Dating really passive girl, need help!!



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PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 2:38 am 
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So I've been seeing this girl, she's pretty, we got to know each other through our mutual friends.

at first she's kind of shy, I got her number at the end of that night and I tried to initiate small talk via texts in the next two days since I was away from home, but it didn't go well, she was not very responsive.

So, about 1 week later, I came back and invited her out, and we spent two nights at dinners, movies and etc., and I thought we were getting closer.

But yesterday morning (saturday), which is the day after our last date (friday night), I called her and asked if she wanted to come out and she told me she didn't want to cos she has go back to work on sunday even she's free that day..

With regard to our interaction, she's very passive, and she never texted or called me first, and that really confuses me as if she's not interested.

but on the other hand, when I met her in person, she's polite and well dressed, I also find her playing with her hair a lot, and holds strong eye contacts when we were chatting and etc., and I thought these were given away IOIs, so she should be interested right?

Anyway, the problem now is that, should I call her out again as I'm not very sure if she's interested or just playing hard to get?

I don't like chasing after a really passive girl if she's interested in me as well, so is it better to freeze out to punish her or to become more active and start chasing her?


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 7:45 pm 
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"Freeze outs"(I hate that term fyi) don't work on a girl that you haven't had any sexual contact with. Sure you can wait it out and she may contact you, but the emotional attachment that men use freeze outs for doesn't occur with a girl that isn't all that interested in you in the first place.

This is a simple one really; you just didn't come off sexual enough while you were out on the dates. No where in your post did you indicate that you made any move to show her that you were interested. All you did was talk about how she was giving you " come on to me" signs but you didn't come onto her.


How many times do you go for the kiss on the 1st date? What was her reaction?

How many times did you touch her physically after the initial "hi" and "bye" ?

Girls want to be fucked.. I don't care how nice and sweet they may seem. For someone they are a wild sexual nympho and from my experience the most passive girls are the wildest.

Call her, chop it up, and invite her out again.. Don't text.. call.

Joey

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Last edited by Eddie Fews on Mon Jul 22, 2013 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:47 am 
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hi Joey, thanks for the reply, and I really appreciate that.

I'm from far east, so maybe girls here are a little bit different than girls in your town.

I didn't escalate too much physically, just a bit of playful nudge though, cos I'm worried to scare her away if I do it too early.

I sent her a message yesterday but she didn't reply, so today, instead of calling, i sent one more text cos she might not be able to pickup the phone during work hours, it went something like this:

me: what a great day for hiking~ (she told me it's a company activity, and today is very hot!)

she: we didn't go.(1 min later)

me: it's too bad, I was kinda of hoping you did, haha.

she: you are bad (1 hour later)

me: baby, you are boring, you'd better start entertaining me right now, or i'm gonna leave =) (1 hour later)

she: (no response...)

so, I guess it's time to move on loooooooooooool


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:33 am 
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I don't agree about freeze outs. Freeze outs work with every girl who thought to be your priority and realizes you may move on easily if she doesn't live up to yourexpectations.
In my (limited) experience, freeze outs worked perfectly even with girls I didn't even k-close.

Try to let some days pass by and then throw her a funny text is my advice. Be careful, you have to make it seem that your delay is as non-strategic as possible!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 11:46 am 
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Quote:
I don't agree about freeze outs. Freeze outs work with every girl who thought to be your priority and realizes you may move on easily if she doesn't live up to yourexpectations.
In my (limited) experience, freeze outs worked perfectly even with girls I didn't even k-close.

Try to let some days pass by and then throw her a funny text is my advice. Be careful, you have to make it seem that your delay is as non-strategic as possible!
thanks,

My friends tell me that I should be thick-skinned, chase the girl, treat her like a queen, if she's passive,

but I think I seemed needy to her during the short period of time since we met, so yea, that's probably the best thing I can do.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:05 pm 
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I agree with the other posters, you're being too aggressive with trying to start conversations, get her to come out with you, etc, and not aggressive enough in physically escalating things once you are spending time with this girl.

Try making yourself a little less available. Don't text her for a couple days, and see if she texts you or calls you. And when you do text her, keep it light-hearted and fun, and short since the goal of texting/calling should always be to arrange a real-life meeting. If you're away and the only way you can keep her interested is through text, then do just that, keep her interested. send funny texts, joke around, or one of my personal favorites is to play texting games like truth, picture dare, etc.

Right now she probably sees you as a friend because you're only initiating polite small talk and aren't asserting yourself sexually.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 4:50 pm 
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I don't know if there is anything else I can do to take more control of this situation, I think I will pay attention to other things, and ignore her unless she wants to talk first, and thanks for your inputs guys.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 5:49 pm 
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Quote:
I don't know if there is anything else I can do to take more control of this situation, I think I will pay attention to other things, and ignore her unless she wants to talk first, and thanks for your inputs guys.
Good luck! Hope everything works out, keep us updated man.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:03 pm 
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Freeze outs can be effective but you dont want to use that unless you have exhausted better options first.

With passive girls I suggest you use compliance instead of signs of attraction for pushing the relationship. What I mean by that is have her jump through your reasonable hoops without looking for her feedback. So tell her to meet you at at X time, tell her to come over, tell her to pick up some Twinkies for you. Basically let her comply to your direct requests, if she wont do this then you dont have attraction and let it go. Passive girls often need to be pushed.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:50 am 
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