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Mental repetition. Is your answer. You've thought yourself into this situation and now you're going to have to think yourself out of it. I always say, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions your actions become your character and your character becomes your destiny. Thought creates the emotion and emotion creates the fuel for taking action.
You'll change this situation the same way actors get themselves into character. Repeating and convincing their own mind that they are the guy in the script over and over until they believe it. It could take anywhere for 3 months to a year depending on how dedicated to the process you are. Think yourself out. You can start saying, " I am a strong sociable confident guy that feels completely comfortable approaching women. "
Completely disagree, telling someone who is fairly neurotic to maintain their neurosis is not a good idea.
The emphasis should not be on thought, thinking does not help you. The biggest illusion people have is their obsessive thinking is somehow beneficial to them.
@tomhw: O.K, so you want lessen your anxiety around girls. The most obvious way is to spend more time around them (forget all this pick up crap initially).
If you take stimulants (caffeine, nicotine) cut back and you'll see subsequent a lessening of anxiety.
Meditation/ mindfulness will lessen the neurosis, making you more relaxed generally.
That is it. When you become more skilled then start adding more stuff.