Everybody's seen guys who have people excited to be in their very presence. They have a magnetism and energy about them that draws people to them, especially women. How do I become like that?

Since people tend to disagree on what charisma is, let's go with this definition: the ability to create special popular loyalty or enthusiasm in others for oneself.

That people can inspire this loyalty/enthusiasm in people they barely know is fascinating to me. I mean, I take women home sometimes but I wouldn't say that im particularly charismatic.

You're trying to become a television character. Why?

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These hos ain't loyal

Charisma is all innergame. If you feel good about yourself, accept yourself the way you are, know how to deal with women, then automatically your body language will show this.

Charisma is not a trick you can learn in a few days, it is the result of a good inner game

1. Read good fiction.
2. Talk to women more.
3. Be playful, with shocking honesty.

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Exactly.

You don't need a lot of Charisma. I am a guy with a lot of Charisma. Yeah I'm popular in school. But its not needed. Of course its a good thing, to have. But when I go out clubing or bar, people don't know me.

To be really honest, I don't know what I do, that makes me have a alot of charisma, but I have a tendency to talk to a lot of random people, and I give positive energy, and having fun. I think its because of that. Go to alot of people, say yes to arangement your invited to, and spread out positive energy, and people will sense it.

Not a proffesionel advice. I'm just giving you my opinion.

anthony_pham and Arch, I think the combination here kinda nails it. It probably is inner game. There is more to charisma than body language though. There's some element of saying the right thing in the right way at the right time, strong social skills, but yes also body language.

Like Arch is saying, I think one of the ways to develop inner game is to talk to women and people more, to the point where you get very good at it. You can learn how to be captivating and fun, which I think are couple key elements of charisma.
There are absolutely people like this in real life. I see this when I go out in bars every now and then. Probably once a month, and I go out every weekend. These guys get laid easy, so that's one reason I want to be like that. I would imagine they also network well and probably make more money than less charismatic people.

Rebinho, I'm jealous. I feel like this is how most charismatic people are. They don't totally understand it. One of my ex's was like that.

Unless you are following those guys home, you have no idea whether they get laid or how much money they make. You are just projecting. Guys who are learning do this all the time - they look at other men who aren't like them in some way, and project any success or failure relating to women to those differences. That's how you end up with guys thinking it's all about six pack abs, or showing up in a limo to the club, or being "in state." People need to start being engineers instead of poets about this shit.

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These hos ain't loyal

"Saying the right thing at the right time", is what I call "shocking, playful honesty".

Therefore, you never have to worry about "saying the right thing", because you're just speaking your mind.
and when you say what you're thinking, it's always congruent. You're never the nice guy hiding his intentions with butler behavior or long-winded conversations.


I'm a big believer in a balanced approach, like a great football team, strong in all areas and unbeatable. That approach consists of gym ethic, decent clothes (doesn't have to be GQ), confidence, and playfulness.

Since you are confident and saying what you think, you're never thinking "what should I say or do to impress this woman?" That thought never pops up. however, what you should be thinking is, "does this woman impress me? Is she good enough?".

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Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

I use to be like this, but ever since I've been improving myself I see how silly it is. You shouldn't compare yourself to other people because there will always be someone with a better body, more money, better looks, etc. You start winning when you maximize what you got and understand no one can take it away from you. Ironically, this is when you start developing charisma.

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