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Is there a fit?
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Author:  Aeron [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Is there a fit?
Greetings!

I must say, having read "The Game", and long ago having perused some of RJ's SS material, I think I might like it here.

But my story is likely very different than most.

When I first became aware of the PUA community, many, many years ago, it intrigued me. I have always been a fan of logical reasoning and basic human psychology. I've also noticed facets of my own behavior that had meshed with these themes prior to having read them laid out in concrete examples, much less workshops and structured courses.

However, when I was dating, I became frustrated with the typical bar scene far before attempting to put any of these techniques to practice.

So I did what seemed most logical at the time, and joined an old school VHS dating service, dating dozens of women, and found a woman to make my wife.

I have now been married for over 10 years, and am very happy with my wife and the life we've built together.

What, you say? Married?

Yes. Married. And no intention of changing that. So why am I here?

I have spent several years intrigued with the idea of multipartner relationships. I brought these subjects up with my wife many years ago, and she, unsurprisingly, reacted negatively.

However through years of discussions, logical reasoning, and creative visualization, she began to see the virtues of living a life more in tune with human nature than working against it. And was, in fact, the first to suggest that we give a polyamorous lifestyle a try.

Polyamory and the Pickup Arts

So fast forward to today. My wife and I both are free to date. However there are vast new challenges I face in this realm. Whereas most men here must fight the battle from open to close, I must also find ways to psychologically frame polyamory as the healthy alternative to restrictive monogamy as well. This is a challenge that I welcome, and am very much committed to mastering.

I have years of experience making the case, but am interested in finding the perfect balance and technique to psychologically framing this case in a pick-up scenario, and anchoring myself as the great white knight who can lead a woman to the new promised land of polyamory.

So, my question is, are there others here like me? How do you all see the world of techniques you have developed as being mold-able to this new challenge?

--Aeron
Author:  Aeron [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Welcome to the forum!

Even though i'm very uneducated when it comes to polyamory relationships i can imagine that it, perhaps mostly from the male side, takes a whole lot of heart and guts to be able to picture your woman/partner with someone else and still be able to lay down next to them with that knowledge in your head. This i can only respect.
heh, "Respect..."

Here are some truisms:

1. 99% of every woman you pick up will have had other partners. Maybe a partner as recent as the night or week before.
2. 99% of every woman you end up sleeping with, if you don't marry, will have partners after you.

So getting over the idea that a woman will sleep with someone else, or might sleep with someone else, is not a huge stretch for me. So long as I mitigate the STD risk with safe sex, as i am sure many if not all of you do to some extent.
Quote:
Perhaps after 10 years of marriage one is in need of a change and chooses such a structure instead of divorce, am i wrong here? :)

Anyway, looking forward to see more of your posts!
Very true, after 10 years of monogamous marriage, many if not all will think about other possibilities. Statistics are out there on the success rates of traditional monogamous marriage and infidelity. And they're not good. Of those that *do* stay married, many cheat. Of those that don't cheat, many are swingers.

Those that stay in a lifelong monogamous marriage are the vast exception, not the rule.

So the case for polyamory is in part a decision on whether having built a long-lasting healthy relationship (not easy), and then having the desire to meet others, is worth throwing away the investment on the LTR.

One other long-term reality that so many don't account for, is that if you spend all this time finding "the one", and you do everything right, nail it, and become one of the few lifelong monogamous success stories, you guarantee that one of you will be left at some point mourning alone over the grave of the other.

Not something I would want, nor wish on someone I love.

Either way, looking forward to seeing what y'all have to add

--Aeron
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