I run a "few" tests to check if a girl is worth investing in and is ready for a serious LTR/is relationship material. Dunno, maybe this will help somebody.
These tests do not improve your relationship with the girl, in fact, it can be detrimental! It simply ensures that you aren't entering a serious relationship doomed to certain failure. Be AFC for these exercises, do not try and sugar-coat it with your PUA sweet talk, you want to see if when you are at your worse, she would still be there for you. Sometimes we lose our grip on an evidence-based and objective-view of the girl in question; this test fulfils that purpose before we end up
too deep in something we regret!
Be warned, if it turns out that your girl isn't relationship material, these tests could easily drive her away!
Bare essential characteristics all healthy, successful relationships have in common:
Mutual respect
Trust
Commitment
Good communication
Flexibility
Bare minimum essential qualities in a LTR-material girl:
Giving/caring nature
Reasonable confidence, self-esteem
Integrity
Characteristics being assessed:
Level of respect for you, integrity: choose a day where you know she won't be out doing stuff. Text her all day and be a little AFC on purpose - most straightforward way is to ask for validation basically! Stuff like "ugh I look horrible today, what do you think?" or "do you mind if I meet some friends today?". Then, that night, you spontaneously ring her at a reasonable time.
Pass:
- Picks up the phone and makes an effort to maintain the conversation, doesn't flake.
- Rings you back/texts you enquiring as to why you rang same night.
Fail:
- Anything less such as texting you the next day with a crummy excuse!
Giving/caring nature, level of respect for you: having arranged a meeting, ask her on the morning if she could pick up something from town for you that costs around £5 e.g. a movie. Make sure she has to go out of her way (be reasonable) to get it. Don't mention anything about paying her for it unless she asks.
Pass:
- Does what you ask without a fuss.
- Does what you ask after you tell her you will pay her for it.
Fail:
- Doesn't do it, fail her no matter what the reason she gives you.
Level of commitment, flexibility: tell her that you have had a horrible day and you'd really like her to come do _______ (replace blank with either something that you know she doesn't enjoy/she has never done) with you and that it would really cheer you up. If she asks if you could do something else, explain that this is the only thing you want to do right now.
Pass:
- She does it, doesn't sulk and makes an effort to cheer you up.
- She explains why she can't do it that day, but suggests alternative plans without prompting and/or tries to cheer you up another way.
Fail:
- Doesn't do one of the above.
Level of respect for you, commitment, confidence, communication skills: ask her once to organize a meal sometime, at home or out, during a week, when you know she isn't busy, where you can meet some of her friends. Make sure she knows it's important. Do not prompt her/remind her about it - let her decide where/when and do not take the lead.
Pass:
- She organizes it, informs you about the arrangements and it happens.
Fail:
- It doesn't happen, doesn't matter what the reason is, she "forgot" or "had no money" are not good enough reasons!
If she passes all of these tests then you are on to a potential winner! If she fails ONE then she's borderline, be very very careful about entering a serious relationship with this girl. If she fails MORE THAN ONE then she is not ready for a serious relationship with you/isn't relationship material! Do not rationalize her excuses, it is her flaking you. Either stay casual if you can handle it, or get out if you feel oneitis setting in or you are losing frame control.
|