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Help me improve please!
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=203202
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Author:  ninjabib [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Help me improve please!

Bit of a continuation of this thread :

general-questions/messed-with-girl-how- ... 02513.html

But not wanting help to get this girl in particular more looking for help with where i went wrong and what i can do to minimise the chances of it happening again.

In the original thread about 4 weeks i met a girl through a mutual friend, we had fun, she told me i was owning the night, king of the party etc, ran upto me numerous times while talking to others to tell me she hated me whilst smiling and laughing etc. Wanted to make my move but one of the other girls in the group told me she had a bf (turns out these girls didnt even know each other!) so i didnt make my move. Added her on FB got chatting a bit over 4 days or so but left it as i thought she had a bf and it just kinda died cos i acted pussy one time over chat listening to my freinds advice, paid her a compliment. The day after i discovered she was single through our mutual friend but left it.

Went out with the same friend again Saturday night just gone and she turned up again (shes from a city 40 miles away) instantly shes back on it, we are busting each others balls, playful, poking, tickling etc bit of wrestling with each other. She then asks me why i stopped messaging her, she then asks me why i paid her a compliment. I just play it dumb and say i have no idea whats shes on about.

I lead her to a corner away from the group of friends we are chatting having fun and then she touches my hands so i grab hers, start holding hands and lifting them higher and slowly walk her backwards towards the wall of the club about to K-close when this other girl from the group fucking cockblocks me (cockblock wants me as a fuckbuddy but im not interested) by asking us both if we want a drink :( We say no but the 3rd party refuses to leave so it all falls apart, we get lost in the club and dont see her again that night.

Next day i jump on facebook and tell her we are going out for drinks and we will have a good time and shes just like "why do you want me to go out for a drink with you, im not saying yes or no but why" then sends a jokey meme saying like "Omg are you obsessed by me" i just ignore it. I don't like her answer, seems like a game player so leaving this one at that. We have not spoke since, i have no yes or no to meeting for drinks.

Where do you guys think i f'd up? I;d say obviously the first time we met ie:- she gave pretty strong signals, asked me if i was single a few times etc but i was told she had a bf and i don't go there. I had no reason to doubt this other girl - lesson learnt. She doesnt know that i thought she had a bf just bad luck i guess.

THis weekend though i feel i did everything right as much as i could, had fun, got touching going, tried to escalate and she seemed very up for it only for a jealous girl to ruin it. Or do you guys think i am misreading signals?

Not asking how to proceed with this chick as such but i dont want to repeat general mistakes where i can help it. I'm very rusty, just out of a 4 year LTR.

Thanks.

Author:  JackZero [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Stop being timid.

Author:  R.C [ Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Quote:
In the original thread about 4 weeks i met a girl through a mutual friend, we had fun, she told me i was owning the night, king of the party etc, ran upto me numerous times while talking to others to tell me she hated me whilst smiling and laughing etc. Wanted to make my move but one of the other girls in the group told me she had a bf (turns out these girls didnt even know each other!) so i didnt make my move. Added her on FB got chatting a bit over 4 days or so but left it as i thought she had a bf and it just kinda died cos i acted pussy one time over chat listening to my freinds advice, paid her a compliment. The day after i discovered she was single through our mutual friend but left it.
I don't understand that mentality. What IF she had a boyfriend? Who cares? You ignored her obvious signs of interest but gave credit to rumor? That what you let guide your actions?
Quote:
Went out with the same friend again Saturday night just gone and she turned up again (shes from a city 40 miles away) instantly shes back on it, we are busting each others balls, playful, poking, tickling etc bit of wrestling with each other. She then asks me why i stopped messaging her, she then asks me why i paid her a compliment. I just play it dumb and say i have no idea whats shes on about.
Still showing obvious interest.
Quote:
I lead her to a corner away from the group of friends we are chatting having fun and then she touches my hands so i grab hers, start holding hands and lifting them higher and slowly walk her backwards towards the wall of the club about to K-close when this other girl from the group fucking cockblocks me (cockblock wants me as a fuckbuddy but im not interested) by asking us both if we want a drink :( We say no but the 3rd party refuses to leave so it all falls apart, we get lost in the club and dont see her again that night.
Yeah, you could've just grabbed her hand and guided her away from the cockblock. Look how well being passive went.

Quote:
Next day i jump on facebook and tell her we are going out for drinks and we will have a good time and shes just like "why do you want me to go out for a drink with you, im not saying yes or no but why" then sends a jokey meme saying like "Omg are you obsessed by me" i just ignore it. I don't like her answer, seems like a game player so leaving this one at that. We have not spoke since, i have no yes or no to meeting for drinks.
Dude you deserve a premium ass kicking. Fucking woman has to drive 40 miles and does so twice, you're inept of making a move and tiptoe around like a giant pussy regardless of her painfully obvious signs, and then SHE'S PLAYING GAMES? She's just trying to figure out why the hell are you not slamming her against a god damn wall already.
Quote:
Where do you guys think i f'd up? I;d say obviously the first time we met ie:- she gave pretty strong signals, asked me if i was single a few times etc but i was told she had a bf and i don't go there. I had no reason to doubt this other girl - lesson learnt. She doesnt know that i thought she had a bf just bad luck i guess.

THis weekend though i feel i did everything right as much as i could, had fun, got touching going, tried to escalate and she seemed very up for it only for a jealous girl to ruin it. Or do you guys think i am misreading signals?

Not asking how to proceed with this chick as such but i dont want to repeat general mistakes where i can help it. I'm very rusty, just out of a 4 year LTR.

Thanks.
Stop blaming your failures on a 'jealous girl'. I get it, cockblocks happen. But like I said, you could've easily grabbed her hand and walk her away. You didn't. You could've easily made a move sooner, you didn't. You could've paid attention to her actions instead of rumor. You didn't.

There's a difference between being rusty and being afraid. The reason you didn't make things happen is not rust, it's fear, like Jack pointed out. Because you obviously did something right to get her all over you.

Basically, you loaded the gun, took you aim and then completely froze when the time for actually pulling the trigger came. That's your fuckup.

Author:  ninjabib [ Wed Apr 12, 2017 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Quote:

I don't understand that mentality. What IF she had a boyfriend? Who cares? You ignored her obvious signs of interest but gave credit to rumor? That what you let guide your actions?

Yeah stupid i know and lesson learnt. I've always said to myself i wouldn't mess around with another guys girl but got to thinking and many dudes wouldn't be that respectful to me so fuck it. I genuinely just thought she had a flirty personality and that was it.

Quote:
Dude you deserve a premium ass kicking. Fucking woman has to drive 40 miles and does so twice, you're inept of making a move and tiptoe around like a giant pussy regardless of her painfully obvious signs, and then SHE'S PLAYING GAMES? She's just trying to figure out why the hell are you not slamming her against a god damn wall already.
Agreed on the whole but i just want to point out she didn't travel the 40 miles to see me either time, the 2nd time was because our mutual friend who lives to close to me asked her out and i didn't know she was going and vice versa. When she was asking me why i paid her a compliment etc i guess i just thought she was setting me up to knock me back
Quote:
Stop blaming your failures on a 'jealous girl'. I get it, cockblocks happen. But like I said, you could've easily grabbed her hand and walk her away. You didn't. You could've easily made a move sooner, you didn't. You could've paid attention to her actions instead of rumor. You didn't.

There's a difference between being rusty and being afraid. The reason you didn't make things happen is not rust, it's fear, like Jack pointed out. Because you obviously did something right to get her all over you.

Basically, you loaded the gun, took you aim and then completely froze when the time for actually pulling the trigger came. That's your fuckup.

Again, hard to disagree. I just thought the 3rd wheel would fuck off/pick pu on the vibe if we stood there awkward but it was the girl i liked that went in the end. I definitely did not take control enough when it came to moving things on. Time to read up and then go practice on how to be more dominant and in control.

Moving onto night shifts now so wont be going out for 2 weeks most likely but got a different girl lined up for dgoing out when i'm back to normality. She goes on holiday for 2 weeks now so it's all good. Hopefully i can seize the day there, i want to seize the day. Maybe i'll bump into this first girl again down the line somewhere too.

Appreciate your help RC in helping me stop being such a pussy, you too Jack Zero!

Author:  R.C [ Thu Apr 13, 2017 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Quote:
Yeah stupid i know and lesson learnt. I've always said to myself i wouldn't mess around with another guys girl but got to thinking and many dudes wouldn't be that respectful to me so fuck it. I genuinely just thought she had a flirty personality and that was it.
I understand that might stem from good intentions but in reality it's highly egocentric. You can't mess with another guys' girl. If she's happy with him and feels fulfilled with the relationship, there is nothing you can do. Nothing.
However, if she's not, then she's already open to the possibility. Your job is to seduce, her job is to put herself in a position of being seduced. If she's doing that, it's by her own choice.
Quote:
Agreed on the whole but i just want to point out she didn't travel the 40 miles to see me either time, the 2nd time was because our mutual friend who lives to close to me asked her out and i didn't know she was going and vice versa. When she was asking me why i paid her a compliment etc i guess i just thought she was setting me up to knock me back
And that's because you didn't assume attraction. An attracted women doesn't lay obstacles in your path, she's rooting for you. She wants you to succeed.
Quote:
Again, hard to disagree. I just thought the 3rd wheel would fuck off/pick pu on the vibe if we stood there awkward but it was the girl i liked that went in the end. I definitely did not take control enough when it came to moving things on. Time to read up and then go practice on how to be more dominant and in control.

Moving onto night shifts now so wont be going out for 2 weeks most likely but got a different girl lined up for dgoing out when i'm back to normality. She goes on holiday for 2 weeks now so it's all good. Hopefully i can seize the day there, i want to seize the day. Maybe i'll bump into this first girl again down the line somewhere too.

Appreciate your help RC in helping me stop being such a pussy, you too Jack Zero!
Just keep in that in mind for future reference. The biggest risk is not making a move, it's not making any move.

Author:  ninjabib [ Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Quote:
I understand that might stem from good intentions but in reality it's highly egocentric. You can't mess with another guys' girl. If she's happy with him and feels fulfilled with the relationship, there is nothing you can do. Nothing.
However, if she's not, then she's already open to the possibility. Your job is to seduce, her job is to put herself in a position of being seduced. If she's doing that, it's by her own choice.
Agreed, need to be more focused on my needs. If she prefers me that's not my fault.
Quote:
And that's because you didn't assume attraction. An attracted women doesn't lay obstacles in your path, she's rooting for you. She wants you to succeed.
Always assume attraction - i like it. Really like it.
Quote:
Just keep in that in mind for future reference. The biggest risk is not making a move, it's not making any move.
Yeah will do thanks. This was my first time being cockblocked. I kinda anticipated the cockblock thats why i moved the girl away from the rest of the group but clingy girl had other plans obviously.

An unrelated question if i may? Would you fuck clingygirl. She is not physically unattractive to me i just dont feel any sexual chemistry towards her but with my dick in her mouth that would change obviously but its there on a plate and i think i need to get a rebound fuck out the way after my ex but i think she would get even more clingy! Then part of me thinks get a new piece of pussy and i'll get my confidence back.

Author:  ninjabib [ Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Quote:
I understand that might stem from good intentions but in reality it's highly egocentric. You can't mess with another guys' girl. If she's happy with him and feels fulfilled with the relationship, there is nothing you can do. Nothing.
However, if she's not, then she's already open to the possibility. Your job is to seduce, her job is to put herself in a position of being seduced. If she's doing that, it's by her own choice.
Agreed, need to be more focused on my needs. If she prefers me that's not my fault.
Quote:
And that's because you didn't assume attraction. An attracted women doesn't lay obstacles in your path, she's rooting for you. She wants you to succeed.
Always assume attraction - i like it. Really like it.
Quote:
Just keep in that in mind for future reference. The biggest risk is not making a move, it's not making any move.
Yeah will do thanks. This was my first time being cockblocked. I kinda anticipated the cockblock thats why i moved the girl away from the rest of the group but clingy girl had other plans obviously.

An unrelated question if i may? Would you fuck clingygirl. She is not physically unattractive to me i just dont feel any sexual chemistry towards her but with my dick in her mouth that would change obviously but its there on a plate and i think i need to get a rebound fuck out the way after my ex but i think she would get even more clingy! part of me thinks get a new piece of pussy and i'll get my confidence back.

Author:  Fzns09 [ Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

There are many super good lessons to learn here. Thanks R.C.

Author:  R.C [ Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Quote:
An unrelated question if i may? Would you fuck clingygirl. She is not physically unattractive to me i just dont feel any sexual chemistry towards her but with my dick in her mouth that would change obviously but its there on a plate and i think i need to get a rebound fuck out the way after my ex but i think she would get even more clingy! part of me thinks get a new piece of pussy and i'll get my confidence back.
Personally I would not. Clingy turns me off, and aside from that it's a first class ticket to drama town.

But more so, you should look for confidence within, not on the outside. Because if gaining it means new pussy, losing it is just as easy.

Author:  ninjabib [ Fri Apr 14, 2017 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me improve please!

Awesome advice. Thanks so much. I will leave it, that's what my head is telling me to do but my penis is saying otherwise. He can wait a lil longer.

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