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Should I give up?
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Author:  Nick2910 [ Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Should I give up?

Okay so this is my first post because I need some help. My friends aren't much help and it is frustrating the hell out of me wondering on what I should do.

So here is the situation.

I met this Girl On Facebook through another friend and started talking to her a few weeks ago. We got on pretty well and were joking around and everything. I saw her at a club not long after that and kissed her that night and she gave me her number and said text me.

So the next couple days I texted her nearly all day and she was replying just as much. Then about a week later the texts turned into not much, and the facebook conversations followed pretty much the same way. I always initiated and sometimes they would flow well but other times it was a struggle.

She works at a local bar that I go to a bit and over the last few weeks I have been there 3 times and the first two times I would try and talk to her a lot and flirt a bit. I would get it back a bit but even if i texted her that night or the next day it would result in nothing good and still, she wouldn't text first.

I decided to freeze her out and didn't speak to her at all for about a week and a half and then on Friday went to the bar with friends. I didn't look at her or speak to her at all and then when she walked past a couple times she poked me and then at the bar i ordered a drink, put the money on the bar and was talking to my friend facing the other way. It seemed to go well. Still no text or anything though.

I just spoke to her on fb chat tonight to ask her something straight forward about another friend not trying to start a convo and it ended in her joking around saying I was rude on Friday night. I thought that might mean I got her attention at least.

So my question is do I just forget about her because it is too much trouble? Or do I try something else? (I think I may know the answer to it but need another trained opinion )

Author:  pumpington [ Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

stop building rapport over the phone and social media, you should be trying to get this girl to hang out with you in person, not flirt all day every day and become her gay friend, if you want to have sex with her, make that happen, if she has excuses for why not to hang out or shows extreme dis-interest when you escalate, then move onto a different girl that is receptive, in the grand scope of things though, if you are in a dry spell you should be meeting as many women as possible until you find one you can really connect with, move things forward and if they can not be moved and she is not compliant, then don't waste your time on her and continue meeting as many women as possible trying to form a real connection

Author:  Nick2910 [ Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:08 pm ]
Post subject: 

firstly thanks for replying.

What would be the best thing to do with her if she agrees? I don't think going anywhere where I would have to buy anything would be good because that makes me her bitch basically.

looking forward to your response

Author:  pumpington [ Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:08 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
firstly thanks for replying.

What would be the best thing to do with her if she agrees? I don't think going anywhere where I would have to buy anything would be good because that makes me her bitch basically.

looking forward to your response
invite her to watch a movie at your house, or go for a drink somewhere (then back to your house after, use any random excuse), or out to do something fun you like doing (then back to your house after)

from start to finish do your best to be turning her on, put her in a good mood, and be touchy and affectionate, flirt, get her home, make out with her, and try to close

if she is not interested, you should find a girl that is, it just takes more approaching, look for girls that you click with and respond well to touch

Author:  Nick2910 [ Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:10 am ]
Post subject: 

okay thanks,

i will organise to meet up with her this week. I'll keep you posted ;)

Author:  Nick2910 [ Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:30 am ]
Post subject: 

okay think it's time to find a new target.

i asked her to hang out this week. nope too busy.
asked about saturday night. she thinks she is going away.

i said next week? she replied 'maybsss'

not worth the trouble i don't think.

Author:  Geza [ Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
okay think it's time to find a new target.

i asked her to hang out this week. nope too busy.
asked about saturday night. she thinks she is going away.

i said next week? she replied 'maybsss'

not worth the trouble i don't think.
Hey man, first thing to remember is DON'T lose confidence in yourself when this happens! I know it sux when u think ur doing amazing with a girl and it just fizzles out but take it as a lesson for your next set.
From reading from your posts, it seems you did a bit too much flirting and not enough asking out. It good to build a little rapport after getting her number but u need to ask her out somewhere (whether its your house or bar or wherever) or you miss the "window of oppotunity" for when it will be easiest.
Especially if you kiss closed her as that will be the last memory of you that she had, so asking her out should be quite soon after this (thats why she gave u her number!). If you do this next time it will show confidence (tell her: "Hey, we need to watch this movie tonight..bla bla").
By waiting you show that ur not confident enough to ask her out at which point her attraction and connection with you gets less and less everyday.

So all in all, She doesn't wanna hang with u now? Well screw her man, lets plenty more girls you can approach while using this girl as a "lesson" on what to next time you're in this position.
Keep it up man!

Author:  Nick2910 [ Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:

Hey man, first thing to remember is DON'T lose confidence in yourself when this happens! I know it sux when u think ur doing amazing with a girl and it just fizzles out but take it as a lesson for your next set.
From reading from your posts, it seems you did a bit too much flirting and not enough asking out. It good to build a little rapport after getting her number but u need to ask her out somewhere (whether its your house or bar or wherever) or you miss the "window of oppotunity" for when it will be easiest.
Especially if you kiss closed her as that will be the last memory of you that she had, so asking her out should be quite soon after this (thats why she gave u her number!). If you do this next time it will show confidence (tell her: "Hey, we need to watch this movie tonight..bla bla").
By waiting you show that ur not confident enough to ask her out at which point her attraction and connection with you gets less and less everyday.

So all in all, She doesn't wanna hang with u now? Well screw her man, lets plenty more girls you can approach while using this girl as a "lesson" on what to next time you're in this position.
Keep it up man!
yeah man thanks for the confidence and you make a lot of sense. I think that is exactly my problem. I wait too long and spend too much time on facebook/texting without making progress.

It is just really frustrating having to find someone else when you thought one girl was in the bag haha..
anyways as you say i will learn from my mistakes.

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