Could use some ideas escalating the kino...



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:34 am 
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Hello all, it's been a while. I'm fairly new and could use a bit of advice from the average person out there.

There is this girl I am fairly certain has some attraction for me. I'm just having a hard time escalating it. I don't really know what to do.

I'm in college. I met her volunteering for food bank. N-closed and texted her the next day. Her responses are really warm. I'm sending her chunks of texts and she is sending just as many chunks back. I text her that we should meet for coffee bw classes, she agrees. We meet,... and I just don't know how to escalate the situation. We just spoke a bunch of fluff for like an hour and a half or something. I just, I feel like there is some very real attraction signs I'm getting, and that my failure on this day2 to escalate the situation and should I continue to do nothing, this window of oppurtunity will close soon.

I feel kino, or a lack of it is a big part in why I'm failing at this. The next time we meet, does anyone know of any kino routines or trust tests that I could apply to get to the next stage in this 'dance' that we are doing? Does anyone have any advice? Any comments on the situation? Pointers and tips?

tl;dr I'm having trouble getting handsy. Help!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:53 am 
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Quote:
I text her that we should meet for coffee bw classes

Coffee dates between classes are no good.

How can you escalate on a coffee date between classes? What is stimulating or ambient about drinking coffee in a bright, corporate-lit environment at 2pm, next to grandpas and grandmas and screaming kids while you're in a time crunch?

This is bullshit game, and I don't know why guys continue to do it. You're cock-blocking yourself, lol.

If a girl is really into you, she'll let you get away with it. But when most sexually experienced and socially valuable women hear "coffee date", they think "he's a pussy" or "this guy isn't good with women".

Oh, there are guys who do coffee dates who are good with women INITIALLY. They talk a good game early on, chat a woman up, good communication over text. And then usually they are bad lovers. Why? Setting up coffee dates shows poor self-awareness to social reality. And this translates to poor self-awareness in bed. And if you suck in bed, you're not going to hook a sexually experienced, strong, independent woman who knows her value.
Quote:
We meet,... and I just don't know how to escalate the situation. We just spoke a bunch of fluff for like an hour and a half or something. I just, I feel like there is some very real attraction signs I'm getting, and that my failure on this day2 to escalate the situation and should I continue to do nothing, this window of oppurtunity will close soon.
Stop making coffee dates.

Quote:
I feel kino, or a lack of it is a big part in why I'm failing at this. The next time we meet, does anyone know of any kino routines or trust tests that I could apply to get to the next stage in this 'dance' that we are doing? Does anyone have any advice? Any comments on the situation? Pointers and tips?

tl;dr I'm having trouble getting handsy. Help!


See, this is another thing that's a widespread myth, IMHO. That there are these eighteen stages of "hand movement" before you go for the kiss, or five levels of KINO from the third dimension, some divine order or process that magically unsnaps a woman's pants button.

No.

You over-complicated it, and you tripped up. Be congruent with your desires, playfully honest, and don't waste your time, or hers.

If, at a half hour into the date your inner voice says "I want to take this woman home", then you smile and say, "let's kick this back to my place." This is what I mean by being congruent.

You don't need to give a reason. Trust me. It's implied.

If she says, "what for?"

Say, "I have this really awesome collection of hand-painted ceramic gnomes I want you to see".

Back to "handsy" on first dates:

Handsy is fucking awkward unless you're bowling, or playing miniature golf. It's bf/gf kino.

Just go for the kiss. A dominant male does not need to play fucking patty-cake with a woman before he goes for what he wants. This is why venue is important. Set up your meets with new women at night, in adult venues like bars or eateries or outdoor cafes or parks. This way the time constraint isn't as harsh, and the atmosphere better suits seduction.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:23 pm 
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You should always try to escalate kino, pushing it and seeing how she reacts. Give her a permission to touch you.

How I'll usually do it - when telling a story, I'll emphasize my point by touching her hand. "I tried to do this and that and you know what... *grab her hand*... It worked!" *let go*" - I'm not talking about actual hand holding, just grab her upper arm. If you're sitting down, having a coffee chances are it will be really easy to do that. Then, when she's talking, be close enough she can do the same. Remember that girls will rarely escalate (if you grabbed her hand don't expect her to hug you). Escalate, and if she seems uncomfortable (actually uncomfortable, not that it is just in your head), de-escalate.

Another safe check I like to do is "unintentionally" touch her leg with my leg and see if she moves it. I have found this to be the easiest check to see if I can escalate.

But definitely, don't do coffee dates between breaks, in school or at work, because that is what coworkers do. You'll be considered nothing more than that and is hard and awkward to break that pattern.

What you can do in your situation, make yourself busy with an interesting errand during that coffee break (pick up photos from your trip to XXX, meet with an old friend, etc.) and suggest she joins you and your friends later that evening when you'll get the drinks.

That will be your change to re frame yourself from "college" to and interesting guy. Have interesting stories prepared that she hasn't heard before (I have a set of stories from my trips, my business ventures, opening a nightclub, stories about getting my friends out of trouble etc.). When she'll see there is more to you than she has seen so far during coffee breaks, that's when you should not forget about the kino ;)


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:02 pm 
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If physical rapport and escalation is your biggest sticking point at the moment, I would recommend checking out the Vin Dicarlo Escalate Ladder. It was written many years ago, and geared towards cold approach (night game), but there's plenty of advice that is relevant to your particular situation.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 9:40 pm 
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1. You meet up for the date.
2. You talk to the girl.
3. You kiss the girl.

There's your fucking escalation ladder.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 3:26 pm 
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Would you be wondering if you should be touching your gf's jeans when you meet her at the coffee shop on a given Wednesday at 10:30am. You'd smooth into her and she'd be loving the shit out of it. She'd want you to escort her to her dorm so you could pull her panties down asap if you're doing it right.

80%+ of guys' problems with women they just met would be solved if they simply behaved toward them the way the woman wants assuming she's into them: Treat them like they're already your g/f, in a socially calibrated manner of course. Aka don't attempt to go to "third base" if you haven't even kino'd yet.


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