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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 3:03 am 
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I generally try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror: I can't bear to stare at my reflection. But when I do catch a glimpse: I'm stabbed with emotional pain. All I can see.....as far as the eye can see..... is Failure.

Failure.


Failure.


EVERYWHERE.


I am continuously haunted by daunting questions that demand answers I can't deliver: "What happened to me?" and "How did it come to this?" They torment my conscious, eating me up alive. I never imagined my life would end up being so screwed up like this: filthy from ground up. So. Fucked. Up. This is not a life, it's a disgrace to humanity. Sure, I'm alive but I am only surviving - not living. This sad form of existence doesn't seem worth it anymore. The pain is unbearable: I am in need of a Permanent Escape.

It seems like only a few moments ago, I was a happy go lucky kid with delusionally ambitious dreams to become president, an actor or a rich CEO. The world seemed so bright, shiny and full of hope - daring me to go exploring its endless possibilities, infinite adventures. I felt unstoppable, like I had NO FUCKIN LIMITS. THE WORLD IS MINE TO CONQUER. I CAN BE ANYTHING THAT I WANT TO BE. Back then, I was blissfully ignorant: unaware of how dark the world can be. Mother where are you when I need you most? Show me the light.

But now look at me? Constantly cycling between waves of depression and temporary reliefs. Even when I manage to crawl outside my personal misery, I am always left to wonder "How long will I survive before I lose control of myself and relapse to my old patterns of irresponsibility, laziness, procrastination and binging on movies/videogames?" Even when I do manage to get my shit together for a few hours or days, I always end up crashing down. What's the point of trying if you know you'll always fail. What's the point of going on if it never leads to anywhere solid. Hanging on by a thread.

Now I am a mere shadow of my former glory. I miss the days when I was a rising sun in full strength. As the years flew by, I slowly began to realize that my dreams will probably never become a reality. The brutal, harsh reality of the world hit me like a ton of bricks. Smashed skull. I was blind before but now I can see. Words cannot explain how much it hurts me to say this but i'll force the words out of my mouth...

My life summarized one sentence: I have been a rat trapped in a cage running endlessly on a wheel that leads to nowhere. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Welcome to my world. Painful. Devoid of happiness. Plagued with misery. Lost hope. No point in going on. Dead dreams.

Time and time again I have promised myself that I would change for the better. I told myself countless times "I'm going to change my life for the better." Only to move a few inches forward and then fallback to my old way of life. No way out. Trapped forever.

It's clear to me now: No matter how hard I push myself, no matter what new idea I come up with radically turn things down, no matter where I turn to: I ALWAYS END UP BACK AT SQUARE ONE. I feel like I am trapped in mediocrity and even if I bang and smash my head against the wall in rage and fury, I still won't be able to escape. I am locked in an endless cycle of being average and my old lifestyle. The 1000 or so comments on reddit cringe were right: my situation is beyond repair. I am a butterfly caught in a spider's web and my wings have been torn off.

These last moments reminds me of the time it was pouring rain out and I was outside the subway station contemplating what the fuck I'm doing with my life. No matter what answer I gave myself: it still seemed meaningless. I've thrown spirituality to the waste side and made my entire life a hedonistic, shallow pursuit of women. How low have I fallen. What animal I have become. Even if I win this rat maze and get laid I'll never remove the guilty feelings for having abandoned G-d. May G-d forgive me for I have gravely sinned.

The flickering light at the end of the tunnel has permanently dimmed. Thank you for those who emotionally supported me [censored names]. For those mercilessly attacked me like I'm a subhuman: I will never forgive you. Mom, grama, dad: I'm sorry I always treated you like shit and you had to find out about the hard way. Don't judge me. I love you. Good bye: it's been a good run and my life had its good moments but everything beautiful is temporary. This is the final, final end. Sleeping forever in heaven.



I am happy now.


Last edited by Cupid_007 on Fri Jan 23, 2015 5:45 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 3:05 am 
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The above was what I wrote before yesterday..... I am 100% entirely fine now.

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Now rays of sunshine have pierced through the dark clouds. I am only going to say this once because I am tired of repeating myself: I am completely fine. I swear. The entire incident is over.
I have a new plan that's going to change everything.
I thought success in pickup would be as easy as a casual walk in the park. Heck the youtube videos made it look like the easiest thing in the world - even a kid could do it! What's so hard about just walking over to another human being and uttering a few words? Or so I thought...

Looks can be very deceiving.It looks x1000 easier than it actually is. Everything is so simple until you're actually in the situation yourself and then AMAZINGLY everything changes! Perceptions shift radically. Emotions flare up. And now those few feet between you and her seem miles long. She doesn't look like a pretty girl anymore but rather an intimidating dragon that you have to slay by shooting pickup lines at her.

It's ironic how being so close to death can teach you so much about life. (The fact that one day all our lives will end is exactly what makes life valuable). I've gravely underestimated how bloody hard my journey would be. I thought I had it all figured out but I was actually walking blind without even realizing it. I thought I was BOSS but then I realized how weak and fragile I actually am. I though I needed no one because I was independently strong but then I realized that an emotional support network of a few close friends makes a big difference. I thought I was Batman but then realized I'm still a kid, who never grew up, in an adult's body.

They say "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." But this quote is only true for those who make REAL, considerable progress every day. But I was under the illusion that I was making progress but in reality all my life was mining fool's gold. I thought I was chasing my dream but in reality all my life I was a cat chasing a laser pointer.

Imagine spending 5 hours each day, every day, every week for the course of six months working on building the Ultimate Gaming PC. A Dream Machine. Then you wake up one day, jump off your bed to look at your masterpiece only to find it's been stolen. All that time, effort, energy was wasted. It all lead to NOWHERE. That feeling. It's the worst feeling in the world and I have it in me. All the time.
This feeling was the main reason for the suicidal thoughts was because I was tired of being trapped in the life cage that I was in. I felt hopeless: no matter what I did I couldn't break out of my old negative life patterns. Everytime I came up with some plan to change everything it would always fail. I can't keep resolutions for shit. Dozens of failures, over the course of years, can make sometimes make you snap.

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I remember that I kept telling myself over and over and over and over again "There has to be a way out...." I was on edge of giving up but then I an idea occurred to me. I have a new plan: unlike any other that I've had before that would radically improve my life. It's time to leave the past behind and begin again like a new born child and I will document my journey here on these forums.
I am writing on these forums mostly because I believe that my journey is interesting, entertaining, inspiring to others and holds valuable insights to those who can read between the lines. But also because I've found that sharing my story helps keep me going and the feedback I receive is usually encouraging: sometimes even holding valuable advice.

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Cliff notes summary of my life goals:

Some of us aren't satisfied with an average existence. I don't want to just live a normal life just like everyone else. You only live once. #YOLO Make it count. Live life to the very fullest. Why should you settle for anything less than the very best? I hate mediocrity and won't rest until I achieve greatness and become a legendary pickup artist. By 2016 my goal is to record 1,000 infield approaches and make $500 a month from various online businesses.

I don't expect anyone to understand my new plan but for the sake of radical honesty i'll divulge the details...

The New Plan: Mission: LIVE OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. Every single 15 minutes of the day I will rate myself on a scale from 1 to 10. If I score a 5 then that means I'm still inside my comfort zone. Anything over a 5 means that I left I'm living outside it. Keeping track of myself of this way will keep me focused. For additional focus, I'll use a physical or visual anchor. Every 2 hours of the day I'll take a break to pump my state by blasting rock music and repeating motivational mantras, quotes and delivering pep talks to myself. This will keep my state up to ensure that I'm not vulnerable to doing anything stupid. So far this plan has worked miracles.

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At this moment I have something extremely crucial: HOPE. And I need to maintain this at all costs because that's what's keeping me going. But in order to maintain it I need to prove to myself consistently that I CAN make it. I need to deliver real, tangible results. And I shall.


To a better future...


Last edited by Cupid_007 on Fri Jan 23, 2015 5:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 3:09 am 
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This video will give you a glimpse into my game style:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beJaUzdg_g8
(P.S. I do not advocate kiss rape and my wing has acknowledged that particular game flaw. Escalate one step at a time and wait to check to see if the girl is comfortable before taking it to the next step. Handshake > Shoulder Clasp > Highfive > Twirl > Side Hug > Frontal Huge > Cheek Kiss > Lip Kiss.)

The article below was written by me appox. one month ago.


JUMPING INTO A BLACKHOLE OF NO RETURN.
I often find myself asking "Why am I doing this?", "Why am I here?", "What have I done with my life?" and "How did it come to do this?" Somehow this pickup bullshit has turned from a mere innocent curiosity, to a casual hobby, to a weird obsession, to a permanent, crazy lifestyle change.

It's official now: for better or for worse, I have chosen an insane life path: become a HARDCORE pickup artist who travels the country in the shallow,hedonistic pursuit of women: while having multiple online businesses (some of which will be in the PUA niche) to support this expensive lifestyle. My goal is to record 1000 approaches and make $500 online a month by 2016. And there is no longer a way out of this...

Because by dropping out of two of my classes this semester, I've effectively burned down the bridges behind me - (permanently disabling me from returning to college: since I will no longer be eligible for government tuition funding, due to lack of credits). There is no going back now. I've jumped face first into this pile of shit and now, I have to endure the heat of the consequences. Hello, shit storms.

I honestly see myself as Alice, having jumped down the rabbit hole, blowing up the exit: the only way to come out alive, is to go deeper in. I do not know where this journey will lead me to but I will still, boldly venture forward into the darkness, blindfolded: whispering consolations to myself "I will keep going, even if it kills me," and "I.... am... not... afraid." Welcome. To PUA. Wonderhell.

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Last edited by Cupid_007 on Fri Jan 23, 2015 5:55 am, edited 6 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 4:15 am 
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Your success will be inevitable as long as you stay on the right path. You've hit rock bottom and the only way to go from here is up.

Also, learn everything you can about failures like Eliot Roger and do everything you can to be the opposite.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 4:59 am 
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Chief wrote:
Your success will be inevitable as long as you stay on the right path. You've hit rock bottom and the only way to go from here is up.

Also, learn everything you can about failures like Eliot Roger and do everything you can to be the opposite.


It's ironic how sometimes hitting rock bottom is a good thing because it can act as a catalyst for a change of path.

Don't be fooled by the gory logo lol that's a marketing technique. I am religious and strongly against violence or other forms of evil.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 5:08 am 
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 11:50 am 
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Okay, I want to write some sort of advise for you.

I've been following you for the past couple of weeks or so and am intrigued by your passion and dedication to the subject of PUA. I was amazed at how much hand written notes you have on the subject, which you demonstrated in one of your videos.

One of the thoughts I have though is that you're too 'academic' about the subject. You treat it like you're studying it for school to get perfect grades on it. It seems you're quite an intelligent dude but you fail to understand that pick-up is more practical than theoretical. As in, you're treating pick-up like rocket science when it really isn't. You seem to be caught up in the industry and recently have almost been killed by it.

I was shocked when I read your suicide note. But I wasn't really surprised.

I think you're right about one thing though - you need a different perspective.

What I've been discovering that seems to be helping me lately is as follows:

- Adopt a specific mode of behaviour. If you see a girl you like and you have no information that she is married or has a serious boyfriend - then approach her. Don't let her reject you before you even tried! If you let approach anxiety get the best of you then you are letting her destroy your ego without her even doing anything.

- Do not go out to approach women per se. Approach because you see something you like, something you want. Approach like it's your natural behaviour. You're single and not in a monogamous relationship. Those are your reasons for your approaching when you have a desire to approach.

- Do not approach to increment an integer. Who cares how many approaches you've done? Approaching is just who you are now. Again, you do it because you're single and not in a monogamous relationship. You're not doing it to be special or to be a player or a pick up artist. You do it because you see something you like and want to have a crack at getting it.

- Who cares if you never get laid? You've changed your behaviour and you like your behaviour. With this behaviour you don't get stressed when you get rejected. You don't get stressed if there's nothing you like around. Who cares about the results? You're living according to your principals and you're always keeping the door open to getting laid with a smile on your face.

- Adopt more principaled behaviour to make you happy with yourself. Always be HONEST with women. Tell them what you really want. You approach a girl because she's freaking sexy, tell her that you approached her because she's freaking sexy! Adopt behaviour that you will be happy with even if you get NO RESULTS EVER!

- Don't undermine your principals to try to get laid. Do not try to manipulate women, they will only manipulate you in the process! Always keep the scales between yourself and a woman balanced. A woman should be in your company because she wants to be in your company just as much as you want to be in hers. If she's in your company for other reasons she is MANIPULATING you and you will not get the pussy.

- If you approach a girl simply because you want to have sex with her, you should make it clear you want to have sex with her. Don't make it like you just want to be friends or talk about psychology. Again, have strong principals to guide you. You're doing this stuff to get LAID! Be focused on what you want.

- In the end you need to break down all social programming and just be yourself.

Now a bit about me. Like you, I've never gotten laid. Well, I've actually had plenty of sex but I've only ever paid for it. I'm 31 now and never had an unpaid for root.

For the past couple of weeks I've adopted principaled behaviour though. I WILL NEVER PAY FOR SEX AGAIN! That is my number one priority. I've tried to quit the addiction many many times and have always given in out of dissatisfaction with myself for not getting results.

But now I don't care if I get results or not. I'm being who I want to be. If I'm tempted to do an approach during the day (or night if I'm out clubbing) I'm making it a habit to ALWAYS approach (if deemed not dangerous or unsuitable or unlawful or whatever). It's still taking time to ingrain this habit fully so it's not 100% natural yet but it's getting there. It's a choice not to have your ego crushed.

Last year I did get some results. I made out with a girl in a club late last year. And around the same time I had my first real date with a girl. I think that girl was falling in love with me actually but like you, I don't want mediocrity, well not yet anyway. Maybe I could have been in a stable relationship with her by now with regular sex but I don't want that. She was attractive, and nice, but I want to be getting one night stands at clubs. I've been going out every Saturday night with the objective to get laid for years now but so far it's never happened. I've had tastes of being successful though.

Now, though, I'm sure I'll get results. I've got a new perspective. And If I don't get any results, at least I'm being who I want to be without the stress and ups and down that I've had in regards to women in the past.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 2:41 am 
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Dirk Debonaire wrote:
Okay, I want to write some sort of advise for you.

I've been following you for the past couple of weeks or so and am intrigued by your passion and dedication to the subject of PUA. I was amazed at how much hand written notes you have on the subject, which you demonstrated in one of your videos.

One of the thoughts I have though is that you're too 'academic' about the subject. You treat it like you're studying it for school to get perfect grades on it. It seems you're quite an intelligent dude but you fail to understand that pick-up is more practical than theoretical. As in, you're treating pick-up like rocket science when it really isn't. You seem to be caught up in the industry and recently have almost been killed by it.

I was shocked when I read your suicide note. But I wasn't really surprised.

I think you're right about one thing though - you need a different perspective.

What I've been discovering that seems to be helping me lately is as follows:

- Adopt a specific mode of behaviour. If you see a girl you like and you have no information that she is married or has a serious boyfriend - then approach her. Don't let her reject you before you even tried! If you let approach anxiety get the best of you then you are letting her destroy your ego without her even doing anything.

- Do not go out to approach women per se. Approach because you see something you like, something you want. Approach like it's your natural behaviour. You're single and not in a monogamous relationship. Those are your reasons for your approaching when you have a desire to approach.

- Do not approach to increment an integer. Who cares how many approaches you've done? Approaching is just who you are now. Again, you do it because you're single and not in a monogamous relationship. You're not doing it to be special or to be a player or a pick up artist. You do it because you see something you like and want to have a crack at getting it.

- Who cares if you never get laid? You've changed your behaviour and you like your behaviour. With this behaviour you don't get stressed when you get rejected. You don't get stressed if there's nothing you like around. Who cares about the results? You're living according to your principals and you're always keeping the door open to getting laid with a smile on your face.

- Adopt more principaled behaviour to make you happy with yourself. Always be HONEST with women. Tell them what you really want. You approach a girl because she's freaking sexy, tell her that you approached her because she's freaking sexy! Adopt behaviour that you will be happy with even if you get NO RESULTS EVER!

- Don't undermine your principals to try to get laid. Do not try to manipulate women, they will only manipulate you in the process! Always keep the scales between yourself and a woman balanced. A woman should be in your company because she wants to be in your company just as much as you want to be in hers. If she's in your company for other reasons she is MANIPULATING you and you will not get the pussy.

- If you approach a girl simply because you want to have sex with her, you should make it clear you want to have sex with her. Don't make it like you just want to be friends or talk about psychology. Again, have strong principals to guide you. You're doing this stuff to get LAID! Be focused on what you want.

- In the end you need to break down all social programming and just be yourself.

Now a bit about me. Like you, I've never gotten laid. Well, I've actually had plenty of sex but I've only ever paid for it. I'm 31 now and never had an unpaid for root.

For the past couple of weeks I've adopted principaled behaviour though. I WILL NEVER PAY FOR SEX AGAIN! That is my number one priority. I've tried to quit the addiction many many times and have always given in out of dissatisfaction with myself for not getting results.

But now I don't care if I get results or not. I'm being who I want to be. If I'm tempted to do an approach during the day (or night if I'm out clubbing) I'm making it a habit to ALWAYS approach (if deemed not dangerous or unsuitable or unlawful or whatever). It's still taking time to ingrain this habit fully so it's not 100% natural yet but it's getting there. It's a choice not to have your ego crushed.

Last year I did get some results. I made out with a girl in a club late last year. And around the same time I had my first real date with a girl. I think that girl was falling in love with me actually but like you, I don't want mediocrity, well not yet anyway. Maybe I could have been in a stable relationship with her by now with regular sex but I don't want that. She was attractive, and nice, but I want to be getting one night stands at clubs. I've been going out every Saturday night with the objective to get laid for years now but so far it's never happened. I've had tastes of being successful though.

Now, though, I'm sure I'll get results. I've got a new perspective. And If I don't get any results, at least I'm being who I want to be without the stress and ups and down that I've had in regards to women in the past.


Sorry it took so long to respond back.

Thanks for the compliments. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lessons learned from reading your post:

1. Focus on practical aspects of game instead of the theoratical.

2. Not approaching her is like getting rejected before you even try.

3. Results don't matter as much as doing your absolute best.

4. Be more honest with women.

Comments in response to your post:
1. I approach to fill a quota because if there's no quota then I'll lose motivation to approach. I need that pressure.

2. Game is manipulation.

3. Telling her that you want to fuck right away will scare her off. Start with "You look cute..." instead - at least.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 2:45 am 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYnAY2Bua6I

Today I approached and filmed 18 girls in Timesquare. These are the insights that I gained.
1. POPQUIZ. What do you do if you can't see the face of the girl that you are approaching because her back is facing you and/or she is facing the other direction?
Answer: The Blind Approach. You approach her even know you don't know how she looks like. If she turns out to be pretty then deliver direct opener as planned. If she turns out to be too old/young then ask for directions and eject.
The Scout Approach. You pretend that you have to go in the direction that she is in and while you are doing so catch a glance of her face. (Note: this sometimes can be hard to pull off without her realizing that you are just trying to check her out).
2. Keep in mind: you want to avoid looking like you are SEARCHING for women: instead you always have to look like you're in the middle of doing something important during the day: and you accidentally noticed her. Checking women out should be done subtly: not OBVIOUSLY.
Why? Being a pickup-artist is a weird identity. If she asks what you were doing respond with something like "I'm waiting for my friend and was bored..."
3. Remember: You don't want to cause a scene during your pickup approaches in the daytime . Keep things discreet.
Reason: because the more people that see you approach, the more guarded they will be when you approach them. You don't want the girl to think "Oh, he does this to everyone. That's weird." You want her to think "He usually doesn't pickup girls but this time he couldn't help saying a casual comment about me."
4. This above is especially true when you are in a store. Not getting kicked out by security is a priority and that's why you don't want to do too many approaches in a single store, you avoid approaching near staff members and the cashier registers. You also don't plow as hard as you would have if it was outside.
5. The Yad stop (running after the girl and getting infront of her) causes quite a scene - especially in a store. People NOTICE this shit. It's better to just go a place where girls populate and wait until they come closer to you. Then you just spin around or walk 5 feet and open.
6. When inside a store, alternate between BROWSING for shop items and searching for girls to approach. You need to be actually examining items that you are interested in because she'll be weirded out if she notices that you were standing in the toddler's clothing section for 5 minutes!
7. It's ironic really but at least in my experience 90%+ of daygame is just looking for a good opportunity to approach and only 10% is actually approaching and talking to girls. Minimize time inbetween approaches: TAKE every opportunity that presents itself because finding each opportunity REQUIRES a time investment.
(1) In desolate areas you could spend quite a decent amount of time walking around/waiting for targets. (2) A lot of girls are ugly, fat, old, young, with their dads, with their entire family, in a rush, have their entire face covered in a scarf, with a kid or in a massive group. (3) Contrary to popular belief, you can't always approach every girl in every situation. For example: she's in a library, there are no seats nearby her, she's studying for a test and the room policy is "no talking".
The point is: opportunities are not always easy to find so when one slips into your hands be damn sure you take it.
8. The best opportunity is a girl by herself (no cockblockers around) waiting for something or sitting: and there's not too many people to overhear the conversation.
9. If her body-language indicates that she is attracted to you - take advantage of this by using game tactics that require compliance. I.E. Qualification: "If you were in a room filled with people that look exactly like you, how would you stand out?" or Bounce to a different location.
10. If she's sitting and you're standing then you're losing value by the moment. Take a seat as fast as you humanely can - preferably at a highpoint of the interaction and/or when you/her is about to launch into a long story. Use a false time constraint as you sit down.
Example: "Oh that reminds me of my friend Lisa." *take a seat* "I only have a minute..." "Lisa did blah blah blah..."
11. Until the hookpoint you must not allow a single moment of silence because if you do then she will leave or she will find an excuse to leave: "Well nice meeting you..." What is the hookpoint? It's the moment of the interaction where she both WANTS you to keep talking to her and she's comfortable with your presence.
12. Appoint a homebase location where you do not approach like a nearby McDonalds. The homebase location is strictly for pumping your state, taking a break and/or doing whatever else you have to do. Schedule breaks during your daytime session inorder to keep up moral and energy. Approaching in your homebase defeats the purpose of designating it as a place of relaxation. Approaching without R&R can lead to burnout.
13. Never beat yourself up over any approach - no matter how bad it went. You need to associate the prospect of walking up to girls with positive feelings: not negative ones. When I came home today after approaching, I rewarded myself by indulging in Reeses cups.
14. Mindlessly approaching like a machine does NOT necessarily mean you will improve fast. Learning happens from reflection just as much as it happens from practice.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 11:55 am 
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It's funny. I don't seem to be following a lot of the advice I just gave these days. For a while I was on a high but since last week I've slumped again.

The fact of the matter is results do matter. The mission is to get laid. For some reason I think a part of the problems I have is that I don't desire getting laid bad enough. Some interactions I've had seem to have been positive but I've never fully capitalized on them. I've had girls grind me on the dance floor which is a strong IOI, but I've never capitalized on that. I've had opportunities but not taken them fully.

Approach anxiety is a significant issue for me but it's not the only obstacle I face.

Cupid_007 wrote:
Comments in response to your post:
1. I approach to fill a quota because if there's no quota then I'll lose motivation to approach. I need that pressure.


The problem I have with this approach is that it can become more about approaching rather than trying to get laid. For as long as you approach you feel happy with yourself. Approaching takes balls so of course one would feel proud of oneself if one approaches. But if you're not intent enough on getting laid you can sabotage yourself like I have done.

I approached two girls tanning topless on the beach. I went up to them and said 'hey girls' and they got the biggest fright as they were laying down with their eyes closed. You scared the fuck out of me!. I said 'sorry, sorry, I've just come for a look. bla bla bla'. Anyway, I talked to the girl on the right a bit and she seemed interested. She called me 'babe'. But when there was a lull in the conversation I for some reason talked to the girl on the left who was not interested. She said to her friend 'shall we go?' and then I just ejected myself. If I had kept on talking to the girl on the right I could have maybe got her number and arranged to meet up with her for some fun.

That's one example where I was proud of myself for approaching but the execution of it was crap. If I was in more of a methodical and relaxed state of mind I could of succeeded. Approaching alone doesn't guarantee results.

Cupid_007 wrote:
2. Game is manipulation.


My 'game' isn't about manipulation. In my mind and from the things I've studied, manipulation is the enemy. If a girl detects you're trying to manipulate her into sex she will not go for you at all.

At nightclubs I've tried very direct things like the Apocalypse Opener and it's never worked for me because every time I've asked 'would you like to come home with me?' I've said the words like they're magic words and that they will somehow hypnotize the woman and get her to sleep with me. If you use this you have just got to say it like you're just putting the option on the table. Like asking a mate if he wants to play a game of basketball with you.

I find a line that is much more natural for me to say is 'You know, I've been talking with you for a while now and I'm trying to figure out how to get into bed with you'.

Cupid_007 wrote:
3. Telling her that you want to fuck right away will scare her off. Start with "You look cute..." instead - at least.


Yes, especially on the street.

In nightclubs you can say more ballsy things though. There used to be a poster here who would wear a suit to glamor clubs, spot a woman who he detected as being DTF (desperate to fuck), go up to her with a deadpan face and say things like 'We are 2 mature people and I am going to be honest and direct with you... you are very sexy and I want to fuck you tonight". And it worked for him.

done-in-10-minutes-vt125076.html

I haven't had success with being that direct myself though.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:56 pm 
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I highly recommend going to shooting range it will help with your confidence. You should also work out more, and maybe even take a boxing class.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:24 pm 
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Da wrote:
NYC Area I see. Glad to see you in a better place mentally and keeping at it. I'm rooting for ya.

DA


Thanks :D nice to see support


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:08 pm 
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7:24 AM 2/28/2015

It's been a while since I last updated my diary and a lot of things have happened since then that I want to record. So here goes...

I'll start with the very best news: Another pickup video of mine went viral accumulating over 5,500 views within a week. And that's pretty badass: I never knew so many people would care about some stupid video of me talking to girls that I met at a store. Infact it never ceases to amaze me how much attention I've gotten: and honestly: I'm nothing special really. I'm a normal dude who just happens to be a virgin who is trying to get laid through cold approach pickup and records his approaches with covert cams. That's all.

Image

So that's the good news: MY video went viral AGAIN. And sometimes I just look back at my channel and think to myself: WOW. I'm embarrassing myself in-front of of thousands of people. Like WTF is wrong with me. How am I going to live with myself afterwards - knowing that such a large % of the world is laughing at my failed pickup attempts?

What's more is that I recently got banned from the simplepickup forums even though I was very friendly and super cautious not to break any rules. I don't know why I but I somehow managed to pissoff one or two of the members there and they ran around saying lies about me: saying that I was "harassing women" and "that I should stop doing pickup because it's unhealthy for me."

What's more is that there forum policy is: NO WARNINGS. If they would have simply told me what behavior specifically to stop I would have immediately stopped it. All it would have taken was a single PM but no moderator told me anything. I was on the forum since 2013 and I had over 400 posts. My entire 15 page field report and 3 page new field report were deleted - including the FR I wrote about my first sexting experience. THOSE WERE PRECIOUS MEMORIES THAT CAN NEVER BE RECOVERED BECAUSE I DIDNT BACK UP THE FILES.

Being banned really discouraged me and I felt like quitting pickup. I remember asking myself "What's the point of this?" So this has been quite a shitty time for me - honestly. This has derailed my focus and caused me to lost passion in PUA in general. I really needed the support that I got from that forum and the potential networking resources. So yea I've been pretty down for the last week or two - ever since I no longer had access to that forum.
DO NOT BELIEVE THEIR LIES. I JUST MANAGED TO SOMEHOW PISS A FEW MEMBERS AND THIS WAS THEIR REVENGE SCHEME
http://www.simplepickup.com/forum/off-t ... layer.html some of the members on the forums are quite young and you can tell how immature they are by reading their post history - and I'm not just saying this because I'm mad at SP.

I'm hoping to start anew here.

What else has recently boosted my mood is finding a new wingman. He's located in NYC and pretty well connected to other PUAs in NYC. He has a meetup every saturday where he claims that 10 guys show up meet up. I don't know whether he's lying or telling the truth but idc. I'm just excited to finally have a wingman. He said "I know you have a ton of wingman to choose from. Why choose me?" And I recall secretly laughing "LMAO if only that were true. The only wingman I have are two guys who are like twice my age. And some other dude who's like 16, loves to talk to me but for some reason everytime I try to convince him to sarge together - he backs out. Bottom line: I don't have wingman to sarge with." But of course I didn't tell him this because I wanted to come across as cool. He respects me. He thinks I have "game" (i don't). And that makes me feel good - so why spoil the fun? haha When we sarge together this week we're gonna shoot some vids.

The other cool thing that happened was that I got interviewed by a popular online radio show. I made the link private because it's kinda of an embarrassing video where they end up telling me to stop doing cold approach pickup in the streets. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQZ6Q2m45I0

All of these people telling me to stop doing pickup has lead to my overall discouragement but despite them what matters most is this: I believe in myself. I know I can do this. I know I can get this handled: with enough practice and experience. I will win in the end. I believe in me.

Another realization that has recently occurred to me is that's it's probably best that I return to college next semester. My original idea of dropping college to start a PUA business is quite unlikely to succeed in the near future and it's not fair to my parents to have them support me - while I live a carefree pickup lifestyle.


Last edited by Cupid_007 on Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:19 pm 
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twerkfan2000 wrote:
I highly recommend going to shooting range it will help with your confidence. You should also work out more, and maybe even take a boxing class.


i'm considering joining the NYPD. that would boost my confidence x9000


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:29 pm 
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Dirk Debonaire wrote:
Some interactions I've had seem to have been positive but I've never fully capitalized on them. I've had girls grind me on the dance floor which is a strong IOI, but I've never capitalized on that. I've had opportunities but not taken them fully.
.


wow. that's just like me!

Dirk Debonaire wrote:



The problem I have with this approach is that it can become more about approaching rather than trying to get laid. For as long as you approach you feel happy with yourself. Approaching takes balls so of course one would feel proud of oneself if one approaches. But if you're not intent enough on getting laid you can sabotage yourself like I have done.
.


This is very true. I need to focus on getting laid - not just accumulating an approach count for my videos.

Dirk Debonaire wrote:
I approached two girls tanning topless on the beach. .


WOW.

That's crazy ballsy.

Dirk Debonaire wrote:
My 'game' isn't about manipulation. In my mind and from the things I've studied, manipulation is the enemy. If a girl detects you're trying to manipulate her into sex she will not go for you at all.



Game is covert manipulation. Anything that looks obvious is not game. Like Tyler said recently... "Good game is like plastic surgery. You can't tell that it's pickup."

But game is still manipulation. Just some are more subtle and natural about it than others.


Dirk Debonaire wrote:

In nightclubs you can say more ballsy things though. There used to be a poster here who would wear a suit to glamor clubs, spot a woman who he detected as being DTF (desperate to fuck), go up to her with a deadpan face and say things like 'We are 2 mature people and I am going to be honest and direct with you... you are very sexy and I want to fuck you tonight". And it worked for him.
[/quote]

wow. I seriously need to try that line. If and when I do i will let you know....


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