Online Dating to Dates



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 Post subject: Online Dating to Dates
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 3:46 pm 
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Thanks to guys for the posts, it helped loads.

I scheduled two dates in one day through online dating. Basically stayed back and went firm, asking questions and controlling the conversations.

Will not repeat the mistakes of letting them control the questions again.

I exited each chat on the high note, telling them i had to run even though I didn't, left them hanging.

Seems to work well. I still think there's room for improvements though, I usually start with a Hi :) and wait for their reply. Replies are often 5-10 mins after they reply and immediately started questions on their profile and semi-ignoring their questions with quick brisk replies.

I usually number close after 4-5 exchanges, telling them i have to run shortly after.

I read awhile back about a false time constraint before my hiatus which I introduced shortly into the conversation. Seems to work well on opening up and getting them to be open to text me.

Not interested in pursuing a text relationship though, having issues getting a definite date set. I'm trying to limit my exchanges to once a week and stay back making dates only text after the warm up.

I'm still new and very open to critique, I'm a open book and just a guy who really needs to turn his game around.

Will take each date as an opportunity to refine my conversation skill set.


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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 5:43 pm 
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This sounds like way too much thinking and way too much work man.

A chat with the girls I like, get their number, CALL them, vibe with them on the phone for 45 mins to an hour, and then invite them over to my home on the day that theyr available, if they're not available at that moment. If the meet up is more than 2 days away, i'll call them up for 30 conversation once more.

A solid phone conversation with have a girl initiatng daily contact with you consistently. Girls do about 80-90% of the initiating once they're into you. Learn to make those connections and tone down the game playing.

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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 7:22 pm 
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My approach to online dating is very simple.

I know that the first conversation is the first impression, thus all the things required of a first impression in person are required through online dating... including creating a spark.

This makes your profile a little more important as that's an impression she gets of you.

It also makes it important that you make sure that you build a bit of connection, creating commonalities with rapport.

Then you get their number. However you have no connection when you are trying to get a girl to meet up, so there isn't much trust. How could there be? Now your expecting things to be done.

You can create a sense of urgency by simply being a busy guy, responding sporadically. For instance I am busy so I sometimes take a bit to respond. I don't respond once a week, I respond sporadically throughout the week as I do lose track of the app all the time.

Eddie Fews gave a nice little structured outline... not really my style as I got a lot of shit going on and don't have time to structure it nor set aside 30 minutes for a phone call at a time people want to be called.

Just like being a good conversationalist in person is a skill, online rapport and conversation is a skill. It requires you being able to do different types of sentences so that they can sense your tone when you talk. It's a lot harder to have them sense your conversation without voice inflection.

Once you build a bit of rapport asking for an in person conversation/dinner is natural... once you ask and they say yes, you set a time and a place. After that continue on the conversation maintaining that rapport all the while.

With my style i've had 2 of the 6 girls I'm talking to give me their number before I ever asked, 2 of them go out of their way to arrange time for a meet up. I'm still barely getting started with 3 of them... so yeah. I feel it's been very productive.

I also use Coffee meets Bagel a free app which is pretty sweet imo.

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PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 1:08 am 
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I'm an open book :)

Hmmm I'll give that conversation via phone call a try. People rarely if ever use phone calls here where I come from these days. Might be interesting to see how that works out!


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PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2017 1:33 am 
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So I managed to get a lot more numbers after building more rapport as mentioned, but i left my number for them to call to make them chase instead of asking them. Surprisingly, it worked! Never in a million years would I expect that to work, its like finding gold.

I have to tread carefully on building too much comfort on the phone though, I still prefer meet ups as all relationships should be, I met a girl on the first date and instantly knew I was not into her. She did 80% of the talking but I ended it on a high note, had not contacted her yet after the date.

The number game volume works well - don't need to focus on one and wondering when she would text. It really helped my center when I knew I had options.

Anyone have the same issues the longer into the game your tastes seems to have changed?


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