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Severe social anxiety help needed https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=177321 |
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Author: | Andy-g555 [ Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:30 am ] |
Post subject: | Severe social anxiety help needed |
Hi, I have hit rock bottom. Im in a ski resort and i cant socialise because of whats going on in my head. I go out with good intentions but as soon as i enter the pub and club i let the environment get to me and i withdraw into my own head straight away. I end up aborting and going home within the hour. One person said to me.... why cant you pull. all the girls think your hot and one of the hottest guys in the company and you have good chat... but it just stops! i run dry within a minuite and walk away. I get this dark feeling of fear as soon as i enter the pub and it cripples me. Now im reduced to just sitting in my room when everyone is out. i wonder sometimes weather its because i have read to much about pick up and watched to many videos of people picking up women on youtube and i have formed these beliefs about what women want and somehow i have convinced myself that i am not that guy. this is got me into a depressed state and i need to get out of it and face the fear. I want to talk to people who have felt a similar way and overcome it. andy |
Author: | amox777 [ Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:18 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
I've been there before dude, |
Author: | Andy-g555 [ Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:56 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
cheers dude. i did some reading yesterday about introverts and extrovert. I think all my reading has hinted at forcing yourself to be an extrovert. but the best thing for me to do is to accept im an introvert and learn to use that to my advantage. |
Author: | Andrew786 [ Fri Apr 04, 2014 8:55 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
Are there any girls you sort of know there that you could hang around with to warm up? |
Author: | meggisonj [ Wed Apr 16, 2014 8:35 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj7r_goEz-o Copy, paste, go, try. |
Author: | Compass782 [ Wed Apr 16, 2014 10:22 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
Hello Andy, The Short Answer If you want the quick answer,its all in your head, and yes reading too much + thinking too much= Paralysis. and watch this video its Neil Strauss making a good point about inner self esteem, and self respect above all else. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGPo-3BQ ... 8VT8N0QyPA The Long Answer I'm actually going to do a post about this after I'm done reading the Game. But basically The Game has evolved, what do I mean?. Well it used to be about tricks, and sets to get the girl, but this way is lifeless and eats your soul because your self worth,your validation of success is coming from someone else. You need to respect yourself= respect from others. If you have any additional questions please feel free to PM me (this is my hobby), and good luck with the process man!. Sincerely, Compass |
Author: | Andy-g555 [ Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
I have done some work and watched some RSD material and I was on fire the other night. I read about power of introverts too. im nowhere near as bad as i was socially. i can get rejected and keep going. i can open confidently and then fall flat on my arse later but i have got it in my mind now that this is the harsh bit. soon il get better and better . i could do with stopping the humilation of goin in confident and then running out of stuff. im ok with touching and the claw of glory lol. i wana sarge with some of you guys. im in mallorca for the summer so if yas thinkin of a holiday with some other sargers il sort u out |
Author: | ex-pua-bruno [ Wed Apr 06, 2016 5:49 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
Quote: Hi,
Hey Andy!I have hit rock bottom. Im in a ski resort and i cant socialise because of whats going on in my head. I go out with good intentions but as soon as i enter the pub and club i let the environment get to me and i withdraw into my own head straight away. I end up aborting and going home within the hour. One person said to me.... why cant you pull. all the girls think your hot and one of the hottest guys in the company and you have good chat... but it just stops! i run dry within a minuite and walk away. I get this dark feeling of fear as soon as i enter the pub and it cripples me. Now im reduced to just sitting in my room when everyone is out. i wonder sometimes weather its because i have read to much about pick up and watched to many videos of people picking up women on youtube and i have formed these beliefs about what women want and somehow i have convinced myself that i am not that guy. this is got me into a depressed state and i need to get out of it and face the fear. I want to talk to people who have felt a similar way and overcome it. andy You're not alone. Your situation of hitting your rock bottom reminds me of mine when I almost got so insane that I thought I was going to completely lose my whole self and not only my mental health. Your main problem is that going out to just pick up random women seems not to be part of your true passions, because if it was part of your true passions, you'd feel so much at ease about doing it that you'd do it as effortlessly as 1-2-3. First things first. There're two important steps that you should take in order to start getting your life back to the right path of reaching your true happiness and your inner peace not only around meeting women but also in your whole life: 1. You need to immediately stop doing everything that makes you feel under pressure or feel forced into doing it, because chances are that what you've been busy with so far in your life are not the things that you really and truly love and enjoy. 2. You need to invest some time and effort in pinpointing your true passions in life, because without living your true passions you will definitely stay being extremely unhappy and anxious. As for identifying your true passions, I'd warmly recommend that you read the bestselling book "The Passion Test: The Effortless Path To Discovering Your Life Purpose" (by Chris and Janet Attwood) that hugely enlightened me to the experience of my own breakthrough on the same matter. When it comes to knowing what you need to change and why you need to change it in order to stop being stuck in your anxiety and constantly feeling under pressure with regards to both improving your relationships with women and reaching your overall true happiness in your every day life, I'm now going to try to inspire you to start thinking in the right direction of getting there as soon as possible. A good way for me to inspire you to start thinking in the right direction is to share with you one of my favorite Bruce Lee's quotes that says: "We do not become, we simply are." Chances are that what initially pushed you into that frustrating anxiety around approaching and picking up random women are most likely the following two things: a) trying very hard to become somebody who you are not while desperately trying to adopt and live by the model of behavior that doesn't really suit your true personality, and b) getting seduced into believing that picking up an endless number of women just to have sex with them is really something that you could call part of your true happiness or passion, while in fact, this very activity is nothing but part of a pure obsession that you don't truly enjoy and that in the first place you've subconsciously got forced to believe that you should enjoy no matter what, because somebody taught you that this is the way of how you become that ideal alpha man. What I'm trying to point out to you here is that like many other guys including myself who ended up in the pickup arts community mainly because our self esteem got badly hurt sometime during our early age and all we're now trying to do is just lift it up or fix it through gaining a kind of sexual gratification based on sleeping with as many women as possible in our lifetime, you seem to be stuck in exactly the same kind of situation. Before I go on telling you a little bit of my story, let me ask you a simple question. Have you ever asked yourself that important "Do I really enjoy it?" question when trying to attract and pick up women? Asking myself this question was a huge light bulb moment in my life, because it helped me realize that everything I was doing in the area of attracting and picking up women for years was purely the result of just acting under the pressure - the unnecessary pressure of constantly forcing myself into doing what I didn't really love and enjoy at all. What made me keep forcing myself to boldly approach random women just to pick them up as my sexual objects was both my initial belief that doing it was part of my true passion and also my adopted pickup arts conditioning that was constantly pushing me into my sexual advances with random women just for the sake of not feeling guilty of missing out on any pickup opportunities when I get back home later. Guess what. I was wrong when trying to identify my true passion. All my sexual advances that I was constantly forcing myself into were a pure obsession that I now like to call my false passion. My pickup and sex obsession started mainly as the outcome of dating related peer pressure from my childhood. I got stuck in this obsession for two reasons: a) I initially didn't fit in the social circles of my peers because I didn't really like most of their behaviors, and b) my inner resistance toward the peer pressure grew so much that I gradually got myself into thinking of creating my own international playboy lifestyle surrounded by the most beautiful women that I'd have lots of fun and sex with for the rest of my life. As a result, my pickup and sex obsession got me stuck in a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of the two most common men's mental disorders known as borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. Now here's an important thing that I'd really like you to understand. The situation where you feel anxious and reserved about approaching random women is actually not a bad thing. Let me explain. Your approach anxiety is like your guardian angel protecting you from getting stuck in the kind of obsession I told you about a minute ago. It's there to protect you from getting in the bad habit of constantly feeling under pressure of having to necessarily approach and pick up random women wherever you go. It's also there to protect you from being fed up with and feeling guilty of missing out on the opportunities to approach and pick up women. Here're two reasons why your approach anxiety is your best friend and why you should not try to beat it or overcome it in any way: 1) Again, your approach anxiety is there to save you from getting trapped in the situation that you wouldn't naturally feel comfortable with and wouldn't really enjoy it in a long run. By the way, I'm saying "in a long run" because most of us when we get stuck in chasing an obsession, we're seduced to believe that what we're doing is really something that we fully love and enjoy doing. 2) Trying to beat your approach anxiety by getting in the habit of boldly approaching as many random women in a day as possible is not only a form of validation seeking but also something that will push you into an endless out-of-control, self destructive and compulsive sexual behaviors that are characteristic of the behaviors of guys who suffer from borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. By the way, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got involved in the pickup community just to learn the game while never thinking of any mental health dangers as the result of doing it. Today I'm proud to say that I have a solid knowledge about the two most common men's mental heath disorders that come purely as the outcome of practising the pua game: borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. As you can guess, I got into the trouble of learning about these mental disorders because my severe approach anxiety (that I'd never ever experienced before) was getting worse and worse and making me feel so distressed even at the times I was about to just take a short trip to my local supermarket to buy something that I really felt I was not only losing my mental health but also losing my whole self at such a fast speed that was out of my control. In short, my one year long mental health educational journey got me to learn the 3 main causes of all my pains and struggles linked with being involved in the game: a) the first thing that got me in the habit of constantly pushing myself to boldly approach random women in different social situations was my approach anxiety, because my approach anxiety subconsciously became my main motivational trigger that was making me boldly approach random women especially in high-risk social situations. The more approach anxiety I felt, the more encouraged and motivated I was to approach a random woman no matter what kind of situation she was in and who she was potentially with at the time. b) the second thing that got me in the same unhealthy habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach any random woman that I was sexually attracted to was an abnormal sense of entitlement. I later realized that I'd absorbed this sense of entitlement and got it to become part of my personality through the process of learning the game since most pua trainers often teach guys to feel entitled to freely approach any woman they like. As the result of my mental health research, I learned that one of the main behavioral traits of the guys who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is exactly the same kind of unhealthy sense of entitlement when boldly approaching random women anywhere they go. c) the self-destructive habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach random women in dangerous, high-risk situations is one of the main behavioral traits of sociopaths and the guys who suffer from borderline personality disorder. In short, the most common symptom of the men suffering from borderline personality disorder is boldly engaging in dangerous life situations. In terms of dating and picking up women, this refers to any kind of out-of-control, compulsive sexual behavior where a man often stupidly exposes himself to an unnecessary risk or danger of getting harmed in one way or another, because he starts to feel guilty if he doesn't take the challenge of getting himself involved in such situation. By the way, what I've just shared with you are also the symptoms of sexual addiction. So, this is exactly how my initial pickup and sex obsession turned into a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. And, here's the conclusion I got to after I finally got myself out of this whole trouble. I got stuck in the vicious circle of anxiety-driven, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors around meeting women for years purely because of my childhood's hurt self-esteem that I desperately wanted to lift up by sleeping with as many women in my entire lifetime as possible just to be able to defiantly show off to my peers how sexually powerful and successful with women I was. The bottom line is this: You're very likely to end up both being constantly unhappy with yourself and getting addicted to doing various unnecessary things that you don't really love and enjoy when you don't follow and live your true passions which are the things that you actually love and enjoy. Once you start living closely aligned with your true passions, you'll end up waking up every morning super excited and fulfilled while having both that important clarity of what your next steps are and a clear vision of your dream success. As a result, your desired inner peace will naturally fall into place. Hope you find this post enlightening and helpful. Bruno |
Author: | constant learner [ Sun Apr 17, 2016 9:26 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Severe social anxiety help needed |
change the place that you approach girls you have to play this game where you feel more comfortable at first before moving on to the arena don't try this at home, but at least try it at a place that you feel more comfortable |
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