or end it. Hard fact: You meet this young girl, have a fling and your wife finds out and what happens? What about your kids? You're fucking up all over the place - not only are you about to fuck around on your wife, potentially destroy your whole fucking family - but you're also looking to fuck a chick at your office? Man up. Be a father and a husband. If you don't want to be - then get your shit in order - your kids deserve that! YOU have the decision... your kids don't. Man the fuck up.

Author:	Wigster [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Married, unhappy and looking to play
Oops

Author:	Wigster [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Married, unhappy and looking to play
Quote: Fix your marriage or end it. Hard fact: You meet this young girl, have a fling and your wife finds out and what happens? What about your kids? You're fucking up all over the place - not only are you about to fuck around on your wife, potentially destroy your whole fucking family - but you're also looking to fuck a chick at your office? Man up. Be a father and a husband. If you don't want to be - then get your shit in order - your kids deserve that! YOU have the decision... your kids don't. Man the fuck up. Solid sentiments and all of that is already going through my head, and in fairly similar language. Fuck this girl in the office? I'm not ready for that kind of closure yet.

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Married, unhappy and looking to play
Quote: Quote: Fix your marriage or end it. Hard fact: You meet this young girl, have a fling and your wife finds out and what happens? What about your kids? You're fucking up all over the place - not only are you about to fuck around on your wife, potentially destroy your whole fucking family - but you're also looking to fuck a chick at your office? Man up. Be a father and a husband. If you don't want to be - then get your shit in order - your kids deserve that! YOU have the decision... your kids don't. Man the fuck up. Solid sentiments and all of that is already going through my head, and in fairly similar language. Fuck this girl in the office? I'm not ready for that kind of closure yet. ...and please understand I'm not trying to come off as superior or condescending... My morals have underwent major issues in my day... BUT - when kids are involved, they need to be the priority. I also never tried to run game on chicks I worked with (I'm self-employed now). I don't shit where I eat. If that goes south at work - you could lose everything. A bad breakup with the office chick could alert your wife, notify your employer, cause potential sexual harrassment inquiries (true or not isnt the point - all that has to be known is that you fuck that girl in the office and you lose all - consentual or not, doesn't matter then. You're the cheating spouse, and she's the victim!) Think it through man.

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Author:	Shine83 [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:
or have an open relationship. everyone has the right to get enjoyment... so be the one but not fell in guilt..

Author:	Wigster [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Married, unhappy and looking to play
Quote: ...and please understand I'm not trying to come off as superior or condescending... My morals have underwent major issues in my day... BUT - when kids are involved, they need to be the priority. No, not condescending. Sergeant-Majorish, perhaps. There are very strong reasons not to end the marriage and I have been holding it together for years. I don't know how this will pan out. Maybe I'll end up deciding to carry on, making the marriage work as best as it can. Maybe I'll realise that the point has come at which I can no longer do that. There is more than one work stream going on here and working through the marital problems is one of them. In the meantime a little, carefully managed, female company now and then may just keep me sane. And my ego probably needs a lift too.

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Married, unhappy and looking to play
Quote: Quote: ...and please understand I'm not trying to come off as superior or condescending... My morals have underwent major issues in my day... BUT - when kids are involved, they need to be the priority. No, not condescending. Sergeant-Majorish, perhaps. There are very strong reasons not to end the marriage and I have been holding it together for years. I don't know how this will pan out. Maybe I'll end up deciding to carry on, making the marriage work as best as it can. Maybe I'll realise that the point has come at which I can no longer do that. There is more than one work stream going on here and working through the marital problems is one of them. In the meantime a little, carefully managed, female company now and then may just keep me sane. And my ego probably needs a lift too. Dude, if you can find a fuck on the side that's truly discrete, GO FOR IT. I suggest someone who has more to lose than you do by coming forward about it. Another married person is the best chance, IMO.

Author:	Wigster [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Married, unhappy and looking to play
Quote: Dude, if you can find a fuck on the side that's truly discrete, GO FOR IT. I suggest someone who has more to lose than you do by coming forward about it. Another married person is the best chance, IMO. Office girl can be my first bit of (enjoyable) practice. No need to go for closure there!

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