STEP 1. Learn
learn the Pete Method BEFORE you are broken up with. It's best to see the break up coming and decide to commit to the method no matter what happens. Sticking it through till the end can prove difficult as those crazy ex's just love to push buttons.
STEP 2. The initial break up.
So she's broken up with you? Now first off. She won't say, "we are breaking up". She will say something like. "I need some time." You'll know because of how you will feel. The first thing to think of is.... "I know the Pete Method"
You basically have to act like you would imagine how Obama would handle a break up. Maintain good contemplative body posture. As though it's a complete shock but you are holding together and have a curiosity about what is playing out.
Don't be tempted to say "I was thinking the exact same thing". You might offend her and actually overdo the whole thing.
Have a normal peaceful communication conversation with her.
DON'T CRY! (try not to at least lol)
DON'T TELL HER YOU LOVE HER!
DON'T BEG FOR HER BACK!
KEEP YOUR COOL!
What you do is ask questions that will trigger her to justify herself to you.
"Is this really how you feel?"
"How long have you felt this way?"
"do you think the relationship is salvageable."
"Where do you want to go from here?"
I really must stress that you are curious. Not pissed and accusing. And not too many questions. Just enough that it's as though you are processing what has happened. Any questions that you ask that trigger a reaction in her other than justification, i.e she gets angry, you should immediately lift a hand and stop her from speaking. Say "I understand" then ask another question. You are trying to keep the frame that you are both adults and open communication is ok. You have to keep her calm by remaining calm yourself and leading the interaction. If she gets pissed and leaves. Either you did it wrong, asked the wrong question or you don't want her back anyway she's a head case, but it's fine anyway the method still may work.
Eventually what you want to do is after she has justified herself to you. Ask her a question such as...
"Are you happier this way?"
Hopefully she will answer with a simple yes.
This is where the method begins. You do a state change. As though you are done contemplating. You say "Ok" in agreeance with her "If you are happier this way then this is the right thing to do."
If she has mentioned another guy. Same deal. "If he makes you happy then I must be a gentleman and allow you to be happy."
If you love her and don't want to take my advice about not telling her how you feel. This is the only time it is acceptable to slip it into conversation.
"If you love something... set it free"
Get up and leave.
STEP 3. The freeze out
This is the hardest part. Do not call. Or text. Or email. Or hang out outside her house. NOTHING. If there is another guy involved in Pete's words "Get that shit out of your head. It doesn't even exist. You know her, you have the history with her, he's just some guy". What you are waiting for is a phone call. If she calls you the same day as the break up, that doesn't count. You reiterate your agreeance with her and let her go. I suggest you avoid email/text at all cost. If you have facebook. Put as your status, 'no access to facebook or email, call the cell' that way if she emails/texts you ect, you can simply ignore it and claim you never received it. Hopefully you have a cell phone because this method works best with a cell.
My question to Pete was "but what if she doesn't call?"
He said: "She will call, trust me!"
from experience SHE WILL CALL!!!
STEP 4. The first phone call.
Let it ring once or twice. so you're not seeming like you're hanging out by your phone. Miss the first phone call if you are daring but I've never tried that. Hopefully you are in a loud place, public noises, music, GIRLS ect. Act super happy, smile. Women can hear smiles through your voice, trust me on that one. Tell her the most amazing thing happened to you and that you are busy and that you will call her later. If she asks you what happened say "One thing after another, it's awesome, I'll tell you later." She will agree, trust me.
STEP 5. You call her.
Wait a while before calling her, how long is up to you but make her wait, a little. A few hours at least. Act super happy again. Ask her what she wanted when she called. Listen to her scramble for a reason because she was checking up on you to see how you felt. She will probably try to divert attention and will probably ask what you are so happy about. Now is your chance to tell her a DHV story You are basically gaming her all over again. Try and friend zone her. don't say it, just imply it through your actions. That way you can establish another phone call, a meeting ect.
STEP 6. Game her all over again, make it fun.
Keep her guessing about your intentions. Try and re-spark the feelings that attracted her to you to begin with. Try to get her chasing you.
Don't ask her back out.
Don't mention the relationship.
If she starts to mention the relationship. Tell her you might consider it except the trust has been broken. Get her to qualify herself to you. Women get addicted to this feeling because it has the excitement and air of a new relationship, a challenge but also the emotional investment of long term relationship. She might go so far as to beg for you back. Make her work for it. Give her compliance tests.
STEP 7. Invite her over
Get her to come to your house. If she wants to talk about a relationship, get her to come over in person. If she wants to be friends. Invite her over. Pretend she is a new girl and you are gaming her all over again.
STEP 8. Seduce her and treat her like the hoe she is.
^ enough said.
STEP 9. Don't go back out with her. treat her like your sex slave and enjoy.
I had something of a similar level happen to me a few weeks back with the girl I had been dating for a couple of months. I knew with her there was no sex outside a relationship, but it felt like a relationship was building up, and I really enjoyed spending time with her, so I seemed to be in a good situation. I even invited her to come down for my brother's birthday with 2 other couples on the 24th July.
A few weeks ago I had a couple of mates from uni come to visit, (including this girl, as she is also mates with them), and when she arrived (a 2 hour drive for her!), I could instantly tell she was no longer attracted to me. She acted funny all week, wanting to be somewhere else, and the only explanation I could think of was that she had got back together with her ex. It drove me nuts, but I didn't show it. On the last night, she was asleep next to me and I really wanted to find out whether my prediction was right, so I checked her phone (I know its bad, but I had to know, and now it doesn't matter). Sure enough, her inbox was full of shit from her ex, and her responding. Fair enough, she's gone for the guy she already had the emotional link with.
Now it was just me and her at home and she was leaving, and this is when I jokngly asked "will I ever see you again?" in a kind of playful manner. And she said of course, and that she still wants to come up for my brother's birthday, even though she only wants to be friends, but she would have to check her plans. Obviously, I thought she wouldn't be up for it, so I said that was cool and she could still come down as a friend. We left it at that and I knew I would freeze her out. She'd get bored of her ex and miss me. Texted a few times the few days after she left a couple of weeks ago, and we even spoke on the phone. She was going to let me know what her plans were. She had the last bit of contact with me and I never replied. Perfect timing with the freeze out, as I have demonstrated that I am unphased that she wants to just be friends. I NEVER TOLD HER I KNEW ABOUT HER TEXTING HER EX, as this would fuck things up, and I do value her at worst as a friend. The moment she had left me and gone home I was gutted. I didn't know what to do with myself. Living in the countryside is hard. I made sure this only lasted that afternoon. Since then I have kept myself busy and met lots of other girls, making the freeze-out second-nature.
Anyway, when it came to the 24th I was in town sorting out some stuff, and having heard nothing from her for the last 8 days she texted me, annoyed that I hadn't confirmed plans for her coming down, accusing me of being shallow and only having one intention when it came to her. Obviously just to provoke a reaction. I called back straightaway and she didn't pick up, so I dealt with this by texting that I only got half of the text and could she send it again? (This was actually true, but now I realise it could always be used if a girl ignores your call back!) So she sent it again. What pissed me off was that she thought I just wanted a fuck (I wouldn't have dated her for so long if thats all I wanted). She said she was glad things didn't work out as I am clearly shallow....I actually really liked her.
Having frozen her out, I had to carry on being apathetic. I wasn't going to try calling her again. I considered facebook messaging her, but after speaking to mate he gave me some advice that texting back is the best option (it gives a clearer message that you're over her, rather than sending a long facebook email). So the goals of my text were:
i) keep in my unphased state of mind. ("Oh I assumed that you had plans anyway, which is cool. I'm not going now until the weekend anyway")
ii) let her know I really liked her. ("You obviously have no idea how much I liked you and how much I missed you the day you left")
iii) let her know I've moved on she has ruined her chances ("It's frustrating you burnt your bridges because I appeared to be shallow.") - hopefully this also shows she was wrong about me being shallow, without me having to justify it.
iv) To get feedback ("I thought you just wanted friendship, so what have I done to deserve this text?")
Two days later and still no reply from her, but I know she will be frustrated by this. She is the girl who wants what she can't have and doesn't want what she can have. Hence, her getting back with her ex when she found he was seeing someone else.
The freeze out continues and I either hear nothing from my new "friend" or I see her in freshers week anyway, having spent the whole summer having the time of my life, improving myself and meeting girls.
The point is that the best thing you can do is focus on yourself. Don't give a shit about them.
...I think I hurt her feelings really bad by saying I agree with the breakup.
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