Flaking (how much do I tolerate?)



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:04 am 
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I've been reading about making personal rules to apply to the women I want to date. One of mine was absolutely no flakes. Then I ran into a problem: it seems that most women are prone to flaking, if not always then in the beginning. How much should I put up with before ignoring them completely? I feel that I may be being a little too strict with it sometimes. What about you guys? Please share your opinion. It would really help me out.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:23 am 
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I tolerate flakes but not more then once in a row. I a girl flakes then ill try and reschedule it but if she does again I move on unless she reschedules. I plan to do something the day she plans so if she doesn't call or something you can say "oh hey I forgot about that". it also gives you the option of flaking.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:40 am 
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there must be a way to reduce the occurence of flaking.in this society we barely have time for anything anymore


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:57 am 
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Quote:
I tolerate flakes but not more then once in a row. I a girl flakes then ill try and reschedule it but if she does again I move on unless she reschedules. I plan to do something the day she plans so if she doesn't call or something you can say "oh hey I forgot about that". it also gives you the option of flaking.
That actually helps a lot man. Thanks.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 1:57 pm 
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Crono brings up some good points. I would add that you should try to maintain a strong frame in your response to her flaking. For example, if she says she can't get together because she has to meet with a study group, send her a text saying, "Hey, I like that deal: you study while I party! :) But if you absolutely must join the party, too, I could meet you on Wednesday to..."


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 2:28 pm 
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I would say you have to judge any flake on a case by case basis. Some girls are genuinely incredibly busy. I had one girl who i dated for a while cancelled our second date three times in a row. I didn't call her for about 2 months after the third cancellation. But as it turns out she was working full time and studying full time so all the cancellations were legit. I've had girls flake once and have just realised that they need to be NEXTED. there are no hard and fast rules here. you need to look at every case individually. you don't know what is going on in their life. if you're a busy guy you might have to re-arrange a date or two. to reduce flakes it helps to have had some good talks on the phone. work out when is a good time to call (ask if you have to), if you get on well on the phone she will want to meet you in person. to judge a flake take everything into account including how sorry she appears to be and how keen she is to reschedule.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:32 pm 
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If a girl wants time with you she'll make it happen. If she wants your time and has to flake she'll take initiative to make it up to you. You shouldn't have to hunt them down. It's desperate. Desperation is not attractive. BE ATTRACTIVE.

If a girl IS interested and flakes, she is fully aware of how she's coming off, and if she cares enough she'll make up for it.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 7:17 pm 
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Yeah it really depends on each case but I'd usually let at least 1 flake go, but make sure she knows she has to make up for it. I often get girls who are always late but after I tell them I won't stand for it they're usually spot on time the next date. Same applies to flaking.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:40 pm 
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Well man. Shit happens. She could actually have a good reason. You gotta feel if you believe her or not. Its called trusting your gut.

And... Dont set a fixed number of flakes. If you are bored with her or if she annoys you too much the forget her. If you still want her then go ahead.

I normally arrange stuff so that I can just say Fuck Her and leave if she chooses to turn up an hour late or not at all. So what, she calls you and wonder where you are. Yeah, you werent there so I went for a burger, Im across the street, come over.

Or you just dont push it if she totally flaked. If she feels that she wanted to flake on you and apologizes later, then she is the one who has to make the next plans. You meet her on your terms man.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:01 pm 
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Me: I have really high standards for the people I allow in my life.
Her: Like what?
Me: Well, for example, if a girl ever flakes on me, I probably won't ever take her seriously.

Cuts flakes in half in seconds :)

Your boy,
870

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