Is this recoverable?



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 Post subject: Is this recoverable?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2016 11:35 am 
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I had a first date with a girl I met on Tinder and we really hit it off. She came over to my city on a Thursday (which is about a 45min train-ride) and I picked her up at the train station around 19:00. I showed her around town and we went to several different bars and made a nice connection. We ended up kissing heavily during the night, and also at the end of the night when I put her on the train at 3:00. I tried to invite her to my place but she said it was getting too late and she still had a long trip back, so we would do that next time.

At the end we sort of set a date on Friday the next week, where I would visit her, she just wasn't sure if she had to work so she would let me know. The next day I texted her I had a great time and she said she did too. We sent a few messages back and forth, about 1 text a day, and on Wednesday I asked her if she knew yet if she was free from work this Friday. Like we half-agreed, I could come visit her city. She didn't send back a response. I gave her a call on Friday-afternoon but no response, so I let it go.

This Monday-afternoon I sent her a short text saying that the new season of the Blacklist was starting and it made me think of her (we both love that show and on our date had talked about watching it together, I even nicknamed her Lizzy). I didn't want to put a question or anything in and make it seem casual. Still nothing.

I really don't understand what went wrong, and am wondering if this is still recoverable and if so, what should my next move be? Should I not have tried to call her on Friday? And why would she really happily and enthusiastically agree on seeing me again on the first date (Thursday), and even agree on a day (Friday the next week), but then totally stop responding from Tuesday on?


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 Post subject: Re: Is this recoverable?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2016 12:07 pm 
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Whats up Aero,

For starters, you have to stop taking everything with women so personal. There a million reasons why she could've disappeared after the first date. Thinking hard about it and analyzing it will only drive you nuts. You met the girl on tinder. You only saw her one time. Theres nothing here yet. And you seem to be making a big deal out if a situation that you're barely invested in. You have to learn to let go. Maybe she had a boyfriend that she was upset with and she wanted revenge. Maybe her and her ex got back together. Maybe she swiped right on a new guy and he turned out to live closer and she had a stronger chemistry with him. Maybe she was having a bad work week and dating lowered on her list of priorities. This can go on and on.. But the biggest problem here is you're treating her like she's more important than she should be in your life at this point with all the extra calls and text messages. She's beginning to see you as a guy that must not have options with women. Would a man with lots of options be over texting and chasing a tinder girl that he only met one time? A man without options is a man without value. And who wants to continue to date someone without value?

I understand that you got close to the finish line with the girl and wanted to close the deal, but these things happen. With online dating especially. You have to learn to take the bitter with the sweet. Some will be lays, some will be girlfriends, some will tell you they love you and then never talk to you again. The only thing you can control is you and how you respond. Right now you're trying to find a way to "control her" or "manipulate her" into doing what you want her to do so that you can benefit from this situation. You're trying to "take", you've ceased "giving/sharing" so what is in that deal for her? No one wants to be used..Thats the energy you're giving off.

Let her go. I wrote an article about having a move abundant mentality. The mentality of a hot girl.. You can find that here, go give that a read: pua-lounge/topic190620.html

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 Post subject: Re: Is this recoverable?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 3:53 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:14 pm
Posts: 689
Quote:
Whats up Aero,

For starters, you have to stop taking everything with women so personal. There a million reasons why she could've disappeared after the first date. Thinking hard about it and analyzing it will only drive you nuts. You met the girl on tinder. You only saw her one time. Theres nothing here yet. And you seem to be making a big deal out if a situation that you're barely invested in. You have to learn to let go. Maybe she had a boyfriend that she was upset with and she wanted revenge. Maybe her and her ex got back together. Maybe she swiped right on a new guy and he turned out to live closer and she had a stronger chemistry with him. Maybe she was having a bad work week and dating lowered on her list of priorities. This can go on and on.. But the biggest problem here is you're treating her like she's more important than she should be in your life at this point with all the extra calls and text messages. She's beginning to see you as a guy that must not have options with women. Would a man with lots of options be over texting and chasing a tinder girl that he only met one time? A man without options is a man without value. And who wants to continue to date someone without value?

I understand that you got close to the finish line with the girl and wanted to close the deal, but these things happen. With online dating especially. You have to learn to take the bitter with the sweet. Some will be lays, some will be girlfriends, some will tell you they love you and then never talk to you again. The only thing you can control is you and how you respond. Right now you're trying to find a way to "control her" or "manipulate her" into doing what you want her to do so that you can benefit from this situation. You're trying to "take", you've ceased "giving/sharing" so what is in that deal for her? No one wants to be used..Thats the energy you're giving off.

Let her go. I wrote an article about having a move abundant mentality. The mentality of a hot girl.. You can find that here, go give that a read: pua-lounge/topic190620.html
God knows, I've made out with plenty of girls, told them I'd call them, and never bothered.

You can be having fun AT THE MOMENT but be uninterested in anything long term.

You had a level of interest, but not ENOUGH that she wanted to see you again.

Don't worry about it. This WILL happen with some girls. It is what it is.

Don't call, text, or message her at all. IF she does contact you, let her do the heavy lifting. Other than that, assume she simply wasn't interested enough an move on to other girls.


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 Post subject: Re: Is this recoverable?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:33 pm 
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Thanks guys, I appreciate the advice and will do just that and move on. Plenty of girls who want to meet up :-)


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 Post subject: Re: Is this recoverable?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 10:06 pm 
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Many reasons why. One of them being shes from Tinder and probably found another guy on there.

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 Post subject: Re: Is this recoverable?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:17 am 
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You bombed her with text messages and calls. After first date I prefer her to contact me first if she doesn't I contact her in some short reasonable time.

Also, she said she'll let you know and you pushed her so hard she ran away. I suggest moving on.

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