ASK Brad-: Your resident Real Social Dynamics Instructor



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 11:24 pm 
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Hey guys, thought I could offer some value here on the M<a href="">PUA Forum</a>.

I spend most my time on RSDNation.com but am happy to answer any questions you guys might have.

Throw them up!!!

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Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 11:46 pm 
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Hey Brad- Glad have you spend time answering questions here.

Do you have any goals in mind like releasing your own books/DVD's any time soon through RSD?

8)

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"And yay God said to Abraham, taketh thy herb and with fire consume it, for it is the dankest of dank. Seriously Abe, you gotta try this shit. I'm baked off my ass right now" - Luke 4:20


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 11:50 pm 
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I just finished up February's Mastermind disc, so I'll be out on that soon. As for other projects, the only thing that "might" be in the works is a Transformations 2 DVD/CD set with Me, Alex, Ryan, Nathan and Tyler.

That isn't certain though, but I do plan on releasing something. With all the other products on the table right now, it's probably at least a year away.

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Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:12 am 
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Dear Brad-,

Is it pronounced Brad-Dash, Braddish, or Brad-Minus? Also, what made you start your journey into the Game?

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:25 am 
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Quote:
Dear Brad-,

Is it pronounced Brad-Dash, Braddish, or Brad-Minus? Also, what made you start your journey into the Game?
Haha, I wish it was more witty than just Brad... But I would consider it a dash.

Here is my bio that is being released in the upcoming RSDNation.com 2.0
Quote:
I’ve had this weird predilection for hooking up with girls in the oddest of places. Alleys, car hoods, parking garages, they’re all fair game.

I think once you reach a certain level, you find new ways to stay motivated. For me, it’s been trying to place myself in the weirdest logistical situations and still make it happen. Just building more reference points so if I see something I want, the training just takes over.

How did I get to this point?

Hard work and great mentors. It’s an approach that I am familiar with. A year and a half ago I was using this same method for a different goal, one where my life would have headed in the completely opposite direction.

I had been slaving for 7 years, publishing scientific articles, and obtaining a Masters degree to try and get into medical school. Concurrently, I was planning to travel 5 hours and enroll in a school close to where my girlfriend was attending Law School.

We were high school sweethearts, she was my only girlfriend, and we had been together for almost eight years. We were about to take the next big step and move in together. What else could you ask for? We were quickly becoming the quintessential American family.

But this weird feeling kept creeping into the back of my mind. I knew the relationship wasn’t going to last. Was she the one?

She was beautiful, smart, intelligent, and came from a solid background. Where was I supposed to meet another girl like that?

But that first semester apart proved too much. We parted ways amicably, and I dove into the single world wondering, “How the hell am I going to meet another girl?”

Luckily I found the community as the relationship was dwindling, and started devouring any advice I could find.

Soon enough, I met another girl. But confusing my past experiences with the new material I was reading resulted in a disastrous relationship. I wanted the best of both worlds, a full time girlfriend, and the variety of girls I had always dreamed of.

I was still living in total scarcity. After a few months on and off, I finally broke it off and moved to the city with a close friend to start working on this skillset in earnest. Storming the nightlife scene with a flurry of cold approaches, mostly alcohol induced, we went out 50 of the first 60 nights.

I was also writing about my experiences on RSDNation.com. New sticking points were surfacing fast, and with the help of more advanced guys on the forum, I was able to grow my skillset quickly.

The next big boost to my game came after watching Transformations. I realized I wasn’t a closer. With this new mindset I went to a friend’s wedding and ended up pulling some girl into the hallway, stealing a bottle of wine, and sneaking away to drink and makeout with her in the corner. I tried to move things to her hotel room, but she lost the key. So I pulled her to my car instead.

Mmmmm, my first exposure with token resistance. If only I knew then that “We aren’t having sex tonight.” means “We are having sex tonight.”

It was a massive boost to my confidence either way. But I was still hitting a brick wall. No matter how hard I tried, I still had massive approach anxiety and was afraid to pull the trigger. Also, relying on booze to approach was resulting in more money being spent on alcohol per month than rent.

One night, after another adventure of binge drinking and choding about trying to talk to girls, I made the best decision of my life. I decided to take a bootcamp with Real Social Dynamics.

Under the pretense of attending a Biotech Seminar, I drove off to Chicago for what would be one of the most formative experiences of my life.

November 9th, 2007.

Meeting up at the Westin hotel, I instantly recognized the RSD crew. There was Stuart L, with long spiky highlighted hair, Alex~ sporting a pink insignia t-shirt and bleach blonde hair, and Derek with long hair like a main and white Ed Hardy blazer with a silver tiger logo on the back. Little did I know that these three would become some of my closest friends over the next few months.

Deep Identity Level Change… Check.

I was a boy before bootcamp, and a man after. There were many concepts and experiences that helped in the evolution, but the biggest epiphany was that I just needed to give MYSELF permission. I remember Alex~’s words…

“Dude, at some point you need to just identify with being good at this. Stop trying to LEARN. You already ARE successful. If you want a girlfriend, you can. If you want 10, that’s probably not out of your reach either.”

It was all I needed.

I had been dating a few girls off and on prior to bootcamp. After program, that ballooned out to 7. A month or two later I started working on bathroom pulls. The first night trying, I pulled one girl into the bathroom at a private party, and another into the ladies room at the nightclub.

I was getting massive success. But soon enough, a new sticking point. I freaked out. Started getting approach anxiety again. This time it was for a different reason. I was identifying as someone who was “successful with women”, and afraid to challenge that identity.

Massive ego trip.

My solution was to drop most of the girls I was dating and get back in the field. I did hold on to two, both highly successful, blonde, fit, high self esteem, beautiful girls. One started taking up more time than the other, and slowly became my girlfriend.

This lasted for about two months, and I WAS HAPPY. A relationship is so much healthier when it isn’t coming from a place of scarcity. The craziest part was that I was MORE compatible with her than my old girlfriend. Why had I wasted so many years of my life scared to get out of that relationship?!

But this was short lived, haulted by another epiphany-laden weekend at the RSD NYC Superconference.

In New York I roomed with Derek. We had winged once or twice since my bootcamp, but we still didn’t know each other very well. Over the course of that weekend something clicked though, the result of great content during seminar, and the nostalgia of hearing Alex~’s Aussie voice again. I had another internal shift, which culminated in just OWNing the Hotel Gansevoort with Derek.

I decided to undergo another 30-day challenge for the month of June. It started off on a random Sunday, where I met another one of my biggest influences, Derek’s wing Brian.

The night was another huge learning experience where I realized I wasn’t taking responsibility for my actions, I was still afraid to pull the trigger and LEAD. I just accepted whatever was coming my way, letting the girl lead the interaction. It was also memorable because I almost succeeded in the “hat trick” i.e. 3 girls in one night.

Next was another round of bootcamps with Alex~, this time as an assistant. It was two weekends of program pulling girls with both Derek and Alex~, and two weeks of Alex crashing at my house. Gaining wisdom from both of them, I was getting more consistent, building a rock solid inner game, and vastly expanding my sense of entitlement.

Shortly thereafter was the LA Superconference. More glory, as I pulled a stunner and her friend with Alex~ to their hotel room in Hermosa Beach. Alex~ had his girl in the shower, while my adventure ended on the asphalt roof of the hotel.

The following week Jeffy was in town for the Jeffy Freedom Tour. After the seminar, we proceeded to wreak alcohol-induced havoc throughout the city for two nights with Derek and Stuart.

All this contact and winging with the best in the game was rubbing off. My confidence was through the roof and my consistency was on the rise.

But after all this traveling, my social circle had fallen apart, and I lost contact with most of the girls I had been dating. So I spent the next two months rebuilding my social circle.

Soon enough I was back at it, going out with a core group of friends, and dating 3-4 girls. A few weeks later I assisted on Alex~’s last US bootcamp. Great program, students all pulled, we pulled, +2 for my confidence.

The following Wednesday I orchestrated my first threesome. Confidence +2 ... I was mastering physical game, and my self-esteem skyrocketed.

But I wanted more.

I had been hearing stories of Derek and Brian doing legendary things in Las Vegas. 7 girls in 7 nights, followed by 5 girls in 5 nights. The late night hotel staff even knew who they were strictly based on their ability to pull. This is the type of environment I needed to immerse myself into, and see how my game measured up.

The first memory I have of that weekend was attending the grand opening of the club Lavo in the Palazzo. There were celebrities and beautiful women everywhere. But I couldn’t get anywhere with these girls. My natural physical nonsensical game was getting me to open, but not much beyond that.

We still ended up pulling some Mexican cuties back to the hotel, but my confidence was dwindling. A new sticking point was uncovered. My verbal game sucked.

My style is very much rooted in my belief/sense of entitlement, physicality, body language, and tonality. But the words coming out of my mouth didn’t mean much. That was great to a point. But to reach that next level, I needed to build the “million dollar mouthpiece.”

Later that week I hooked up with two different girls. The hotel staff remembered my name too after jumping out of the passenger seat of some girl’s Ford Mustang at 2AM. The other girl was an Israeli, with a story that could only take place in Las Vegas.

Luckily foreigners take a big cut in gambling taxes. We went to the Bellagio after meeting at the club, and when her sister won $1500 dollars at the slot machine, she put it in my name and paid me $100 dollars to preempt a tax fee. One hundred dollars richer, I took my girl up to her room while the sister continued gambling.

All in all, between the three of us, we pulled over 15 girls back to the hotel, and I made massive improvements in my verbal game.

The next weekend, I assisted on another program with Ryan, Papa, and Derek. I must have made some sort of impression with Papa, because he asked me to travel to LA and celebrate Tyler’s birthday with him, and be a part of his first LA bootcamp.

So, even though I was broke, traveling constantly off of my credit card, I had to take the opportunity to meet Tyler. The months of work with the best in the world all culminated in that trip to LA. The bootcamp went great, and my game was in top-notch form.

A week later I was selling everything I owned and packing my suitcase, preparing for the Real Social Dynamics Instructor Training Program. Exactly one year after my bootcamp.

As I write this from the Marriot Hotel in Amsterdam I wonder, what lies ahead?

One year. Imagine the next…

The lessons learned are that surrounding yourself with the right people, being open-minded, staying positive, and TAKING ACTION gets you far.

Put in the effort and anything is possible. Now it’s my job to show YOU what is possible. It’s not a matter of if, but when…

Are you ready?

_________________
Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:55 am 
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Hey man, good stuff. Thanks.

So how do you handle a girl saying "we're not having sex"? Or dealing with LMR in general.

any pointers?

thanks.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:15 am 
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OY MINGER (I know you're not Alex but you're still RSD and it's funny :P)

How much importance do you personally place on sexual framing? How early do you clearly implement a sexual frame? What are some ways you sexually frame an interaction and how would one effectively develop a habit of sexual framing, assuming that you value sexual framing in your game?

Thanks for doing this, Brad-. I'm glad to see a RSD representative here on our forum.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 7:04 pm 
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You are the shit.

Just wanted to say that :lol:

When/Where will your nearest workshop be?

Do you find it necessary to build deep rapport with a target during day game?

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:40 pm 
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Hey man, good stuff. Thanks.

So how do you handle a girl saying "we're not having sex"? Or dealing with LMR in general.

any pointers?

thanks.
Yeah, what I didn't realize is that whenever a girl says "We're not having sex tonight" she really means, "I just thought about having sex with you, and I need you to take all responsibility so I don't look like a slut."

Just agree with her, or turn it into a joke. The one I have been using lately is

ME: Oh, actually I'm a virgin considering priesthood. I walk with Jesus.

The key is to not be reactive, make her realize that you don't value the sex that highly.

Also, the best way to deal with LMR is to take care of it early. Things like qualifying the girl early on, getting onto sexual topics early, and constantly LEADing all help for later down the line.

_________________
Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:50 pm 
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OY MINGER (I know you're not Alex but you're still RSD and it's funny :P)

How much importance do you personally place on sexual framing? How early do you clearly implement a sexual frame? What are some ways you sexually frame an interaction and how would one effectively develop a habit of sexual framing, assuming that you value sexual framing in your game?

Thanks for doing this, Brad-. I'm glad to see a RSD representative here on our forum.
Hello Chief,

I am not exactly sure what you mean by a sexual frame, but I do ALWAYS try to spin the conversation onto something sexual.

When I was starting out, I wasn't comfortable just bringing up sexual topics, so I found ways around this. The three ways that worked best were:

Sexual Misinterpretation
Push and Pull
Shock and Awe

Nowadays, I am much more comfortable talking about sex, but I still use the misinterpretation a lot.

Here's some examples:

ME: You are such a brat!
HB: Woah, you need to calm down.
ME: Haha, you know I'm just joking...
HB: Haha, yeah, I'm just trying to give you a hard time.
ME: Congratulations, I'm hard.

Another one:
ME: You look German.
HB: No, I was born in Italy.
ME: Did you just say finger me?!

And then the last one I use is the good ole' "that's what she said"

Two girls standing by an ATM, this was my opener...

HB: Just try to stick it in again.
ME: That's what she said.

Haha, it's part self amusement, and also puts a sexual spin on things. From there I found it's a lot easier to riff on sexual topics, and now it is on her mind too. And the fact that you were LEADing and brought it up first makes it alright for her to start talking about sex too and not appear as a slut.

Also, I want to add that the majority of the sexual charge in my conversations comes from getting physical, RIGHT AWAY.

There is just no way to talk your way into a girl's pants, you gotta get PHSYICAL!!!

_________________
Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:01 pm 
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You are the shit.

Just wanted to say that :lol:

When/Where will your nearest workshop be?

Do you find it necessary to build deep rapport with a target during day game?
Haha, thanks dude...

Here's a schedule of my upcoming bootcamps:

January 16-18, 2009: Chicago, US
January 23-25, 2009: Chicago, US
January 30-February 1, 2009: Zagreb, Croatia
February 6-8: Amsterdam, Netherlands
February 13-15: Dublin, Ireland
February 20-22: Warsaw, Poland
February 27-March 1: Budapest, Hungary

Here's the website if you are interested... https://www.realsocialdynamics.com/shop.asp?Group=1

As for building rapport during day game:

I find that the key measure to whether my day time set goes well or not is if I find a way to LEAD the girl.

At night time, this is accomplished by getting physical and the like, but it still needs to be done during the day.

So if I meet her on the street or in a store, I'll try to venue change her to a coffee shop, or just the men's section to look at shirts or something.

You need to demonstrate that you aren't afraid to take action and lead. It's really key.

Most of the rapport I build with girls is just that they feel totally comfortable around me because I am leading the entire interaction.

Whether it be conversationally, sexually, physically, leading them around the venue, or leading them home...

Always be LEADING. It takes all of the responsibility off of them, and minimizes any chance of her looking like a slut.

Other deep rapport stuff... I actually try to shy away from it. From my experience, I used to go on a lot of day2s. I had all this money shit going on, masters degree, pilot's license, played in a band... yada yada yada...

The thing was, I put myself into the provider frame too often, and got a lot of LMR. I wasn't coming off as the sexworthy guy, the guy who is great for a random fuck.

So I was put into the provider frame, 1950's style, where the girls were SUPER into me, but didn't want to "put out" because they would not look like girlfriend material.

So now I am more vague, and what happens is the girl "fills in the blanks" with her perfect man. Then when you go home and hook up, it makes it even better for her.

_________________
Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:13 am 
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Hey Brad.

What are your thoughts and experiences on self-depreciating humor? is it something to avoid in general? even if it's coming from a place of "self amusement" which I know is one of rsd's core principals.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:02 am 
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Hey Brad.

What are your thoughts and experiences on self-depreciating humor? is it something to avoid in general? even if it's coming from a place of "self amusement" which I know is one of rsd's core principals.
Hey whatsup...

Yeah, I rarely use self deprecating humor, because I am always trying to come from the frame of being totally unapologetic.

That type of humor can come off as being insecure about something, especially if it is related to physical appearance...

The more I think about it though, there are probably two different scenarios where I will use it.

The first is if somewhere during the initial attraction phase, I come on too strong and too high value. The value gap is so high, I'll have to basically chode myself out so the girl can fit into her reality that we could be together.

So I'll say something about some embarrassing event that happened where I looked stupid.

The other time is to build comfort with the girl. I'll use similar stories to appear more vulnerable and real. It builds a stronger connection with the girl. And it is funny too.

The only other instance I can think of where I have used self deprecating humor is telling the girl that I have a small penis. Like over and over, jokingly, to the point where she thinks that I am only saying it because she thinks it is like GIGANTIC.

Saying stuff like "Yeah, you don't want to have sex with me. My penis is like 2" long. HARD."

It's helped over come LMR instances because they are so interested in seeing how large it actually is... :D :D

_________________
Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:30 am 
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i've recently gotten into RSD but watching tyler dvd's and i gotta say, RSD is the real deal. I love how practical it is, and how knowledgeable Tyler is.

glad to have you here at this forum.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:52 pm 
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Hey Brad.

What are your thoughts and experiences on self-depreciating humor? is it something to avoid in general? even if it's coming from a place of "self amusement" which I know is one of rsd's core principals.
Hey whatsup...

Yeah, I rarely use self deprecating humor...
Gotcha... thanks.

what about shit like joking about you're a child molester, or saying your mum helped you buy your wardrobe, or that you're into midget porn. I mean shit that she KNOWS is obviously bullshit... but you say it for the laugh.

Something to tone down?

Any feedback is appreciated, thanks.


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