People do not have a lot of time to get to know you when they are at a social gathering. As such, they use social and cognitive shortcuts, such as looking at their social peers (people they are out with) for the proper way to act, and which people are worth talking to.
However, what some fail to realize is that those who are looking at their social peers for social cues... their peers are usually doing the same thing -- looking around at other people for social cues. This creates a framework called "Pluralistic Ignorance". People just standing around looking at the proper way to act. If you've ever been at a High School Dance, and nobody is dancing, and everyone is just standing around, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
This means that the biggest social cue people have in how to respond to you is not their peers (who have no idea how to act)... it is from you. The way you convey yourself to others plays a huge role in how they perceive you: it's a psychological term called "Self Concept"
http://www.taooftalk.com/home/2011/1/29 ... u-are.html
When you stop caring how other people think about you and break free of the boxes they try to fit you in, you can create any sort of re-invention of yourself, and people you haven't met will defer to it in deciding whether to talk to you or not, for one, huge, glaring reason:
You know yourself better than anyone else in the Room. If you are awkward in public and unsure of yourself, it will glaringly show. Likewise, if you don't care what others think and you decide how to perceive yourself, that will also show through... guess which person is the one people like to talk to more?
_________________
http://www.taooftalk.com |
Tao of Talk |
"Talk Isn't Cheap." -- Got Trouble Opening and Holding a Conversation? Let Me Help You. It's What I Do. Send Me a PM or Visit My Site.