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PeteCage
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 26 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Bonita Springs, FL
Reputation: 0.5  
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 Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 5:37 pm Post subject: What Do I Do?? |
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| Ok so I just moved to Florida from Chicago and I dont know anyone here yet. So I created an online dating profile for myself just because I felt weird going to the bar by myself. So I met this girl on there who actually just moved here not to long ago herself from Chicago. We messaged each other back and forth quite a bit and I really like her. Then I told her we should grab something to eat at this 1 place next week sometime, and she replied saying that'd be great. Then she went on to saying her friend from Chicago was coming in to town as well so the 3 of us should hit up the bars together. Now I posted here because for some reason that made me really uncomfortable, almost as though I'm not sure if she genuinely wants to meet me or is just having me come out so that her and her friend can have a fun time at my expense. I'd really like some input as to whether I should just blow this date off and move on or if I'm just being paranoid and get some advice on how to make it known I'm not gonna pay for all there drinks without coming off as a cheap jerk. Like I dont mind buying a few rounds, or if it was just her and myself I'd pay for her. I just dont want to have to pay for her and her friend when I have never even met the girl before. |
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JSmooth
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 2448
Location: Nashville
Reputation: 278.1
votes: 25
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| Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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| You should go. This is an attempt by her to spend some time with you. Granted she's bringing a friend along, big deal! There are 100 reasons she could be bringing the friend and none of them might have to do with you. She may want a companion with her so that she's safe if this is the first time meeting you. She knows you're from Chicago and figure you and her friend will be along. As far you paying for the both of them, don't. Treat it as dutch. If you want to buy a round go for it, but don't over do it. |
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Arkitekt
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 157
Location: Charlotte, NC
Reputation: 28.7
votes: 2
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| Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 9:30 pm Post subject: Re: What Do I Do?? |
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| PeteCage wrote: | | Ok so I just moved to Florida from Chicago and I dont know anyone here yet. So I created an online dating profile for myself just because I felt weird going to the bar by myself. So I met this girl on there who actually just moved here not to long ago herself from Chicago. We messaged each other back and forth quite a bit and I really like her. Then I told her we should grab something to eat at this 1 place next week sometime, and she replied saying that'd be great. Then she went on to saying her friend from Chicago was coming in to town as well so the 3 of us should hit up the bars together. Now I posted here because for some reason that made me really uncomfortable, almost as though I'm not sure if she genuinely wants to meet me or is just having me come out so that her and her friend can have a fun time at my expense. I'd really like some input as to whether I should just blow this date off and move on or if I'm just being paranoid and get some advice on how to make it known I'm not gonna pay for all there drinks without coming off as a cheap jerk. Like I dont mind buying a few rounds, or if it was just her and myself I'd pay for her. I just dont want to have to pay for her and her friend when I have never even met the girl before. |
Okay, I highlighted a couple of things I saw as red flags in what
you wrote...
Online dating is a different animal in my opinion. I would not consider
your first meet-up as a "date".
First off, you only know this girl through what she's shown you in her
profile and the few messages you've exchanged. She could be a total
nutcase for all you know. It's easy to look/sound good via pictures
and email. When you meet her in person you are really meeting her
for the first time and may get a totally different impression.
The way I see it, the game resets when you transition from online to
in person.
I know she sounds interesting to you, but I wouldn't start using the
language of "I really like her" until you've gotten the chance to see
that she is a real person and not a weirdo.
You need to meet up with her (and her friend if necessary) and screen
her to see if she's the type of girl you'd be interested in. Get her on
the phone first. That way you have her number and you can work out
any snags in the initial meet-up. (i.e. getting lost, running late, etc...)
You really have no reason to pay. Look at the friend as your way out. 
She should not expect you to pay for anything especially in that scenario.
If she does, is she really the type of girl you want to date? Don't buy
drinks for women you don't already "know".
Also, on a side note, you may just want to make her a friend, pivot, or
FB. It would seem weird hooking up and starting a relationship with the
very first girl you meet in a new city while there's millions of options
waiting to be discovered. |
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The Wild One
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 861
Location: Charlotte
Reputation: 101.4
votes: 4
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| Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I think your being paranoid about it. Just relax and enjoy meeting a few new people. |
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