Fine-tuning Profile for POF, criticisms?



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 2:44 am 
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Hey guys, I recently was finally convinced to try plentyoffish.com, and it seems to be doing well for me so far. With that said I'd like to perfect my profile so I can get a better return and ideally get some messages without needing to send them first.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile ... d=19077369

That's my profile right now, recently updated to add a few more interests and add new pictures. I'm hoping to add a really good full-body shot I've got, but I need to find it first. o.0;

Open to suggestions. ^_^

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:35 am 
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Before I say anything, let me preface that this is going to be HARSH.

HOWEVER, please take into consideration that you asked for criticism because you wanted some help (I'm assuming).

That being said, please try not to take any of this personally, I'm just a firm believer in tough love.

Your profile is bad on a lot of levels. I think it was Ross Jeffries that originally said, "Don't bait a hook with food you would like to eat...bait it with food that a fish would like to eat."

Not only are you falling into the "boyfriend resume" trap, but you're not even putting a good foot forward. By BFR (boyfriend resume), I mean that you're trying to sell yourself to a woman, the same way you would try to sell yourself to an employer if you were looking for a job.

"I'm this, I'm that...insert logical reason why you should want to meet me [here]"

Now don't get me wrong. Plenty of guys with BFR's meet up with and go on dates with plenty of women. It happens all the time. Don't let the community start making you think that you have to be a seasoned and thoroughly-trained PUA to do something as natural as talking to, taking home and fucking a woman.

IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. It happens all the time to guys that DON'T have an inside angle like we do. So let's not get hung up on overthinking.

[end rant about community dogma=]

Now I'll get to why I told you this was going to be harsh. Hell, who knows? Maybe you won't take it as hard as I thought, but I thought I would warn you anyway, just in case.

You need to lose the parts about your daughter. Remove that picture of her. Lose the part where you talk about how she lives with Mom but you miss her every day. Not only does it scream PROVIDER, but it also just comes off as weak.

When you present yourself to the online dating pool, you want to come off as a stong, well balanced, happy-go-lucky, MASCULINE MAN.

Your profile is painting you as an absolute chump that women (at least one) use for a sperm donation and walking SPAM.

If you were to talk about your children at all, it should paint you in the light of the leadership position. And I'm sorry to say that you're not.

That's ok though for now.

Your pictures.

Lose the ones with you smiling. I don't know any other way to say this other than you just look like the type of guy that would lose all control of himself around a woman that he was sexually attracted to.

Try some tough guy poses. Try some serious faces. Experiment. Have a friend come over. Play around with some lamps until you've got a good lighting to take pictures with and put on a cool outfit. Take some pictures. Experiment with different expressions and poses. Go on hotornot.com. Check out the section that shows the "hottest guys on hotornot" and see what they're doing in their pictures. Do your best to emulate that.

Video games and work accronyms.

WHAT THE HELL IS WITH GUYS PUTTING THIS SHIT IN THEIR PROFILES???

Again. Please don't take this personally. I really am trying to help you.

But seriously man...why would you attach these OVERT GEEK STIGMAS to yourself right from the beginning? Dude...this shit makes womens' pussies dryer than a Brittish comedian drinking a martini in Phoenix.

Ok so now that I've told you what NOT to do, I'm going to challenge you to rewrite something better. Sorry, but I'm not all about handouts, but I will be more than glad to play the hot and cold game with you. If you come up with something good, I'll tell you when you're getting warm. If you come up with shit, I'll tell you that you're getting cold.

So whatsup man? Wanna play?

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:54 am 
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Appreciate the input, believe it or not, lol.

I guess the tricky part is to come off well without lying/bending the truth. I've got those damned "morals" that keep preventing me from having too much fun, lol. ;)

If you do decide to do the what TO DO part, please bear in mind that concept. I don't lie, never did never will. :P

I'm thinking I may rephrase the daughter part, but I do intend to keep it.

I'm actually planning on getting some better pictures, those are simply the ones I have access to right now. I've been wanting to get some better ones, so long story short I agree.

You kinda have a point about the videogames thing. :P May also rephrase how I refer to work. o.0

Draft Version:

About me, eh? Well first off I'm open-minded, straight forward, fun-loving and I have two priorities in life: Do what's right, and have fun doing it. :)

In my spare time I do a variety of things, from the smaller ones like drawing and fiddling with a Rubix cube to the larger ones like offroading and hanging out with friends. I don't drink very often but when I do I make the most of it, hanging out with friends or making new ones.

I am the proud father of a beautiful 2 year old little girl. I'm also currently working in the patch, it's hard work and it pays well. Once I save up enough I'm considering starting my own business.

With that said I'm a fun-loving guy. I enjoy meeting new people, hanging out, trying new things, pushing the boundaries. :)

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 9:30 pm 
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Hey Rom,

Apologies for taking so long to get back to this but I've been hella busy.

Ok, first things first, good job on the rewrite. It's far from perfect, but it is better. You did pretty good taking care of the first bits that I advised you on, now you need to get rid of anything that talks about your "plans". The thing about that kind of thinking is that it's well...too logical. You're thinking about this too much like a guy. Now I'm not saying that you should fill up your profile with a bunch of flowery poetry or be feminine at all. What I am saying is that you shouldn't expect women to just jump at the chance to get on board with your life plans, especially when they are a work in progress. Make sense?

Deception.

I don't know where you read in my first reply to you that I advised you to lie or deceive anyone. Apparently though, you seemed to read that into what I said, so let me just make it clear now. IT'S NOT COOL TO LIE ABOUT SHIT ON YOUR PROFILE. THAT IS A SUREFIRE WAY TO END A DATE IN 2 MINUTES FLAT. Got that?

Ok, so since all I've been telling you is what not to do and because you're making an effort, I'm going to give you a little what-TO-do.

First thing you need to do is come up with a list of qualities that you find attractive in the woman that's JUST YOUR TYPE. How does she dress? What kind of personality does she have? Is she sweet and shy or is she an outspoken firecracker? Is she family oriented or more career oriented? Stuff like that. Try to think in terms of what VALUES she has.

Once you determine what those values and qualities are, write a paragraph or two describing what kind of woman you're looking for, using your list. It might also be a good idea to include a line or two about what you're NOT looking for and throw that in there too. Put all of this in your About Me section, anywhere you can incorporate it into what you decide to keep from what you already have. It's ok to talk about yourself a little bit.

Hopefully you can see why this is a good idea, but just in case you can't...well...just try it and see what happens. Come back and report how it goes in this thread.

Happy hunting!

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Johnny
www.organicseduction.com


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