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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 9:49 pm 
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met girl i consider 8/10 based on looks,career, and outgoing. she also just moved to town 1 week before our date.

went on date 1) hugged when it started. made light kino while playing pool. but not overly aggressive. Girl talked all about herself and would instantly conversation change if i would branch off a topic and relate it to me. but i figured 1st date. nerves on her part. i didnt leave the date wow'ed by her personality. but it was meh and she was hot.

Got quick hugged at the end of date. fair enough. date 1. i can understand a girl rushing to avoid a kiss attempt

went on date 2) festival. not great logistics as it was hot and crowded. a little better conversationally. she was more at ease. but still annoyed me how everytime i would start a story, she would once again go "thats so funny" and launch into how it related about her. i actually got bored on this date due to this. i was going to movie night her and maybe thats it after this.

but as i parked my car at her place to let her out, she immediately hopped out of the car. like literally immediately she jumped out of my car as soon as it stopped. no hug good bye or anything. just a quick ill talk to you later after she got out of the car.

I found this rude. and figured disinterest. plus, i wasnt overly wow'ed by her personality so i didnt text her again. but she texted me again after like 3-4 days after the date saying she hadnt heard from me in a bit. so i guess this was dumb, but i brought it up how she jumped out of the car like that and i figured she wasnt interested. she apologized and said she didnt mean to and invited me out for friday night.

so we go on date 3) I actually had fun this time. I was really just giving her a few chances due to looks before this, but She was much more outgoing and normal this time. it was a good night.

i escalated a little bit during the date. and got a dead fish response. not positive or negative. just let me touch her and didnt seem warm about it. so i didnt really progress beyond basic kino. nothing too aggressive. like she was keeping her personal space for the most part, making a kiss attempt quite hard in public. for example, when i went to sit down on a couch at the bar we were at, she said she doesnt like sitting next to someone. and wanted to sit across from me.

then when i drop her off, she gives me a quick side hug and jumps out. while i was still putting my car in park.

she then texted me she had a fun time,etc. and i ignored. she double texted me a week later hey whats up and i ignored.

i kind of regret blowing this one off. the last date was pretty fun. but at the same time, the way she was avoiding getting kissed was turning me off. and i found how quickly she ended the dates to avoid getting kissed at the end rude. but i am wondering if this was all outcome dependence?

but now im wondering if i was outcome dependent on getting a kiss and i just childlishly gave up on her


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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 10:56 pm 
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What is there to regret?

You only regret it because the emotions you felt have faded and you realize that you don't have any prospects that are attractive as this girl. You don't actually like her, you're just in your emotions. You're experiencing whiplash And after about another week you'll be able to be objective about the situation.

The girl personally sounds strange, but then again, you're the one that wanted to see her a second and third time so that says something about you.

Theres not much here on your part. You like her for her looks and anything long term is not looking like a possibility. If you just want to sleep with her, invite her to your place for the next day. Accept nothing less. If she's not willing, then don't go out with her.

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PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 1:43 am 
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Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:00 am
Posts: 62
Quote:
What is there to regret?

You only regret it because the emotions you felt have faded and you realize that you don't have any prospects that are attractive as this girl. You don't actually like her, you're just in your emotions. You're experiencing whiplash And after about another week you'll be able to be objective about the situation.

The girl personally sounds strange, but then again, you're the one that wanted to see her a second and third time so that says something about you.

Theres not much here on your part. You like her for her looks and anything long term is not looking like a possibility. If you just want to sleep with her, invite her to your place for the next day. Accept nothing less. If she's not willing, then don't go out with her.
well i try to give all girls that i find attractive, 2 or 3 chances before i write them off. i guess what i regret/mixed emotions on was she was showing strong interest via text. but just wouldnt kiss, so i gave up and wrote her off. so i am unsure if that was outcome dependence/expecations that turned me off or natural to lose interest in that situation


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PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:56 am 
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Read My Book
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Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Quote:
Quote:
What is there to regret?

You only regret it because the emotions you felt have faded and you realize that you don't have any prospects that are attractive as this girl. You don't actually like her, you're just in your emotions. You're experiencing whiplash And after about another week you'll be able to be objective about the situation.

The girl personally sounds strange, but then again, you're the one that wanted to see her a second and third time so that says something about you.

Theres not much here on your part. You like her for her looks and anything long term is not looking like a possibility. If you just want to sleep with her, invite her to your place for the next day. Accept nothing less. If she's not willing, then don't go out with her.
well i try to give all girls that i find attractive, 2 or 3 chances before i write them off. i guess what i regret/mixed emotions on was she was showing strong interest via text. but just wouldnt kiss, so i gave up and wrote her off. so i am unsure if that was outcome dependence/expecations that turned me off or natural to lose interest in that situation
Your willingness to give second chances is the reason people fuck up the first time.

And its also your fault for waiting until the end of the date to try and kiss her anyway. This ain't a movie. I know you have "excuses" for not doing so, but attraction doesn't care about your excuses.

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