I went out with a girl I met sometime ago for a couple of drinks that Friday, we both had a really good time, things escalated and by the end of the night we were making out, but like really good making out. Anyway as I was leaving she asked me when I was next free so knew she was keen, or so I thought. Truth is I didn't know when I was next free, I have a strange timetable at work and I'm pretty busy with a few other things at the moment so I said I would be in touch.

About a day or so after that I messaged her, first of all just chatting but leading to asking if she was free on Thursday, which she said she wasn't. She suggested meeting during Friday daytime... maybe? We made plans but since then she has cancelled and with no real attempt to rearrange anything. Now I don't doubt that she has more important things to do than hang out with me, she too has a lot on at the moment, I just can't understand why she would change her mind so suddenly about spending time with me.

so I can't decide whether, I'm just being paranoid and she hasn't lost interest, she genuinely is really busy. Or perhaps I came across a little too strong when trying to arrange a second meeting. Or maybe my txt chat is just a bit shit.

If anyone could shed some light on to why this happens or can point me in the direction of some reading I would really appreciate it

Let me guess, you met her online?

The 2nd date is the date when you 'e in good form, the 1st date from my experience from an online/tinder date is make or break. I always have epics dates with makeouts etc but then a lot of them flake due to their own rules that I can not break or get around (maybe she wants a bf? maybe she doesn't see a future, maybe you want a relationship and she doesn't ? _

It's the same as meeting a girl in a bar and having a blast and then she still flakes. If you get the date then you know you are in good form.

My only advice is have better dates, don't get too attached to the outcome. Move her to another bar greatly helps.

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cheers for the advice.

nope, didn't meet her online, I'm not interested in that. In fact I kissed her the first time I met her although that was 5 months ago. I moved away the next day because of a job I had for a long period of time, not really much I could do about that but I think the fact that she was still interested after all that time said a lot.

Yes to better dates, although I try to keep things simple. There is another element here which might help explain things, I am moving away again in about a month for another three months, I know it, she knows it, it isn't going to work out in the long run. Where as I am happy to have fun for a month, and don't get me wrong, I like this girl is it possible that she is protecting herself from being hurt?

Yeah that is a good possibility

Or you can lie your ass off and tell her what she wants to hear

Joke...

or am i ?

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Looks like a complex situation with you moving and so on. If a girl cancels a date the first time (and a lots of them will do), try to make the second one more casual. I would bring up something you would like to go do with her (not a movie or a dinner) but like bowling or something you both might enjoy and make it look casual. Try to get her to imagine how you too will be having some fun together (i usually take them to shisha bars as i actually enjoy chilling out at such places) and then escalate there !

Yeah, it's even more complicated than I've described here although I won't bore you with detail. I like your advice, first time round I said we should catch up properly sometime soon during a FB conversation... she said Friday and that was that, casual. 2nd time round I told her when I was free, asked her if she wanted to do something then I suggested "milkshakes and/or beach", two things I enjoy and assume most others will too. I'm thinking it came across as too much of a date and maybe my intentions were too obvious. That's probably the biggest lesson I've learnt from this situation, just because you've kissed once doesn't mean you're in there no matter what, still got to pay by the rules.

Do you normally slide in ideas for a potential second date whilst on the first one then? I'm guessing that makes things a lot easier when wanting to arrange meeting up again