I found this on another forum so i unfortunately cant take the credit for it, but it was one of the funniest openers i have seen. I have modified it slightly to fit around the fact i am in the Uk and not the US. Although i have not extensively tested this, its generated some good banter with women on plentyoffish.




Hello, I'm no 6'3" millionaire, you will have to support me. I'm homeless (YES everyone has internet these days, even us). I may not have a million pounds, I am skint, but I have a big heart which money can't buy. I may not be tall, I'm 5'4" with a 1" penis, but I can strap scrap plumbing and car parts to myself to solve both problems. I know I'm not perfect, in fact when my dole gets stopped tomorrow you'll have to buy me cardboard, and a bottle of cider, but my social worker always told me that I was the bestest guy in the world in prison, so you can't just put a price on that.

Anyway how are you?

of course thats a nice way to start conversation, atleast in written form, but thats just because someone who comes up with that exact idea spontaneously is what women want. theres no way anyone could trick a girl to believe he really is that guy. shes going to test you, and that whole monologue will at best stay an interesting memory. it takes more than one paragraph of text before a girl considers to sleep with you.