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Do you want to get rid of AA?
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Author:  Chief [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:41 am ]
Post subject:  Do you want to get rid of AA?
I want you to sit down and imagine this following scenario. Go inside your head right now and imagine this happening with as many vivid details as possible. Read this slowly and deliberately, soaking in as much of it as you can.

You are in line to ride a roller coaster for the first time ever, but you feel absolutely no fear. In fact, you feel nothing at all. You feel like you might as well be sitting down silently and calmly, just staring at a dot on a piece of paper. You are right there in line for the roller coaster but you expect no consequences at all.

You get into the dull gray roller coaster car and you still feel nothing. It's as if you're just going through the motions without feeling a thing. There isn't an ounce of fear in your system. You feel no fear, thrill, nor excitement for the ride to come.

The roller coaster car starts up and takes you through spins and loops, physically lifting your position in space up and down at various speeds. Your emotions, however, are completely unaffected. You still feel like you might as well be sitting down silently and calmly, just staring at a dot on a piece of paper.

The roller coaster car makes a full circle and starts slowing down back where you started. You step off on the car and start walking away to get on with your life. You can't help but to ask yourself, "What the hell was the point of all that?"

Is this how you want your interactions and relationships with women to go?

Or would you rather embrace your Approach Anxiety and just go for it, enjoying the full spectrum of your emotions to savor the many flavors of life?

There can be no yin without the yang. If you wish to gain everything, you must be willing to risk losing everything. Like the exhilarating path of a roller coaster, you'll only go as high as deep as you'll be willing to dive.

Stop being a pussy, man up, and approach her... with or without Approach Anxiety.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:11 am ]
Post subject: 
This post was so great I had to say something. You made such an amazing point Chief and people need to keep it in mind.

If you haven't read my thread on Approach Excitement, then hopefully Chief's post inspires you to do so because he's hit at the essence of why it's so important to consider it 'excitement' rather than 'anxiety'. Not to try and distract you from this thread, but here's a link to my thread that I'm talking about approach-anticipation-excitement-vt35880.html and when you're done reading it you can come back here and appreciate Chief even more! :wink:
Author:  Plethora [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 8:37 am ]
Post subject: 
I thought you were actually taking me through an NLP reframing pattern, before the slap in the face at the end :)

I totally agree with the premise. A lot of the appeal of structured game is that people who use it feel much less anxiety and worry about what to say. I hate it because I love those feelings and the exhilaration that comes with it. 'The Game' should be exiting, not a pre-meditated step-by-step process to scientifically make the woman attracted to you and eventually have sex with you. Like roller coasters, there should be a strong element of fascination. There should be so many twists and turns that once you get off, you want to climb right back on... Ooops, getting ahead of myself...

ps. nice thread hijack Rye :wink:
I've personally used things like diction to alter personal experience ever since getting into NLP. For example I always say things like "that tastes pretty good" or "delicious" when taking shots of 151.
Author:  madals [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Code:
Stop being a pussy, man up,
Every guy here should print that sentence off in big red letters and stick it on the bathroom mirror.
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:48 am ]
Post subject: 
He he!

Agreed!

It is not difficult to do stuff that you are not afraid of. A brave man is scared shitless but will do it anyway.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think this thread would be far more powerful if the AA was relabeled, like Rye does in his thread. Your still presupposing its a negative emotion, which won't give those labeling it as such the tools to over come.

But cool thread, disregarding that.
Yeah Chief, snag 'em with the AA in the topic title and then reframe their minds by using Approach Excitement (AE) in the topic! :wink: :P
Author:  Chief [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
I think this thread would be far more powerful if the AA was relabeled, like Rye does in his thread. Your still presupposing its a negative emotion, which won't give those labeling it as such the tools to over come.

But cool thread, disregarding that.
Yeah Chief, snag 'em with the AA in the topic title and then reframe their minds by using Approach Excitement (AE) in the topic! :wink: :P
My intention is to actually hit a deeper chord by helping people realize that they must welcome negative emotion if they want to ever feel positive emotion, like welcoming ALL emotions like they are welcoming air into their lungs as they breathe.

In short, to SBAP and man up by taking the bad with the good. If men did that, it wouldn't matter if anything was labeled as whatever. They'd just start living and appreciating life for what it is.

"Approach Anxiety" essentially stems from the prediction of negative consequences to come. If they welcome the possibility of such a challenge in their life, the only possible consequences become:
1. Grow, or
2. Succeed

And, IMO, option 1 is far more beneficial. Some people may interpret this Fight-Clubesque philosophy as masochistic, but I see it more like making a financial investment that you can't possibly lose any money in.
Author:  The Heartless Kid [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow chief i couldn't agree more, I actually get scared sometimes before i go on a coaster or approach a girl but i still do it anyways and alot of those times im proud i did that :D
Author:  Lestat [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 11:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Something I learned when I studied A level psychology was how the physical sensations of seemingly opposite emotions; anger and happiness, or anxiety and excitement, are actually the same physiological symptoms. The one thing which changes the 'fear' into 'excitement' is cognition; the brain recieves the input of the stimulus and works out why the feelings are there and what emotion you must be feeling. If you view the anxiety as excitement then you start to look forwards to the approach BECAUSE you feel that way but you don't get to feel that way unless you're about to approach.

I sometimes use a routine involving this principle.

Peace.
Author:  R.G. [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 12:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Great thread, great advice. I have a similar mindset towards life in general; embrace the failures (although there is no such thing as a failure) for they make the victories sweeter.

I thought I rarely get AA anymore though had some today - went out with my mates from hip hop just to have fun, and met some 9's. The first one at the cinema, was about to approach, then her husband/bf came. Second one at the chippy, opened her, left her for a bit, was about to come back and take it to the close (we were in a very small open shop at 11pm) then her bf, some very mean looking fella came and put his arm around her. I kind of deliberately kept checking her out in front of him haha, he looked like he was going to kill me. If I didn't have that touch of AA, I would have been sarging her whilst he came in...not good...

Tyler Durden has a great analogy very similar to this concept, and he uses it for state and for AA - the plane/manual analogy. Can't be assed to explain it.
Author:  Shrewd [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
hehe.. I love it. great work.

I can think of more than a few analogies between approaching and roller coasters, there are the slower parts and the sudden picking up speed... you get it ;)
Author:  V1V [ Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Its gotta be said chief, I love your threads. Nice. :D
Author:  imnotghetto [ Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
I love the last line. This actually helped me a lot :D ty chief
Author:  Chief [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Thread moved to Social Shyness & Anxiety section
Author:  jhoffa [ Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Awesome, Chief! I have been aiming to sarge to a point where I don't get AA anymore, but what you say is true. AE is the way to put it. Man Up
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