Barter system: tell me something and take what I offer



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:19 am 
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MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 4:37 pm
Posts: 343
Location: Lorain, OH
"Soo..... I kinda get this vibe you're really not into me and all. Which is cool and all that, I sincerely wish you the best of luck finding whatever you're lookin' for.

However I am curious why?
I only ask why cause I'm really not that good at this: Talking to smart, interesting, and cute girls I meet on the interwebs or in person.

Could you give me a few pointers here? Tell me why you're not interested [if you really aren't] point out a few things I did wrong, things I didn't do that I should be doing, all that jazz.

Thanks you in advance, and again, best of luck to you. :)"

This is what I've been saying on OKCupid and plenty of fish and pretty much anywhere online when I inevitably don't work out. Each time I here something new, occasionally it's some stupid cunt who'll say something like "I'm into hipster types, you know, guys with clean shaven beards, hipster glasses, and clean cut hair." and I think . o O (wow, what a superficial cunt) and then rate her with one star on her profile cause she's got an ugly personality and she's immature.

Then other girls will say "I'm just not into video games and guys who're into that." which I generally think the same thing... . o O (stupid superficial cunt... one star for her).

But better is when you find someone with a genuine answer "You're initial message was really short.", "after we started talking you didn't seem like you were trying to get to know me that well.", etc.. Where I just ask them for the other end of the spectrum and say something like "I wasn't really sure what to say initially. What's an example of something you've heard that you liked?" And they'll tell me. Or "I was trying to get to know you, I just don't know what questions to ask. What questions are good for getting to know someone, I'm not that good with this and a little lost here, thanks in advance for the help." and she tells me a few things to ask.


Despite all this, it's something I discovered recently through trial and error. The initial message I sent out after I failed [when a girl takes too long to respond] gave a few girls the impression I wanted THEM specifically and I was trying to manipulate and/or guilt them into being with me.
"I'm curious.
Why aren't you interested in me?
I'm trying to figure out why I have such poor results with women and would appreciate if you told me what it is about me you're so uninterested in."

One response to this was...

"after this message I have established you are overly needy. I honestly don't remember getting a message from you, however I do get many and to respond to them with utter gusto would be downright insane.
I also maintain the rights to decide who I will and will not contact on this site. That is without needing to give an explanation. If everyone dated the first person who said hi to them we would have no need for sites like this.
Sorry I choose not to serve myself to you on a silver platter, but we run across many people over the course of our lives and only a small diminuiative fraction or of those we would choose as mates. Im just choosing not to choose you."

I had to set her straight and explain that I didn't give a fuck if SHE wasn't into me. That I was simply frustrated that I have poor results and just wanted to learn from my mistakes. I pointed out that my previous message was sent a week ago and blah blah blah, more explaining cause she's stupid and thought I had some ulterior motive and she was setting me straight from my evil manipulative ways.


From that I learned that I have an issue. A lot of guys I know have this same issue... most don't actually. Most suffer from other guys. The issue is that we say what we mean and mean what why say, nothing more, nothing less. Other people, most people, insinuate and mean more. They have ulterior motives. When I say most I mean "the majority of but not all".

So, to avoid being misunderstood it's important to look at your message and what you say for things that might be conveyed [whether intended or not] that are potentially negative.


So, that's what I offer.
Here's what I want.

I don't understand what to say initially as an opening message at all. I read profiles and talk about whatever I found interesting to a girl and get few to no responses.

I still don't understand what questions to ask a girl to get to know her [and I seriously do want to get to know someone and see what they're like.]. What are some questions to ask that're deeper questions? What's an algorithm for asking questions based on the information obtained? I get the idea you want to get a girl to prove herself to you when she mentions something you ask about it as if you aren't so sure yet, but that only gets one so far.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12


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