I want to share with you a great article by dating coach and blogger, Mark Manson.
For those of the men who are single, sexless and stressing about it. Take a moment to consider…
…That before meeting someone, instead of worrying whether they’ll like you, you could wonder if you’ll like them?
…That instead of feeling the need to impress her, you could wonder if she impresses you?
…That instead of sitting there silent, wondering what to say next to get her to like you, you could sit there silent wondering what she will say to make you like her?
…That instead of waiting around for her to return your call, you could find something to do while she waits for your call?
…That instead of worrying if you’re tall enough or good-looking enough for her, you could decide whether she’s too superficial to recognize your great qualities?
…That instead of trying to come up with the perfect date, you could decide that a woman who really likes you doesn’t need a perfect date?
…That instead of looking for a conversation she’ll enjoy, you could talk about something you enjoy?
…That instead wondering when she wants to be kissed, you could decide when you want to kiss her?
…That instead of feeling insecure about how good in bed you are, you could wonder on how good in bed she is?
…That instead of looking for her approval, you could decide whether to give your approval to her?
…That instead of getting upset about why she doesn’t want to be with you, you could decide that it means you probably wouldn’t want to be with her?
This may all sound a bit selfish. But, in fact, it’s having strong boundaries and high self-esteem. Only making time for people who make time for you. Only being interested in dating people who are interested in dating you. Worrying about what will make you happy instead of what will make her happy. Looking for a woman who meets your needs instead of trying to always meet hers. Changing yourself to become the man you want to be, not the man you think she wants you to be.
You may be saying, “But I don’t have enough experience to think like this,” or “I’m not cool enough to decide if she’s good enough for me or not.”
It’s that sort of thinking that got you here. It’s time to change your mind about dating.
You’re the only one who gets to live your life. Take it seriously. Have standards.
Women are attracted to someone they can look up to and respect, someone who they can trust. If their man is constantly looking to her for approval, for what to say and how to feel, how could she respect or trust him?
The questions above are designed to change your mind, to change your mind about how you are going about dating and going about meeting women.
Chances are in the past you have searched for a tactic or strategy that will make her like you, that will make her want to be with you, that will make her want to have sex with you.
This mindset leads to unattractive behavior. This mindset creates your anxiety, your insecurity, your need to impress her, to try too hard, to say or do things that don’t feel like the real you.
local-celebrity-the-power-is-yours-mens-t-shirt-3You are what makes a woman feel these things — not the words, not the strategies. If you aren’t happy with the results you get, then it’s time to improve you.
Change your mind about dating. Change your mind about yourself and change your results with women.
The new mindset leads to attractive behavior. It helps you freely express yourself. It removes fear of rejection and being insufficient.
I don’t care how hot she is. Is she good enough for you? Yeah, she’s got a great body and a pretty face, but do you enjoy being around her? Are you ready to leave on a dime if she offends you or breaks your trust?
If not, that’s probably why you’re not with her.
There’s no such thing as “dating advice.” It’s all about self improvement. Work on yourself. Conquer your anxieties. Resolve your shame. Take care of yourself and those who are important to you. Love yourself. Because otherwise no one else will.