Help - LMR + Day 3.



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 Post subject: Help - LMR + Day 3.
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:53 pm 
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Hey guys, I need some help so here's the intro:

Last week on monday night I went out to the local pub with my mate and I approached that girl, long story short it went great and I kiss closed her at the end of the night.

Anyways I got her number and I texted her the next day and we both agreed to go out on friday night, I Picked her up from her place at around 10pm and we went to the beach.
We found a really romantic place and we sat there and spoke, after a while inside the conversation I kissed her for like 2 minutes then I told her I am bored and I want a ciggarete (did it to prevent future LMR)
we keep talking for like 2 hours at the beach (i didn't kiss her or anything like that during that time again to prevent LMR) then I told her we should go to somewhere else.

we went to a nice pub I know and we stayed there for like 30 min. we had some drinks and then we went back to my car, when we got the car I told her to get in the backseat door and we both sat there and started to make out, I tried to take her shirt off but she didn't let me so I went to the front seat and told her I want to put some music, when I got back to the back seat I got her shirt and bra off but she didn't let me to take her pants off, although I tried few times.

So first question - How to handle this kind of LMR? she said she won't have sex on the first date and if I want sex I should wait..

Anyways after a few more minutes of us making out in the car I relaised I am not going to fuck her so I told her we should get going..
I drove her home, when we got there we made out a little bit and said goodbye.

The next day I texted her that I hope she had a good time and she didn't answer.
The day after I also called her and she didn't answer.

So here's come the next question: Why would she flake me after such a great first date, I can tell she was very attracted to me. she didn't stop texting me the whole week before the date and the date itself was fucking awesome, non boring convos, she keep laughing on everything I said, also when we got the pub I had massive SP since I knew the workers and some female friends + guys inthere.

Now tbh, I don't give a shit about this girl and my plan was just to fuck her and never speak to her again but now when she flake my calls I kinda want to meet her again lol.

So to summ up:
1. How to prevent such an LMR as I mentioned.
2. Why would she flake me? it dosen't seemed like she was just trying to have a one night stand because then we would had sex and she woudn't tell me I should wait.
3. What to do next? Call her again? (I already texted + called her), or just leave it and hope she will text me ?

thanks :).


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 11:34 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 06, 2012 10:43 pm
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Girls see relationships very differently to guys, a lot of girls feel they want to know someone a lot better before fucking them. From what i can see here it seems like you didn't care about trying to
1. make yourself as desirable as possible, by teasing and suchforth.
2. Make her feel happy while shes with you.

If she barely knows you then you need to at least make her feel like she does and that all about making her comfortable. Its difficult to rush women, you need to make them want to do everything, and then it will be easy.

I'm very new to this and so do not know if that is correct game, but it seems it would work. Please correct me if mistaken.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 11:06 am 
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You have a point in your things but it's not the case at all


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:23 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 7:02 pm
Posts: 144
Quote:
Girls see relationships very differently to guys, a lot of girls feel they want to know someone a lot better before fucking them. From what i can see here it seems like you didn't care about trying to
1. make yourself as desirable as possible, by teasing and suchforth.
2. Make her feel happy while shes with you.

If she barely knows you then you need to at least make her feel like she does and that all about making her comfortable. Its difficult to rush women, you need to make them want to do everything, and then it will be easy.

I'm very new to this and so do not know if that is correct game, but it seems it would work. Please correct me if mistaken.
This guy has the jest of it. You're okay at progressing but it doesn't sound like you know how to handle things properly and smoothly.

And from your response of "its not the case at all," you clearly are not great at reading the situation.

First of all, why would you say you were bored on a date. What girl (or person) wants to hear that the person they're spending time with is bored. You're supposed to be building attraction.

If you were building that attraction properly on the beach, you wouldn't have needed to change venues. You did so because things were getting stale because of your lack of skill so introducing a new place might have "changed things up a bit."

She did seem generally interested in you, thats why you got at least something from this chick. But you were too pushy without building enough attraction and thats why you faced LMR. You could have overcame it if you knew how to handle the situation, but you didn't. Read around, in this situation, you needed to take the responsibility on to yourself, a.k.a. diffuse the "anti-slut defense."

i.e. While you're making out, GO SLOW and say something like "Its going to be alright, I'm not going to do anything you're not comfortable with, and if you are uncomfortable, you let me know." And you foreplay that shit slowly and most times girls will just go with it. Not all girls are going to give it up easily.

So whats there to do from here? If you want this girl, you need to recover, play it cool, build attraction again, and LEARN to take responsibility when the occasion arises.

I would wait a couple more days before texting her with something along the lines of.

"Hey, Hows it going? I know I may have been a little pushy last time, but its rare I feel something like that night and I just had to act on it. Next time, I'll make sure to advance when we're both comfortable. Hear from you soon."

_________________
"That shit cray"

-Hit me up with some Reps if anything I say has helped! Much love.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:17 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:10 pm
Posts: 12
Quote:
Quote:
Girls see relationships very differently to guys, a lot of girls feel they want to know someone a lot better before fucking them. From what i can see here it seems like you didn't care about trying to
1. make yourself as desirable as possible, by teasing and suchforth.
2. Make her feel happy while shes with you.

If she barely knows you then you need to at least make her feel like she does and that all about making her comfortable. Its difficult to rush women, you need to make them want to do everything, and then it will be easy.

I'm very new to this and so do not know if that is correct game, but it seems it would work. Please correct me if mistaken.
This guy has the jest of it. You're okay at progressing but it doesn't sound like you know how to handle things properly and smoothly.

And from your response of "its not the case at all," you clearly are not great at reading the situation.

First of all, why would you say you were bored on a date. What girl (or person) wants to hear that the person they're spending time with is bored. You're supposed to be building attraction.

If you were building that attraction properly on the beach, you wouldn't have needed to change venues. You did so because things were getting stale because of your lack of skill so introducing a new place might have "changed things up a bit."

She did seem generally interested in you, thats why you got at least something from this chick. But you were too pushy without building enough attraction and thats why you faced LMR. You could have overcame it if you knew how to handle the situation, but you didn't. Read around, in this situation, you needed to take the responsibility on to yourself, a.k.a. diffuse the "anti-slut defense."

i.e. While you're making out, GO SLOW and say something like "Its going to be alright, I'm not going to do anything you're not comfortable with, and if you are uncomfortable, you let me know." And you foreplay that shit slowly and most times girls will just go with it. Not all girls are going to give it up easily.

So whats there to do from here? If you want this girl, you need to recover, play it cool, build attraction again, and LEARN to take responsibility when the occasion arises.

I would wait a couple more days before texting her with something along the lines of.

"Hey, Hows it going? I know I may have been a little pushy last time, but its rare I feel something like that night and I just had to act on it. Next time, I'll make sure to advance when we're both comfortable. Hear from you soon."
thanks, I guess I didn't explain myself right becuase again it's not the situation at all, maybe it's what you get from as I wrote it.

When we kissed I actually didn't tell her I am bored I just stopped and told her I want a ciggarete so my bad, I didn't explain myself right.

About the change venues thing, I clearly didn't change venue because there wasn't enough attraction, We been on the beach for like 2 hours and as I said it went great, non silent moments, non boring convos, alot of funny stories and stuff.
The reason why I wanted to change venue is:
A. it's always a good thing to do.
B. that pub is very close to my place. (we ended up fooling in my car but the original plan was to take her to my place and it would be much easier thing to do from the pub).

The reason I told the other guy that it's not the case is because she did had a good time while we been toghter, I was never pushy as you said, and about teasing her and stuff it's part of me anyways and I always do that.

I was not getting LMR because she wasn't attracted enough to me, I was getting it because she dosen't want to have sex on the first date, I didn't mention that both of us are 18, and girls at that age has a different mentality about having sex right away.

About what you said on handling that LMR, This is somthing I will sure try, thanks.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:23 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 7:02 pm
Posts: 144
Sounds like you know what to do. Read up on diffusing ASD and taking responsibility then and you're golden.

_________________
"That shit cray"

-Hit me up with some Reps if anything I say has helped! Much love.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:10 pm
Posts: 12
Quote:
Sounds like you know what to do. Read up on diffusing ASD and taking responsibility then and you're golden.
can you link me to some good stuff to read about it?
thanks bro :)


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