I usually spout this monologue, but the ending can definitely be improved. I would like suggestions for a much funnier conclusion and ending, any ideas would be much appreciated.

"I was on a first date here in Westfield. I don't know if you've seen it, but there is a sunglasses hut near the exit. So as a joke, we decided to steal some sunglasses. As we were coming out, a plain clothed guy grabbed at her and pulled her back. I immediately reacted and wrestled the guy to the ground. When I held him down, I recognised him and realised that he follows my fitness page on Instagram. We started laughing and I grabbed him up. As we looked to the left to see the girl, she'd dropped the glasses and had ran half way down the bridge. Suffice to say, I never met up with her again."

Girls seem to be very baffled by the ending. I would like to end it much funnier.

Why do you tell this to girls? Is this your DHV story? Thats really tryhard.

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I recognise that the story is raw as hell, that's why I'm asking for advice.

I want to tell a story that relates to a first date, involving protection, humour and taking risks.

Well I'd start by making it even somewhat believable... which it is not. You can do this by selecting an actual story, and not something you've completely made up and that she'll KNOW you're lying about.

Or just act normal and talk to her like a normal person. Without the need to DHV spike yourself.

Add 'my ex was a stripper' into it

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