Women return to men (it could be weeks or months) who provide value. Men provide value in early courtship in these ways:

1. Chill, fun personality.
2. Dominant, confident behavior.
3. Looks/physique.
4. Bedroom skills.

You have to have provided at least ONE of those values, at a very high level for socially valuable women to return to you (IE, women who are fit), or want to see you in person multiple times.

You destroy her impression of your value when you over-contact (wipes out the chill/fun value), when you act passive (wipes out the dominant/confident value), when you are in "just okay" shape (looks/physique value) and when you aren't that great in bed (wipes out bedroom skills value).

Most men are UNABLE to achieve ANY of those early courtship values at very high levels. It's why so many girls next men relentlessly.

A man who can hit all of those values, at high levels, is going to have women BEGGING to come over.

Pickup is NOT about the woman. It's about how YOU show up. It's about improving all facets of your life, until you have such social value that YOU become the person who does the nexting/dumping.

Engage in a multi-pronged plan that will teach you to be emotionally-centered:

Tape a sticky note to your phone that says "is this text emotional, or negative? Am I over-contacting this woman?"

Improve your body in the gym:

Every other day, at least one hour of weights. Cut your carbs to under 60 or 80 grams a day to remove face bloat and get you waist under 36 inches.

Improve your "to the point" confidence:

Learn to get to the point in your interactions with women, and to embrace congruency. This will thus become dominance.

Practice learning how to make women orgasm:

Bang 5's if you have to. Eventually you'll learn how to make most women orgasm on the first night.


Pickup is like any other hobby/passion/job: You learn the basics, and you slowly (yes, SLOWLY) get better and better as you practice.

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Where’s a good guide to make a girl orgasm?

I get this list but there is an emphasis on that it's the guy's fault. Sometimes two people just don't connect. Every guy has a friend that has at the very least one of the qualities listed and every one of those guys has likely gone out with a girl that didn't have an interest in him after one or two dates. It's not necessarily because he did something wrong. I've seen people quit dating over things such as religion, lifestyle, politics, goals, culture, lack of similar interests, race, etc. Yes, you can attract lots of women by having any one of the four values listed but just having them doesn't mean that you'll make it through to a second date.

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Because it usually is. Women do most of the "nexting", due to a higher abundance mentality.

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/ar ... ationship/

Women are twice as likely to dump men, than men are to dump them. This shows a significant gap in abundance and emotional intelligence between women and men.

That's true, but as a man develops all of his values, this happens less and less, and the man develops extreme abundance mentality and has no problem dumping women who aren't exactly what turns him on.



None of this really addresses the fact that as a man improves in all facets of life, the more he'll achieve social abundance.

The goal is to put yourself in a place where you'll be doing most of the choosing of who stays in your life, not women.

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Not that this article challenges my statements at all since it is using marriages and long term relationships in their findings and it has nothing to do with early courtship but even the reasoning doesn't revolve around your four values. You aren't going to solve incompatibilities by developing 4 values. At most, you will mask them and the potential of ending up in the nexted category is just delayed and then we hit scenarios like the article you listed above is talking about.
No, it addresses the fact that you are saying that women aren't calling men back because you say that they don't have at least one of the four values. Since the 4 values are generally under the man's control, the overall message is if a woman won't see you again it is your fault for not developing one of these values. I'm saying that there are far too many variables involved for "why won't she see me again?" to be limited to those 4 values and automatically placing the man at fault. Nowhere am I saying that those don't account for your attractiveness but you shouldn't be thinking if you can't keep the girl around that it necessarily revolves around them.

On a side note...the reason that women dump men most of the time is because there is less incentive for a man to dump a woman but there is more incentive for a woman to dump a man. It's the reason that I'll never get married or allow a woman to move in with me.

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It's safe to assume that since the "nexting" rates for women are 2x that of men in marriage and long term relationships, it also applies to early courtship.

And yes, the reasoning for getting dumped ALWAYS revolves around how attractive a person finds their partner, or potential partner. you don't dump people you're attracted to.

When you fail to hit any of the four values at a high level, you become LESS attractive to the opposite sex, and thus get blown off and or divorced. You don't do the choosing.

By improving in the four values, you'll override differences simply because a woman is totally attracted to you.

When a person says "We were incompatible", it's a platitude, and often a nice way of saying, "he was fat", or "he was too emotional", or "he was too possessive", or "the fun to negative ratio was way off".

All of those things hit on my four values.


The girl I had over here two nights ago is totally not the kind of girl I would be with in terms of personality. She's a christian, into "God", her family hunts, and she's not a progressive liberal like I am. But I still had her and my gf on my bed, and fucked both of them side by side (lol) because I hit on these values:

1. chill/fun
2. confident/dominant
3. in shape (looks, physique).

I didn't perform as good as I usually do in the sack, so I can't comment on the "bedroom skills" value. But these three values overrode any "incompatibilities."

Yes, more than likely. Women who are attracted to you, don't move on from you.


The variables are out of your control, so it's pointless to worry about them. Focusing on what you can control, and applying consistent improvement across the board will have an incredible effect.


The people who do the dumping, are the people with higher abundance.

They are able to "cut loose" first, because the loss is not as catastrophic for them as it is for their partner. This also directly applies to early courtship, and "nexting" orbiters and potential lovers (or flings).

As far as a woman living with you, you just haven't found one you're that attracted to yet. I wouldn't let most women live with me either. But if a woman checks every line on my list, she's more than welcome to live with me, as long as she's bisexual, takes care of her body, and open minded sexually and in terms of learning new things in other aspects of life.

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Let's say that a guy is extremely chill/fun, great shape, masculine and they had a great first date. The next date they talk about their careers and she finds out that he's in a career that makes only 40k per year. After she finds out that information, she goes cold and doesn't contact him again. He fits 3 of your 4 values but he still got nexted. What did he do wrong? I ask this because I know a girl that dumped a guy for this exact reason. Her reasoning is that he can't afford the lifestyle that she's looking for although she was attracted to him. One week he was the most perfect guy in the world...the next she couldn't be bothered with him and nothing about him changed.You have a habit of deciding what other people mean and think. That's pretty much a cop out when you can't explain a difference in thinking. No one is right about everything. Even the girl that I mentioned above thought a guy was great until she ran into a deal breaker that are outside of your 4 values.I'm not saying that a woman that has different values is going to reject you because of that. I'm not saying that a woman won't give you a chance if your values are different. I'm saying that if you have at least one of the four values that it doesn't make a woman stay with you just because of it. Sure they do. They'll move on from guys who cheat. They'll move on from guys if they lose their jobs. They'll move on from guys when they find a guy even more attractive. They'll move on from guys if he can't add to her lifestyle. I can keep going, but the point has been made that those aren't reasons that are in the 4 values.I agree. Again, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with your 4 values. They are just not a guarantee because other reasons for a woman to not continue on with you exist.Your moving away from your original point. Having at least one of the four values will keep you from getting dumped ever. You acknowledged that there are variables that are out of your control that can get you dumped and you go as far as to say not to worry about them because of that. We both agree on that. If we agree on that then it's not always the guys fault if things don't work out.

Men and women are different because men do the majority of approaching. Women do the majority of accepting the approach. Men approach normally on one thing and one thing alone and that is if the girl is attractive. Even if the girl has a foul attitude, most guys will give her a pass because of it. If she doesn't have a great career, men will give her a pass. If her lifestyle is questionable, he'll give her a pass. She's not as educated as him, he'll give her a pass. All this is because of beauty which is what we want on average. If beauty is all were after and we don't care about much else, of course we're going to do the least amount of dumping. There's less incentive if she remains good looking. Women judge men on a lot more different levels. His ability to provide, his attractiveness, his education, and if we go woman to woman they'll all have a list of various requirements that can be absolute deal breakers and he won't usually get a pass and if he does then it has an expiration date.

As far as a woman living with me, you can't say that I haven't found one that I was that attracted to yet. I've lived with a total of four women. One for 1.5 years, one for two years, and two for less than a year. The one that I lived with for two years has been my weakness and is still somewhat, so quit doing that thing where you are telling me what I'm thinking. What I've learned is that as a man, you end up losing more than you gain. If bills need to get paid, it'll ultimately fall on you if things get tough. You lose free time. Your sex drive starts to diminish and so does hers (before you tell me I'm wrong, it's been scientifically proven). When they move out or the two of you split up more of your stuff disappears along with them even if you bought it. There is less incentive for them to keep themselves up because they are harder to get rid of. Right now I'm seeing two girls and both of them know that their place in my life can end if I'm not happy with them and visa versa. I have no doubt that I can easily make a phone call and have sex with one of them within the hour and I can send them home afterwards if I feel like it or me go back home. It's a happier way to live for me and I know that because of experience.

I just watched a friend go through a divorce and his ex is taking half of his 401k and she put absolutely nothing into it. He had to sell his house and split the profits 50/50 with her even though she paid none of the mortgage. He has to pay off her car while she gets herself established. Why did they get a divorce? Because he told her that she was spending too much and that she'd have to get a job. The 4 rules didn't apply to him either.

Let's be honest Arch. If the 4 values are real then you're saying that you can get any woman you want without a problem. They wouldn't be able to resist you just because of rule #1. That's something that's easily demonstrated. Are you saying that you are irresistible because you are saying that you at least have 3 of the 4 going at all times? You only need 1.

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Good to see you making personal anecdotes, Jack.

Makes you seem more legit, and the conversation is better. I agree with a lot of what you say about marriage (I refuse to, as well). I'll reply a bit later with more detail.

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Not the first time. You seen neos list of quotes coming from personal anecdotes and he barely scratched the surface.

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IMHO, that's a woman you don't want in your life. The worst kind of person, and such a bad way to start a relationship.

I don't make a ton of money. And I have found that if I'm hitting the other values in my list, that is never a problem.



My thought is that he isn't hitting multiple values in my list.

IMHO, then she wasn't really that attracted to him.

that's true. I'm not disagreeing with that.

What I am saying is that when you excel at all those values, you decrease the chances of a woman nexting you for whatever reason.

True. I don't cheat, so not a problem for me. I get around that (lol) by only dating sexually open women who like threesomes. And that is indeed part of my "shocking honesty" and congruency advice.

IMHO, the woman was never really attracted to that guy in that case.

It's possible. but remember, as long as you are hitting multiple values on that list CONSISTENTLY, and you are also IMPROVING, women are, for the most part, not going to want to leave you. They will be obsessed with you. But you MUST keep improving on those values and evolving ,and not making her a priority.

Most guys, as time goes on, get dumped for letting themselves go physically and emotionally in relationships. They watch too much TV, get fat, get possessive, get too emotional, and tend to "reveal their true selves" once they feel they "have" a woman.

This is a fatal mistake! They fail to keep improving themselves, and thus addressing those all too important values.





True, because the guy has a scarcity mentality. This mentality is also why they get dumped.


That's true, women are more picky then men, because in general, they have higher abundance.

However, this is REVERSED when you excel at the four values. and YOU become the one who is picky, and who does the choosing. when a man achieves this level. women don't elave him. They see him the way a scarce male sees a beautiful woman -as a God, or something to be obsessed over.

Sounds a lot like my situations.

No, I don't do that. I set the tone immediately with women. Any woman who moves in with me splits the mortgage, and half the utilities, and stocks the fridge. They never complain, because they know I'm an advocate for women's rights, and equality. I'm no ones fucking sugar daddy. I expect my women to be independent.
Yes, I agree with you on the science.But I have found ways to fix this. First, it's important for BOTH people to go to the fucking gym. I will straight up tell my gf if she's getting fat. This again is part of my "shocking honesty" and congruency that I preach here. Honesty is HOT! Withering away in quiet desperation is NOT. She will also tell me if my gut is getting big. works both ways.

Second, my gf gives me green lights to go on dates with other women, and I give her green lights to fuck other girls. It never gets boring, lol. And because we are brutally honest with each other, we are brutally honest tour fantasies, and try to bring them to life. If she thinks a guy or girl is hot, she'll tell me, and I her. We don't act like it's some taboo, horrible thing that will ruin the relationship.

Freedom is really, really hot, and keeps things burning intensely for a long, long time. Especially when both people are really fit, and work hard.


Again, Jack, this goes back to my four values. If you are always working at those values, and improving, women will keep their ass in shape for you. Your brutal honesty will keep them working hard for you, because it's dominant behavior.

Nothing wrong with that!

He did a bad job of screening that woman before letting her that far into his life. All of this is within the control of you and I.

I have a vetting process that weeds out women like this, and I kick them to the curb.

I'm not saying I'm irresistible. What I am saying is following the four values, and ALWAYS improving lets you do most of the choosing of who, and who isn't in your life. But you can't just stop improving. Be careful of slipping, watching too much TV/couching lifestyle, etc.

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^ i have above average of everything the op posted, and with the new generation 100% you have no control...

women just want to get laid in some cases, or the main one they are looking to trade sex for relationship...

I have gone through about 10 ons were i can not keep unless i keep engaging and engaging, things have totally change in 2017...


The list on the op i find inaccurate.... Your points are also really good, again this is post dick in vagina and possessing everything in the op...

The fact is that 2017 a lot have change and women are behaving a lot like dudes now (very sexually liberated good in some ways bad in others)....

Key is to give them a bit of bf (30% bf possibility) 70% lover vibe...

in fairness my vibe is 100% lover...

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BUMP

this is my friend will:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHr-HyYp9TQ&t=1983s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6ITDLjrFOM

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You can't control women of any generation. The only thing you can control is yourself.

How is this in any way a problem? If you look decent with your shirt off, and can give a woman orgasms, and don't blow up her phone like a needy stalker, they'll keep coming back.

Those are called "needy women", and I next them. They are usually of low social value (fat).

Your inability to get one night stand women coming back to you says more about your bedroom game and your text game than it does about all women in 2017, lol.

If you can't get women coming back you've slept with, you have to make improvements across the board. There's something about you that is repelling them.




Yes, this is true. It's why you have to be a fun, dominant male.

Men these days, are mostly beta, and act more feminine than women. That's why shocking honesty, congruency, and slight indifference are important in early courtship.

Also, the sexually liberated thing totally works to a dominant male's advantage. It means more threesomes, more adventurous situations AND more freedom for the man in long term relationships.

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Arch, I wrote a lot and decided not to post it because most of it is telling you that you are wrong about the people that I actually know in the situations that I mentioned. No reason to beat that dead horse because if I told you how your girlfriend felt about anything, you actually know her and have more insight into that. Here's what I'm going to point out to you:
What you say here is the truth. A woman has to check your boxes in order for you want to continue on with her. Your boxes are different from other men but still they are what you want and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Women also have their own boxes and they aren't necessarily limited to four values or even contain the values that you have listed.

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