From casual to "We should slow down, I like you."



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:20 pm 
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What was supposed to be a casual dating/fuck buddy relationship has become something more. A few days after meeting this HB9 for one long coffee date, (on which she made it somewhat clear she is sexually open and looking for casual), we met up for a dinner and a movie at her house. We made out a couple of times, I tried to escalate to sex, she stopped me both times, I respond by keeping cool and returning to watching the movie. As things are heating up for the 3rd time, I assume we're going to have sex just like the other casual guy she said she was seeing and had slept with the previous week. She stops us from escalating again and says "We should slow down, I like you." Playing it cool, we returned to holding each other as we watched the movie, and later in the evening she mentioned "You don't seem like the type of guy to have sex and then just leave." (Another girl I'm casually seeing said this to me also). I very much like this HB9 and I would actually like to have a serious relationship with her, but I have a couple of questions:

1) I've never come across this line before. Sure, I've come across "This is too fast, we should slow down/This is crazy, we shouldn't." etc, but never "We should slow down, I like you." and was wondering if anyone could shed more light on it. Why do women want to slow things down with men they consider having a serious relationship with? Has anyone else had a similar experience, how did it turn out?

2) That was the last I saw of her, now she is away in France for the holidays for 3 weeks. What do I do to maintain/build attraction and comfort long distance? Do I need to during this 3 week period that she is away? What would be a good strategy?

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:43 pm 
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There is a saying in PUA world, the more you like somebody, the slower you should go.

I think that's what she means.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 6:22 pm 
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What do I do to maintain/build attraction and comfort long distance? Do I need to during this 3 week period that she is away? What would be a good strategy?
Better yourself. Find your path in life.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 7:21 pm 
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What do I do to maintain/build attraction and comfort long distance? Do I need to during this 3 week period that she is away? What would be a good strategy?
Better yourself. Find your path in life.

Oh for fuck's sake man, we don't need this self=improvement bullshit. I'm so tired of everybody trying to be the old dude from the Dos Equis commercial here.

Maxi, it's three weeks away not a fucking twelve month tour in Afghanistan. Honestly you should go meet other girls during this time. Nothing leads to a bigger fuckup than focusing entirely on one girl. And also honestly, you did this to yourself. Coffee dates, movies etc that's what leads to girls claiming they want to go slow. If you'd just met her for a couple nighttime drinks and back to your place you'd be banging the shit out of her.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 10:20 pm 
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Oh for fuck's sake man, we don't need this self=improvement bullshit.
^ Said no successful person, ever.

Pickup is not just having good "game" and talking to a bunch of women. It's not displaying higher value, but being higher value -- it's a lifestyle change. It's a bit of a paradox that leads to massive success with women.

I'm in college and I'm already half-way to my first million; I've got giant goals for my life and our world. Getting shit like the OP's "We should slow down" wouldn't phase me at all because that crap is so insignificant compared to the things I'm doing.

I don't approach girls anymore; I've got so much social proof that they find ways to talk to me. I'm getting approached by girls I've never even seen.

Except I don't give a fuck.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:02 pm 
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A few days after meeting this HB9 for one long coffee date
Coffee dates are for friends.
Quote:
(on which she made it somewhat clear she is sexually open and looking for casual), we met up for a dinner and a movie at her house. We made out a couple of times, I tried to escalate to sex, she stopped me both times, I respond by keeping cool and returning to watching the movie. As things are heating up for the 3rd time, I assume we're going to have sex just like the other casual guy she said she was seeing and had slept with the previous week.
How did you get this information from her? If you asked if she was seeing anyone else, bad move. Very needy, very early on.
Quote:
She stops us from escalating again and says "We should slow down, I like you."
This is bullshit.

Translation: "you're being a bit too needy right now, or I don't think you're a good kisser. I don't want to be cold and kick you out, but I don't want to be physical either. I'm on the fence."

Quote:
1) I've never come across this line before. Sure, I've come across "This is too fast, we should slow down/This is crazy, we shouldn't." etc, but never "We should slow down, I like you." and was wondering if anyone could shed more light on it. Why do women want to slow things down with men they consider having a serious relationship with? Has anyone else had a similar experience, how did it turn out?
It's bullshit. She was down to fuck before you came over, thus the home invite.

Quote:
2) That was the last I saw of her, now she is away in France for the holidays for 3 weeks. What do I do to maintain/build attraction and comfort long distance? Do I need to during this 3 week period that she is away? What would be a good strategy?
Game other women, don't text her.

When she comes back, hit her up with this:

"Hey, I'm headed to Bar XXX at 10 pm to celebrate good news. You're welcome to join."

Then escalate and show strong leadership sexually. Women will often brush back men during the kiss who are not behaving in a dominant way (grabbing hair, the back of the neck ,showing passion, etc).

As men, we often project what we want to happen instead of looking at the reality. Always look at a woman's actions, not her words:

1. She invited you over to fuck.
2. She "tried you out" with a makeout session, then denied you.
3. She has not contacted you since.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 12:40 am 
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Oh for fuck's sake man, we don't need this self=improvement bullshit.
^ Said no successful person, ever.

Pickup is not just having good "game" and talking to a bunch of women. It's not displaying higher value, but being higher value -- it's a lifestyle change. It's a bit of a paradox that leads to massive success with women.

I'm in college and I'm already half-way to my first million; I've got giant goals for my life and our world. Getting shit like the OP's "We should slow down" wouldn't phase me at all because that crap is so insignificant compared to the things I'm doing.

I don't approach girls anymore; I've got so much social proof that they find ways to talk to me. I'm getting approached by girls I've never even seen.

Except I don't give a fuck.
Then you aren't into pickup. You're just into getting laid. No different than hiring hookers, and you guys are why rookies don't actually learn anything on this forum.

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These hos ain't loyal


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 12:46 pm 
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Maxi, it's three weeks away not a fucking twelve month tour in Afghanistan.


Good point. Just wanted to know if its possible for her to lose all/a lot of interest if I didn't contact her these few weeks while she was away.
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Honestly you should go meet other girls during this time. Nothing leads to a bigger fuckup than focusing entirely on one girl.
For sure.

Thanks for the words, Z.

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"The strong did what they could, and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 1:46 pm 
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A few days after meeting this HB9 for one long coffee date
Coffee dates are for friends.
Noted.
Quote:
Quote:
(on which she made it somewhat clear she is sexually open and looking for casual), we met up for a dinner and a movie at her house. We made out a couple of times, I tried to escalate to sex, she stopped me both times, I respond by keeping cool and returning to watching the movie. As things are heating up for the 3rd time, I assume we're going to have sex just like the other casual guy she said she was seeing and had slept with the previous week.
How did you get this information from her? If you asked if she was seeing anyone else, bad move. Very needy, very early on.
I didn't. She briefly complained about him actually and told a funny story. (I try to stay away from neediness as much as possible. Recovering AFC. Getting better, ha)
Quote:
Quote:
She stops us from escalating again and says "We should slow down, I like you."
This is bullshit.

Translation: "you're being a bit too needy right now, or I don't think you're a good kisser. I don't want to be cold and kick you out, but I don't want to be physical either. I'm on the fence."
Not to sound like a twit, but it is definitely not the 2nd one, haha. I know I'm a good kisser. In fact, she mentioned she thought I was a really good kisser (I almost always get that compliment) and how its a nice change. Perhaps the neediness has a little to play on it.
Quote:
Quote:
1) I've never come across this line before. Sure, I've come across "This is too fast, we should slow down/This is crazy, we shouldn't." etc, but never "We should slow down, I like you." and was wondering if anyone could shed more light on it. Why do women want to slow things down with men they consider having a serious relationship with? Has anyone else had a similar experience, how did it turn out?
It's bullshit. She was down to fuck before you came over, thus the home invite.
My thoughts exactly. The way she was dressed, man...lets just say she wanted me to know how fit she was. Which is why the 'lets slow down thing' confused me.

Either 1) She genuinely likes me as potential boyfriend material or 2) She was turned off and letting me down easy. (A little update below on why I think its now the 1st option)
Quote:
Quote:
2) That was the last I saw of her, now she is away in France for the holidays for 3 weeks. What do I do to maintain/build attraction and comfort long distance? Do I need to during this 3 week period that she is away? What would be a good strategy?
Game other women, don't text her.

When she comes back, hit her up with this:

"Hey, I'm headed to Bar XXX at 10 pm to celebrate good news. You're welcome to join."

Then escalate and show strong leadership sexually. Women will often brush back men during the kiss who are not behaving in a dominant way (grabbing hair, the back of the neck ,showing passion, etc).

As men, we often project what we want to happen instead of looking at the reality. Always look at a woman's actions, not her words:

1. She invited you over to fuck.
2. She "tried you out" with a makeout session, then denied you.
3. She has not contacted you since.
Thank you for the words, Arch. You seem to have quite some experience.

Little update: She also messaged me a little while ago from her trip. She initiated and shes showing interest in seeing me again. Not taking her for granted and I'm going to see other girls like you said Arch, already was actually. Looks like things are good for now, boys.

_________________
"The strong did what they could, and the weak suffered what they must." - Thucydides


Last edited by Maxi2 on Sun Dec 18, 2016 3:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 1:50 pm 
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There is a saying in PUA world, the more you like somebody, the slower you should go.

I think that's what she means.
That's what she's showing, yes, but I'm curious on why women in general take it slow with boyfriends when it comes to sex.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 9:01 pm 
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Insecurity + ASD + not yet comfortable enough with partner.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 9:47 pm 
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I didn't. She briefly complained about him actually and told a funny story. (I try to stay away from neediness as much as possible. Recovering AFC. Getting better, ha)
haha, cool.

Quote:
Not to sound like a twit, but it is definitely not the 2nd one, haha. I know I'm a good kisser. In fact, she mentioned she thought I was a really good kisser (I almost always get that compliment) and how its a nice change. Perhaps the neediness has a little to play on it.
Interesting that she stopped you then. Perhaps feeling a built "guilty" with banging another guy last week? Not uncommon though for 9's and 10's. They will have a couple dudes they see off and on at the same time until they find a dominant male then they blow off all the casual guys.

Quote:
My thoughts exactly. The way she was dressed, man...lets just say she wanted me to know how fit she was. Which is why the 'lets slow down thing' confused me.
From what you are clarifying in this post, it sounds like she was "de-slutting" ( in her guilty mind. I don't consider women sluts for enjoying sex).
Quote:
Little update: She also messaged me a little while ago from her trip. She initiated and shes showing interest in seeing me again. Not taking her for granted and I'm going to see other girls like you said Arch, already was actually. Looks like things are good for now, boys.

Nice! That's a very good sign. And nice job on letting her reach out instead of blowing up her phone after the hang out. This shit works.

Don't think of yourself as boyfriend material with this one yet, man. Still focus on her actions, not her words. Women will bang guys they want as boyfriends on the first night, too.

Make sure you don't become her text buddy while she's away. Leave some mystery...like you might "get away". Then next time in person she won't be so hesitant to fuck.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2016 2:36 am 
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Don't think of yourself as boyfriend material with this one yet, man. Still focus on her actions, not her words. Women will bang guys they want as boyfriends on the first night, too.
Make sure you don't become her text buddy while she's away. Leave some mystery...like you might "get away". Then next time in person she won't be so hesitant to fuck.
Wise words, man. Thanks, Arch, I nearly fell into the 'text buddy' trap, almost always did in the total AFC days.

I'm sure I'll post an update when its due on this thread with any results.

Peace.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2016 4:27 am 
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Coffee dates are for friends.
Where would you suggest to take a girl if you were going on an instadate, if not coffee? Personally, I never thought there was a big difference between going for drinks with a girl in a coffee shop or a bar. There's still plenty of opportunity to escalate and to bounce her to your place easily.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2016 5:26 am 
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Do you even go out for coffee and sit down with your girlfriend?

No. You're too busy fucking or drinking and having fun.

Coffee outings are friend zone. Everything about coffee dates is formal and boring: the inoffensive music, the sterile, usually corporate surroundings, the ugly fat old people milling bout, kids jumping round, etc.

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