How do you just stop CARING bout what people think of you?



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 7:39 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:38 am
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I'm trying to overcome approach anxiety and every time I go to the grocery store I feel like im going to get judged and laughed at for saying hi to everybody.. the reason why i say grocery store is because I don't have transportation and the only time i go into town is when my mom takes me to the gym or the grocery store..it complicated...anyway is it normal to feel wierd saying hi to everybody at walmart because your afraid you will look wierd?


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:48 am 
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it's perfectly normal for any guy to start off with approach anxiety. the way to get over it is to have a "I DONT GIVE A SHIT' frame of mind. most people think that visualizing that they are going to get a girl's number then they will get it in the end. im suggesting that you do the exact opposite. You're going to go there and you are not going to give a shit about what anyone thinks of you. why do their thoughts of you matter, you're not going to hear them and you're probably not going to see the people again, so there's nothing to worry about.

as you said that you're afraid of coming off as weird, but you have to ask yourself, are you really perceived in that way? as long as you act cool, confident, you speak clearly, and you have open body language then you'll be perceived as a cool guy. some guys have the fear of rejection as the trigger for AA. this affects them alot because they put their emotions too much into the approach and get too hyped up about it. lets say that you approach an HB10 with a "Hi, how are you?", then she says "FUCK OFF". well thats the worst that can happen, just the girl saying those words, you dont have any cuts, bruises and your dick hasnt fallen off lol, that's all you get from a rejection, it doesnt sound too bad does it. you can treat her response as if she's a comedian that has just said a joke, treat it as a source of entertainment.

go out into the street today, practice 'getting rejected', im not joking. every time you do it, you'll become used to it, the anxiety will decrease and you wont care anymore if it happens and then you'll be more calm and focused on your game.

hope that i have helped. happy gaming dude ;-)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:02 am 
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Website: http://taooftalk.com
People do not have a lot of time to get to know you when they are at a social gathering. As such, they use social and cognitive shortcuts, such as looking at their social peers (people they are out with) for the proper way to act, and which people are worth talking to.

However, what some fail to realize is that those who are looking at their social peers for social cues... their peers are usually doing the same thing -- looking around at other people for social cues. This creates a framework called "Pluralistic Ignorance". People just standing around looking at the proper way to act. If you've ever been at a High School Dance, and nobody is dancing, and everyone is just standing around, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

This means that the biggest social cue people have in how to respond to you is not their peers (who have no idea how to act)... it is from you. The way you convey yourself to others plays a huge role in how they perceive you: it's a psychological term called "Self Concept"

http://www.taooftalk.com/home/2011/1/29 ... u-are.html

When you stop caring how other people think about you and break free of the boxes they try to fit you in, you can create any sort of re-invention of yourself, and people you haven't met will defer to it in deciding whether to talk to you or not, for one, huge, glaring reason:

You know yourself better than anyone else in the Room. If you are awkward in public and unsure of yourself, it will glaringly show. Likewise, if you don't care what others think and you decide how to perceive yourself, that will also show through... guess which person is the one people like to talk to more?

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http://www.taooftalk.com | Tao of Talk | "Talk Isn't Cheap." -- Got Trouble Opening and Holding a Conversation? Let Me Help You. It's What I Do. Send Me a PM or Visit My Site.


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