Common mistakes of men who call themselves PUAS



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:23 pm 
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As a personal development writer and instructor, and someone who has come to understand the PUA community, I have made some (what I think to be) valuable observations of some very common mistakes made by men who call themselves Pick Up Artists. They are as follows.

1) Not everyone is trying to AMOG you - This I think, is one of the most common mistakes I've seen overall. I see posts, threads, and articles all the time posing questions or situations where the author is simply over-reacting. I'm not suggesting that people aren't going to try to show dominance over you in social situations because this does happen all the time. However, you have remember to take a joke sometimes. You don't always have to take a comment as an attack on your social character. If someone says "Nice earing fag" then that's definitely a situation where you would want to take the offensive and shoot back.
However, I can say with a pretty high degree of certainty that most of the time, other men aren't consciously trying to AMOG you. So instead of always being in attack mode towards other men in social situations, befriend them and joke with them.

2) Just say hello - This relates closely to my last post entitled "Don't over-complicate things". Again, I see dozens upon dozens of threads and posts by people asking for "openers". I find this so silly. Sure, these canned openers can work. But seriously, it's not natural to store these sound bites in your head. And it isn't worth worrying about. Whatever happened to smiling and saying "hi"? You don't have to make it such a production, you can, but you don't have to. People are more receptive to social contact than you think, you don't have to put on this big show of opening when in reality, chances are she won't remember what you said a week from now. So instead of worrying yourself sick about which opener to use, just walk up to her and say what you want - whatever that may be.

3) Lose the attitude - As a side effect of learning this occult knowledge, PUAS tend to turn into giant douchebags. While this may be a vast generalization, I have found it to be relatively correct. They go from a shy, timid man who can't muster up the balls to squeak out a peep to a woman into a raging douche who puts on a top-hat and one too many silver rings who all the sudden is convinced that every woman wants him and every guy wants to be him. This "I'm the shit" attitude isn't attractive, and quite frankly it's annoying as hell. In most cases, despite their best efforts the attitude comes across as try-hard or a huge over-compensation for a deep rooted problem. Just be humble in your thoughts, words, and actions.

4) Learn the difference between cocky/funny and cocky/not funny - There is a MAJOR difference, please just learn it for you own good.

5) Live in the moment - Another side effect of having all this knowledge is that men tend to spend their time analyzing mistakes and planning for the future (creating routines and lines) instead of living in the moment. Self-reflection is good and so is planning for the future, however, this can get out of hand very quickly. Enjoy your time in the now. When you're in a social group, stop thinking so much, stop worrying about what was just said and how to properly respond or if you responded correctly. Like I always say, roll with the punches and live in the NOW. There is a balance between the three, find it, and embrace it.

6) Stop dedicating SO much time to one aspect - Being successful with women is NOT the most important thing in your life, end of story. You can't argue otherwise. While sometimes it may seem like it, they are merely a desire - one of many. This stuff really isn't that hard guys, I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Dedicate some time to it, and take a break. Go live a bit. Go develop other aspects of your life. Go to the gym, go read a book, go learn how to cook some new foods, go play frisbee, whatever the fuck you wanna do. This is possibly the greatest pitfall. I see people with 1000's upon 1000's of posts in a very short amount of time and I can't help but wonder....what are they doing with their life? This shit is great guys, it works, and it helps. But it is only one facet of an amazing world that is endless in possibility and infinite in wonder.

...stay tuned...more to come!

Namaste.
I. Smith.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:29 pm 
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I agree with most of the points. Accept with the cliche statement of "Living In the moment" You have to think about the past or the future sometimes, if you're always living in the moment then you're not really setting your goals for yourself, you're just being an ant who doesn't question his/her role in society.

Has anyone read the book "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho? Short fiction novel. Good shit. Basically, it tells you to always put your dreams before the person you love. Don't give up your dreams for anyone or anything. When you attain your dreams, everything else will come into place.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:32 pm 
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There is a balance between the three, find it, and embrace it.
Never said don't think about the past and future.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:36 pm 
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I know, I was just throwing it in there =]
cus I've met people who don't like thinking about the past or the future.

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"I use to believe when a girl said she love me, but now I take off, don't look back and keep runnin. A hundred MPH Im hidin my smile but now I find time just for writin it down" -Equipto

"Life's not a bitch, Life is a beautiful woman" -Aesop Rock


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 4:56 pm 
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Good post thank you very much.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:52 pm 
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all i can say is.. amen. hallejuah! lol that was a great post that covered many needed topics.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:13 pm 
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this post reminded me a bit of one of the threads from here worthwhile-threads-vt20776.html
[ways being a pua can make you wierd]

nice post man-- it's good for us to have a reality check every once in a while


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:36 pm 
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Quote:

6) Stop dedicating SO much time to one aspect - Being successful with women is NOT the most important thing in your life, end of story. You can't argue otherwise. While sometimes it may seem like it, they are merely a desire - one of many. This stuff really isn't that hard guys, I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Dedicate some time to it, and take a break. Go live a bit. Go develop other aspects of your life. Go to the gym, go read a book, go learn how to cook some new foods, go play frisbee, whatever the fuck you wanna do. This is possibly the greatest pitfall. I see people with 1000's upon 1000's of posts in a very short amount of time and I can't help but wonder....what are they doing with their life? This shit is great guys, it works, and it helps. But it is only one facet of an amazing world that is endless in possibility and infinite in wonder.
Amen to that. I couldn't have put it better myself. I didn't enter the community to nail every chick that I thought was attractive or to be "the best", I just wanted to improve aspects of myself that needed some work. If you are successful in one aspect of life you will be successful in more. Everything is connected in one way or another. Take the time to stop and just live life as it comes at you sometimes instead of worrying about every little detail. Improve yourself and you improve the world.

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Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.


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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2009 8:25 am 
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Quote:
5) Live in the moment - Another side effect of having all this knowledge is that men tend to spend their time analyzing mistakes and planning for the future (creating routines and lines) instead of living in the moment. Self-reflection is good and so is planning for the future, however, this can get out of hand very quickly. Enjoy your time in the now. When you're in a social group, stop thinking so much, stop worrying about what was just said and how to properly respond or if you responded correctly. Like I always say, roll with the punches and live in the NOW. There is a balance between the three, find it, and embrace it.
This is great advice and not just for how to pick up women. This is advice that should be applied to every aspect of your life. It can be difficult to do, bcos our minds have become so out of control, that they constantly take us away from the present moment. Things like dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, or interpreting situations and events through our social conditioning, instead of accepting the reality of a situation and taking the optimal action.

There are, I'm sure, many great books out there on the issue, but one I've read that explains it brilliantly is "the Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Well worth a read, even if you don't believe in this, bcos it explains the human condition excellently.

In it, as you mention yourself, living in the present moment doesn't preclude taking time to learn from past mistakes, or planning for the future, it simply means that you are not constantly focused on either past or future. You can set yourself plans for the future, but when it comes to putting that plan into action, you are completely focused on the step you are on. You do not make your happiness dependent on some future outcome.

Well worth the read.

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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2009 9:27 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
5) Live in the moment - Another side effect of having all this knowledge is that men tend to spend their time analyzing mistakes and planning for the future (creating routines and lines) instead of living in the moment. Self-reflection is good and so is planning for the future, however, this can get out of hand very quickly. Enjoy your time in the now. When you're in a social group, stop thinking so much, stop worrying about what was just said and how to properly respond or if you responded correctly. Like I always say, roll with the punches and live in the NOW. There is a balance between the three, find it, and embrace it.
This is great advice and not just for how to pick up women. This is advice that should be applied to every aspect of your life. It can be difficult to do, bcos our minds have become so out of control, that they constantly take us away from the present moment. Things like dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, or interpreting situations and events through our social conditioning, instead of accepting the reality of a situation and taking the optimal action.

There are, I'm sure, many great books out there on the issue, but one I've read that explains it brilliantly is "the Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Well worth a read, even if you don't believe in this, bcos it explains the human condition excellently.

In it, as you mention yourself, living in the present moment doesn't preclude taking time to learn from past mistakes, or planning for the future, it simply means that you are not constantly focused on either past or future. You can set yourself plans for the future, but when it comes to putting that plan into action, you are completely focused on the step you are on. You do not make your happiness dependent on some future outcome.

Well worth the read.
This is the perfect way to work around forum rule #1 and revive a dead thread. Lots of value in your post, and you revived a very value-giving thread. Kudos.

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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2009 6:37 pm 
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This is a great advice dude. I hope you keep up the good work. :)


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 2:20 pm 
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Great stuff, really enjoyed it.


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 10:17 pm 
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yeah, Ian (Methuselah) Smith is one of the greatest members this forum has ever had.


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 12:54 am 
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what a great post.

it's just really the point.

we have to be happy with ourselves. then, we will attract all the rest.

feel good about you, feel happy, do happy things.

joke around, just say good day, good morning or good night and smile.

sometimes you will get a reply, sometimes you will not but that's just part of the game. everything is experience!

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everyone should know this:
common-mistakes-of-men-who-call-themsel ... 20864.html


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 2:45 am 
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yea i seem to have the "everyone is trying to AMOG me" thing.. so i just try to make fun of some one who was just being friendly to me.. lol


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