this guy on okcupid viewed my profile. i decided to check his out, and i was IMPRESSED! it DHV with lots of material, had a sense of humour, and witt. heres a brief summary of it. thought you guys might want to check it out for those who are doing online dating and have to make a profile


I am toes in sand, breeze on skin, and squirtgun behind you.

MY SELF SUMMARY:

I like to cause trouble. Not the serious kind of trouble so much; more like getting a rise out of somebody. 'Hi Julie... Wow, that shirt is nice' [cheshire smile and walk away].

I'm smart, athletic, particular, and ambitious. I'm judgmental, though I strongly believe in and respect personal freedom. My harshest critic is either myself or, possibly, my mother.

I'm very close with my family and value that aspect of my life very highly. I believe in a higher power and have been raised a Christian. I'm currently supplementing my childhood indoctrination with a serious study and review of the Bible.

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something."

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here:
I've broken a heart and had my heart broken. I'm confident yet have my doubts.
You should message me if:

You have something interesting to say/discuss, you are a genuinely good person, or you are gorgeous. Ideally, it'd be great if you exhibited a combination of the three

_________________
♥ BSB ♥

That quote is from Dr.Cox

Scrubs anyone?

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My Field reports: http://alteregopua.blogspot.com/

Actually, I like this one better. It practically personifies Cocky/Funny, and I almost wanted to date him myself after reading it...

Wish mine were half as good...

I like the OKcupid profile, bombshell... Thanks for posting it. I've had 0 luck with my profile but didn't know how I could beef it up. I've had very good success with Match.com and other sites but maybe the population on OKCupid is a little different and I'm in a new geography.

Onoma, in my opinion the ad you posted crosses the line from cocky/funny to just being an asshole, but that's just me. I mean, it was amusing to read but it just goes over the edge of try-hard. I would like to see statistics on how this ad worked next to some other ones. I think it would score pretty low.

A couple of observations:

- Swearing in online profiles can be seen as low class. I wouldn't do it. There's thousands of words to choose from out there - be creative.

- Negs in an online profile are tricky. The thing about girls and online profiles is that they are scanning through, looking for their ideal man, not someone like their asshole ex-boyfriend who treated them like dirt. Most people (men and women) go through the list of available matches and rank them in their head and then only answer the ones that fall at the very top of the pecking order. Insulting a girl right out of the gate by calling her a "train wreck, stupid, insecure, or boring" isn't going to make her want to contact you. Anything said over email is going to appear much more harsh than if it was said in person, because you don't have the benefit of body language. The girl can't see that you're saying this with a smirk on your face like you don't really mean it so it just comes out as cocky/funny. My rule of thumb is to take any statement made on email and divide it's wording impact in half so that you don't blow someone's face off.

- "I'm a highly successful online dater" in my eyes translates to "this guy is just looking for an easy way to score chicks to fuck." Again, women are looking for Mr. Ideal, which is a handsome picture is supported by words that DHV and flip S & R switches (This guy is going to look after me, this guy is going to be there for me after the sex, etc)

- The last part about convulsing sex would make me cringe if I was a woman. It makes me cringe as a man and I've probably seen every porno movie ever created. It's way too try-hard. This is like walking up to a girl wearing a teeshirt with a picture of your penis photoshopped to look like it's 9 feet long. Way too much, dude - way too much.

I saw this guys profile when he wrote a post on writing successful first messages, claiming he was getting well over a 70% reply rate.

*shrug*

I found it hilarious, anyway...

Its not that hard to get that high of a reply rate with a solid profile and message.

Yes, but Smartbomb was saying the profile was bad... so if he's getting a high response rate, I'm thinking it may be pretty good actually.

OK - I'm going to do an experiment - an over the top cocky/funny ad like this going up side by side with a more tame but still cocky/funny version like I usually put up. We'll see how much traffic they get.

Whoa.

The over-the-top cocky ad wins, hands down.

Just be prepared for some epic email banter. These chicks are feisty. I had to skip the gym because they're coming in like all hands on deck. Holy crap.

I admit, that was entertaining as hell! But if you put up a profile THAT over-the-top cocky, wouldn't that create a bit of a problem when trying to create comfort with the girls that actually message you? I mean, when a girl actually does take the bait and message you, do you have to stay "in character", neg the shit out of her, and be a complete asshole in order to maintain your congruence?...I would think especially if you met with them right away it, would kind of be awkward when you've raised the bar that high in edge and over-the-topness. And wouldn't half of them be just fucking with you and try to snuff your ass for being such a prick?
I'm not trying to be over-critical. I'm definitely no PUA guru, far from it actually. I'm just a newbie trying to figure this stuff out.


Smartbomb: was the over-the-top cocky profile in your experiment that hardcore? Just curious.

Thanks
Ryan

Yah it was that hardcore. Actually a little more hardcore in places. Similar style and tone, though.

The first thing I did was explain a tiny bit about what I was doing to the women, and they seemed to get it. A couple of feminazi's messaged me to just call me out for being such a dick. Nothing would convince these girls anyway - they were straight out of the Women's Studies department and more power to 'em. But two of the women who called me out on my shit came around and ponied up phone numbers (read on...)

I guess I did neg the hell out of them - way more than I would have normally done over email, and they loved it. From the tone of my original ad, they knew that basically everything that I said was going to be over the top, so the lack of voice tonality, facial expression, body movement etc. in the negs didn't matter. I also knew that just by the type of girl who would respond, they could handle the negs. I tried to bring them around to A3 right at the very end without at all getting to comfort to see if they'd meet me still thinking I was a player and an asshole. Turns out, they will. They loved the feisty interaction and they loved coming along for the ride. The one thing I should add is that both of us were using iPhones (I deleted the 20+ "Sent from my iPhone" bits of text) so the emails had the immediacy of an instant message or text.

Just a theory of what happened - they could turn out to all be subs. Some women are just naturally submissive and get literally wet with sexual tension when they are being dominated by alpha males. It isn't abusive - it's just playful, very sexual, the man is very definitely in control of the situation and they love it. Some of the kinkier ones will like to get tied up, abused, humiliated, etc. but they won't get that from me. I'm not into that kind of stuff.

I #closed 3 times in about 4 hours from that one ad. Here's a blow-by-blow of one of the interactions: details-of-a-gold-plated-online-sarge-vt62424.html

The only thing is, I'm not half as badass IRL as I was in this ad. I need to up my outer game to suit, and I only have two days to do it before my first date... lol

Ran into this one randomly one time. Its a long but filled with a ton of great lines.




Looking for a guy who's honest, sincere, faithful, and trustworthy? Well, Good Luck!

I enjoy walks on the beach and an occasional kick in the teeth. My mom says that I kiss like a retarded chimp on angel dust, but I'm not sure what that means. She hurts my feelings sometimes. She also says that I'm a keeper, but I suspect that she means kept locked in a closet, in the basement. I really miss that closet sometimes.

Some of my interests are smoking in church, dropping F-Bombs on the elderly, scratching and sniffing instant lottery tickets, naked table tennis, humping your leg, and hiding from the cops. I'd like to do some of these things at your place.

I don't have sex on the first date, but if we're not actually dating, then it might be OK. Just don't try to get me drunk and take advantage of me, because I don't go for that bullshit. I don't drink much, anyway. Maybe that explains the dry throat.

For the discerning woman, here are my fab "facts" and FAQ's, about the most amazing man you'll ever meet, ME:

1. I am single, never married, and have no children. So far, so good, but subject to change with a bit of old fashioned cunning and deceit. You figure it out. No, don't!

2. A Film Fan... I don't just mean, "I enjoy watching movies." I'm talking about plot, subplot, character, subtext, hero's journey, dialogue, cinematography, things like that. You know - the finer aspects of film. My favorite genres are vintage, amateur, up-skirt, downblouse, bareback, backseat, backdoor, backyard, back to school, back to sleep, bondage and MILF. DOH! Just kidding. Read on.

3. Recently returned from 7 long months in Cancun. It sucks. Nothing there but booze, beaches, sunshine, and sex. However, I developed an affinity for Spanish. If you speak it, I will give 3 points upgrade on your Hotness scale. You're a 6? Now you're a 9! Not a bad deal, if you ask me.

4. I am pretty mean in the kitchen. Seriously. That's where I usually beat people up.

5. I like everything HOT: hot dogs, hot tubs, hot peppers, Hot Wheels, walking on hot coals, hot chocolate, hot springs, anything hot off the grill or press, salsa, chilis, wasabi, the weather, whatevah. Yeah, you know EXACTLY where I'm going with this. Fire and brimstone, Baby.

6. Can I hold an intelligent conversation? Shit, let me tell ya...

7. Am I just trying to get into your pants? No. Actually, I'm trying to get you _out_ of them.

8. My only fault is that I have none. You, too, should be perfect in every way. Someone who can turn water into wine, heal the sick, and raise the dead would be ideal. After all, wine goes great with dinner, and who makes better company than the sick and the dead?

9. Will I still respect you in the morning? Phhhht... I don't respect you now.

10. There's a kernel of truth in everything I say (except when I'm lying).

11. I am comfortable in my own skin (but I usually wear clothes).

12. The last guy who sent you a message is a chump who secretly dresses in drag. I already know this. That's probably why you didn't respond.

13. I may be the last guy on earth who isn't a chump, or doesn't secretly dress in drag. That's why you should respond to me. And only me.

14. I won't go out with women who do drugs. Not unless they're really good drugs and you're willing to share. I'm kidding! Don't do drugs.

15. I can dance. Now I want to learn salsa and merengue.

16. Unlike these other idiots, I know how to use spell shecker.

17. Devoted, charming, chivalrous, loving and sweet. That's what I say.

18. But this is what you get:

19. I generally frown on texting while driving, but texting while in the throes of passion is definitely a deal breaker. Who the hell are you texting, anyway?!

20. (I've saved the best for last) I don't bullsh*t my way through life. I am like a half-retarded Indiana Jones, Will Hunting, and Van Wilder rolled into one. I love adventure and travel and have done so somewhat extensively. I spent the better part of last year in Mexico, where I developed an affinity for Spanish. Bonus if you speak it! I have lived in several great cities, from Miami to New York to San Francisco, have had a variety of professional (and not-so-professional) occupations, and have attended several (good) universities. However, I come from a modest, if not relatively rough, background, so I don't go for a lot of bourgeosie BS. Cultured and worldy? Sure. Learned? More or less. Pretentious? Not so much. I'm a bad boy who's been reformed and refined (in life, not prison). Among others, I went to Fugg U., but don't worry. I'll impress your friends at your little soiree.

- Reminds me: please don't write to me in French. I hate that.

This year I am wrapping up 2 bachelor's degrees and preparing for grad school, provided that I don't bounce to Buenos Aires for steaks and tengo lessons instead. I prefer experience over material things. I am not loaded, nor I don't have tons of time. Buy you 3 free dinners and all of your drinks? C'mon. I'll dub you Queen (Dairy Queen) of the castle (White Castle), but that's about it. J/K!

Really - I am going to be studying (and living life) for awhile, so would prefer to meet someone who is in the same sort of situation, or with the same outlook. The upshot is that I am much better looking in person, I am not afraid of commitment, and I can be a lot of fun. Essentially I am interested in friendship and fun, and if anything develops from there, then I don't necessarily object. I'll stick it out with the right one, and that may lead to amazing possibilities.

So there you are: 20 incredible, indelible, articulate, and compelling reasons to contact ME. So let's stop stalking and start talking! And relax. I'm joking with you (for the most part). There's a 'Message Now' button below. You know what to do.


We'll go to the dump and throw rocks at rats (or hobos), then get drunk on tequila and knock over occupied porta-pots. Or how about a dumpster diving date? YEAH! That should help ease the pressure. Any woman who can get dressed to kill and then swim in trash will definitely make an impression.

(If you are over 300 lbs., we'll go for grazing and a mooooo-vie)

Why does everyone want a "first date" to see if there's "chemistry" anyway? You want chemistry? We will drop a roll of Mentos into a 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke and see what happens. There, you got chemistry.

I'll probably skip on the garden variety coffee date. It burns the sores in my mouth. I don't know... maybe we'll have a few drinks or play table tennis, but don't expect to get lucky. Unless you are really lucky.

Good evening my fellow PUA's. I have just started to dip my feet into the Venusian arts. I threw this online profile together today, I did use some ideas from a few previous post but I did try to make it my own. Any criticism is greatly appreciated. Good or bad!

story-
Saddle up bitches this is where it gets fun. Are you looking for a sweet and honest guy who will bow to your will!? Well you're in luck because there are THOUSANDS of those chumps on this site! If are you looking for the most kick ass guy friend you've ever known then keep your beautiful eyeballs on my profile. Look at that, you are already doing what I tell you to do, this just might work out.

Ok, I know you are dying to hear about me, so here goes.

I LOVE BACON! Especially bacon wrapped bacon deep fried in bacon grease. Extra side of bacon please, and a diet coke to drink, i'm watching my figure.

I read mother fucking books yo! Crap about the universe, quantum physics, and biology that would render a normal persons brain into...bacon grease. See what I did there?

I work hard so I can buy myself awesome shit like a laser that lights shit on fire! (I actually got that for Christmas, but I was going to buy one) I also want one of those robots that cleans my carpet. I'll give it a woman's name because lets be honest, that's what you should be doing! I'm kidding! That's what a cleaning lady is for.

I am a new age geek. Fuck dorks and nerds, a bunch of losers if you ask me, which you will because I am so damn interesting. I will trash talk your little brother on Xbox live into submission as I paint his face with a blue fuzzy grenade. Extra points for ANY women who get that.

Perfect match-
I am VERY busy! That's the reason I have dipped my toes into online dating. If you are a high maintenance, duck face picture taking, can't hang with the guys kind of woman, or if you are a pirate hooker (Long story) Please step to the side to let the awesome chicks by. I will, I repeat, I WILL FUCK WITH YOU! "I like your blouse! My grandmother just picked the same one up yesterday." Bang!

First date-
We could start off with a stroll by the local landfill, make fun of the seagulls because there isn't a fucking ocean in Ohio! Then off to the mall where we will roll a dollar around a piece of poop, place it in public, then yell POOP DOLLAR! as people pick it up. Finally, a karate match between us where I will DECIMATE you with my epic karate chop! At last we have come to the goodnight kiss, which I have already stolen from you earlier in the date because lets be honest, goodnight kisses at the end of a date... awkward! Better to get it out of the way early. If you have the balls, wait gross. If you don't have balls...and think you just might catch my attention, fucking message me already I am busy over here!

I have great success on POF and have tried tons of different profiles. I'm hazy on the to/not do profiles on this website etc. LOL one guy pm'd me calling me a fake etc becaues I had used a profile like this and somehow he found or knew about that profile format (it wasn't SPAM). I typically use my own material but on occasion try something like this. I loaded this and bam not 10 minutes later a decent female wanted to meet me.

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"You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack" Nick Naylor

I also wonder about the business profiles..These are an outrageous..