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How did you, personally, overcome AA? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=162472 |
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Author: | ex-pua-bruno [ Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: How did you, personally, overcome AA? |
Quote: I know, I know, to overcome you just need to approach, right? But how?
Hey JayBo!I'm fine talking to people in social situations and I'm confident when first meeting new people, again in social situations such as a party. However, when it comes to women on the street, I just freeze up and make excuses for myself. I feel like I overthink what I'm going to say and then pussy out. I've heard about the three second rule but whenever I see a girl and walkover, I just have nothing to say, realise this and don't even say 'hi'. The thing is, I'm confident in myself, I know I'm above average in the looks department and I'm good at being sociable in social situations, my friends have told me people often ask about me after I've met them for the first time at a party, I just want to transfer this confidence into day/street game. It's because I don't 'try' in social situation, whereas on the street, I know the material is canned and I feel deceptive. However, if I go over without any canned material, I just have nothing to say. Anyone got any tips for a newbie? I can definitely relate to you because I've already gone through all that shit myself. Your main problem comes from the fact that you're constantly forcing yourself into doing something that you don't truly love and enjoy. And, the reason you start feeling that anxiety comes exactly from the very same fact. If you did truly love it and enjoy it, you'd feel so much at ease that you'd do it as effortlessly as 1-2-3. And, here's an extremely important thing for you to be aware of. If you don't stop forcing yourself into doing what you don't truly enjoy and what constantly makes you feel anxious and under pressure, you'll most likely get stuck in sexual addiction with the symptoms of two most common personality disorders among men who boldly approach and pick up random women. I'll tell you more about how I ended up getting stuck in these personality disorders later in this post. What I'm going to do next is to explain to you where your real problem is coming from and why you should never try to beat your approach anxiety because your approach anxiety is actually your best friend that's there to protect you and your overall mental health. Your biggest issue is that picking up random women is most likely not part of your true passions, because if it was part of your true passions, as I've said earlier, you'd feel so much at ease about doing it that you'd do it effortlessly. First things first. There're two important steps that you should take in order to start getting your life back to the right path of reaching your true happiness and your inner peace not only around meeting women but also in your whole life: 1. You need to immediately stop doing everything that makes you feel under pressure or feel forced into doing it, because chances are that what you've been busy with so far in your life are not the things that you really and truly love and enjoy. 2. You need to invest some time and effort in pinpointing your true passions in life, because without living your true passions you will definitely stay being extremely unhappy and anxious. As for identifying your true passions, I'd warmly recommend that you read the bestselling book "The Passion Test: The Effortless Path To Discovering Your Life Purpose" (by Chris and Janet Attwood) that hugely enlightened me to the experience of my own breakthrough on the same matter. When it comes to knowing what you need to change and why you need to change it in order to stop being stuck in your anxiety and constantly feeling under pressure with regards to both improving your relationships with women and reaching your overall true happiness in your every day life, I'm now going to try to inspire you to start thinking in the right direction of getting there as soon as possible. A good way for me to inspire you to start thinking in the right direction is to share with you one of my favorite Bruce Lee's quotes that says: "We do not become, we simply are." Chances are that what initially pushed you into that frustrating anxiety around approaching and picking up random women are most likely the following two things: a) trying very hard to become somebody who you are not while desperately trying to adopt and live by the model of behavior that doesn't really suit your true personality, and b) getting seduced into believing that picking up an endless number of women just to have sex with them is really something that you could call part of your true happiness or passion, while in fact, this very activity is nothing but part of a pure obsession that you don't truly enjoy and that in the first place you've subconsciously got forced to believe that you should enjoy no matter what, because somebody taught you that this is the way of how you become that ideal alpha man. What I'm trying to point out to you here is that like many other guys including myself who ended up in the pickup arts community mainly because our self esteem got badly hurt sometime during our early age and all we're now trying to do is just lift it up or fix it through gaining a kind of sexual gratification based on sleeping with as many women as possible in our lifetime, you seem to be stuck in exactly the same kind of situation. Before I go on telling you a little bit of my story, let me ask you a simple question. Have you ever asked yourself that important "Do I really enjoy it?" question when trying to attract and pick up women? Asking myself this question was a huge light bulb moment in my life, because it helped me realize that everything I was doing in the area of attracting and picking up women for years was purely the result of just acting under the pressure - the unnecessary pressure of constantly forcing myself into doing what I didn't really love and enjoy at all. What made me keep forcing myself to boldly approach random women just to pick them up as my sexual objects was both my initial belief that doing it was part of my true passion and also my adopted pickup arts conditioning that was constantly pushing me into my sexual advances with random women just for the sake of not feeling guilty of missing out on any pickup opportunities when I get back home later. Guess what. I was wrong when trying to identify my true passion. All my sexual advances that I was constantly forcing myself into were a pure obsession that I now like to call my false passion. My pickup and sex obsession started mainly as the outcome of dating related peer pressure from my childhood. I got stuck in this obsession for two reasons: a) I initially didn't fit in the social circles of my peers because I didn't really like most of their behaviors, and b) my inner resistance toward the peer pressure grew so much that I gradually got myself into thinking of creating my own international playboy lifestyle surrounded by the most beautiful women that I'd have lots of fun and sex with for the rest of my life. As a result, my pickup and sex obsession got me stuck in a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of the two most common men's mental disorders known as borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. Now here's an important thing that I'd really like you to understand. The situation where you feel anxious and reserved about approaching random women is actually not a bad thing. Let me explain. Your approach anxiety is like your guardian angel protecting you from getting stuck in the kind of obsession I told you about a minute ago. It's there to protect you from getting in the bad habit of constantly feeling under pressure of having to necessarily approach and pick up random women wherever you go. It's also there to protect you from being fed up with and feeling guilty of missing out on the opportunities to approach and pick up women. Here're two reasons why your approach anxiety is your best friend and why you should not try to beat it or overcome it in any way: 1) Again, your approach anxiety is there to save you from getting trapped in the situation that you wouldn't naturally feel comfortable with and wouldn't really enjoy it in a long run. By the way, I'm saying "in a long run" because most of us when we get stuck in chasing an obsession, we're seduced to believe that what we're doing is really something that we fully love and enjoy doing. 2) Trying to beat your approach anxiety by getting in the habit of boldly approaching as many random women in a day as possible is not only a form of validation seeking but also something that will push you into an endless out-of-control, self destructive and compulsive sexual behaviors that are characteristic of the behaviors of guys who suffer from borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. By the way, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got involved in the pickup community just to learn the game while never thinking of any mental health dangers as the result of doing it. Today I'm proud to say that I have a solid knowledge about the two most common men's mental heath disorders that come purely as the outcome of practising the pua game: borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. As you can guess, I got into the trouble of learning about these mental disorders because my severe approach anxiety (that I'd never ever experienced before) was getting worse and worse and making me feel so distressed even at the times I was about to just take a short trip to my local supermarket to buy something that I really felt I was not only losing my mental health but also losing my whole self at such a fast speed that was out of my control. In short, my one year long mental health educational journey got me to learn the 3 main causes of all my pains and struggles linked with being involved in the game: a) the first thing that got me in the habit of constantly pushing myself to boldly approach random women in different social situations was my approach anxiety, because my approach anxiety subconsciously became my main motivational trigger that was making me boldly approach random women especially in high-risk social situations. The more approach anxiety I felt, the more encouraged and motivated I was to approach a random woman no matter what kind of situation she was in and who she was potentially with at the time. b) the second thing that got me in the same unhealthy habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach any random woman that I was sexually attracted to was an abnormal sense of entitlement. I later realized that I'd absorbed this sense of entitlement and got it to become part of my personality through the process of learning the game since most pua trainers often teach guys to feel entitled to freely approach any woman they like. As the result of my mental health research, I learned that one of the main behavioral traits of the guys who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is exactly the same kind of unhealthy sense of entitlement when boldly approaching random women anywhere they go. c) the self-destructive habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach random women in dangerous, high-risk situations is one of the main behavioral traits of sociopaths and the guys who suffer from borderline personality disorder. In short, the most common symptom of the men suffering from borderline personality disorder is boldly engaging in dangerous life situations. In terms of dating and picking up women, this refers to any kind of out-of-control, compulsive sexual behavior where a man often stupidly exposes himself to an unnecessary risk or danger of getting harmed in one way or another, because he starts to feel guilty if he doesn't take the challenge of getting himself involved in such situation. By the way, what I've just shared with you are also the symptoms of sexual addiction. So, this is exactly how my initial pickup and sex obsession turned into a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. And, here's the conclusion I got to after I finally got myself out of this whole trouble. I got stuck in the vicious circle of anxiety-driven, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors around meeting women for years purely because of my childhood's hurt self-esteem that I desperately wanted to lift up by sleeping with as many women in my entire lifetime as possible just to be able to defiantly show off to my peers how sexually powerful and successful with women I was. The bottom line is this: You're very likely to end up both being constantly unhappy with yourself and getting addicted to doing various unnecessary things that you don't really love and enjoy when you don't follow and live your true passions which are the things that you actually love and enjoy. Once you start living closely aligned with your true passions, you'll end up waking up every morning super excited and fulfilled while having both that important clarity of what your next steps are and a clear vision of your dream success. As a result, your desired inner peace will naturally fall into place. Hope you find this post enlightening and helpful. Bruno |
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