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Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games
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Author:  Pilgrim Miester [ Thu May 11, 2017 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Ok first proper post.

Back story
An ex of mine from many years ago after a break we are now good friends and it is strictly platonic and has been this way for a couple years without issue. She has a fella, I respect him, he's a good lad, and I don't like raining on other people's parade when I have no intention of escalating things with her.

In the last few weeks, 4 of us were going to see Fast and Furious 8. The girl who I was seeing at the time couldn't make it, and neither couod her other half. My girl knew the score so no issues but my friend purposely didn't tell her fella she was out with me along. He found out by calling her dad.
Next she invites me on a holiday with her in a caravan with the kids and her fella there. After a bit of thought I suggested she take her sister and her kids as it's more family orientated and I will out. I'd rather do something different.
He then finds out that I got invited without him knowing and location planned etc and booked. That didn't go down well and since then she's been hiding contact with me from him.

I am not playing these games so send her an email saying to keep distance as I don't want to be the reason she splits with him and cause drama.

Few hours after the email, she tags me in a post about a spa break hinting I go with her. She doesn't respond to any serious questions I ask her before I sent that email either.

I can't work this out. Could she be bored with her fella and trying to make him jealous, or see how far she can push him etc, or is she playing games with me as well and testing me?

I am ignoring it all now but as I know the whole family it's not as easy as deleting her from fb. Should I continue ignoring or something else.

Author:  DJ_Z [ Thu May 11, 2017 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

I say ignore.

Author:  JackZero [ Thu May 11, 2017 11:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Quote:
I say ignore.
Yep.

Author:  Pilgrim Miester [ Fri May 12, 2017 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Thanks all. Just what I thought

Author:  puaninja [ Sat May 13, 2017 12:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Put 1, 2 or 15 men in a woman's life and she'll manipulate them all in some way, whether consciously or subconsciously. Take all the grown men away, and she'll turn to her kids and do it to them. As long as you are a source of attention, or a tool that can be used to leverage social interactions, you will be used in that manner without regard to your own personal agenda.

Author:  Pilgrim Miester [ Sun May 14, 2017 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Thanks all.

I am now going to avoid her for good. She's always given off a negative vibe, and as soon as I started ignoring her, within 10 messages on match I scored a date who is a solid 8.5. I have her laughing and giggling and keen to start conversations.

It dawned on me that she always held me back in a physiological way and I put a stop to it.

Hopefully a lay report will appear in a week

Author:  BrandonCodi [ Sun May 14, 2017 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

I'd love to read the lay report. I think you made the correct decision, brother. Considering you know the whole family, could make things weird. I don't know why she doesn't take that into consideration when making choices. That post above speaks a lot of truth.

Women will be manipulative whether it's intentional or not. I can definitely think of some situations I've been in where that has been present. If a girl is overly nice for example and goes to a bar with a guy, not necessarily a guy she's dating but there with, and she gets approached by a different fella; she might engage in conversation with him. Say he asks for her number and she doesn't want to hurt his confidence so she gives it to him, meanwhile the other guy is now getting pissed because "his girl" is getting pick up in front of him. She doesn't even see the wrong in what she's doing.

Not a direct solution to this thread but something that is still relevant nonetheless.

Cheers, brother.

Author:  Pilgrim Miester [ Sun May 14, 2017 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Quote:
I'd love to read the lay report. I think you made the correct decision, brother. Considering you know the whole family, could make things weird. I don't know why she doesn't take that into consideration when making choices. That post above speaks a lot of truth.

Women will be manipulative whether it's intentional or not. I can definitely think of some situations I've been in where that has been present. If a girl is overly nice for example and goes to a bar with a guy, not necessarily a guy she's dating but there with, and she gets approached by a different fella; she might engage in conversation with him. Say he asks for her number and she doesn't want to hurt his confidence so she gives it to him, meanwhile the other guy is now getting pissed because "his girl" is getting pick up in front of him. She doesn't even see the wrong in what she's doing.

Not a direct solution to this thread but something that is still relevant nonetheless.

Cheers, brother.
The family situation is not too bad to be fair. Her brother totally understand where I am coming from, her dad will as well and her mum also understands. I will see the kids on my terms when I am visiting her brother or other family members for a catchup over a cuppa. Nothing stopping her taking the kids round to see me when I am there but that is it. If she choses not to then that's her choice. No skin off my nose.

Author:  neo87 [ Sun May 14, 2017 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Tbh, it sounds to me like you're being overly dramatic. If her bf has an issue with you being invited to family things, that's his issue not yours. It sounds like he's a jealous bf, but that doesnt mean you need to adjust your actions for his issues. If she hides your contact with her, again, thats her business. And now all this "she was holding me back and I have a date now" thing...yeah...you're being way too dramatic. If you dont like her or she's negative...cool..dont hang with her...but not for the silly reason of "her bf is jealous." What they break up over is their business. Did she try to fuck you at the movie? Is she messaging you inappropriate things? So its not this "bad" thing that's going on...bf has issues with you even being invited to things he and other people will be at.

I gotta say this...to the posters who talk about "manipulation" here. Dont go throwing out words because you have a point to make. Do you guys know what manipulation is? You get that hiding something from her bf, is not manipulation right? Her bf getting mad you were invited to a caravan is not manipulation? And posting the spa thing and tagging you, sounds more like her saying f you to her jealous bf. Where the hell is manipulation in this? Lol...its HIDING contact with OP.

NOT manipulation. Again, this isnt anything.

Author:  Pilgrim Miester [ Mon May 15, 2017 12:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Told female friend to leave me be, but now playing games

Thanks all guys. Thread has served its purpose.

Onto better things already and in the right frame of mind

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