Recently, I’ve become aware of an archetype of men who regularly hook up with attractive women, and at first I thought I was seeing outliers, exceptions to the rule. These men didn’t have ‘game’, they weren’t cool, charismatic, or more physically attractive than most guys. Over time, I realized that the one quality this archetype of men has is disproportionately valuable in dating.
Let’s call this call this archetype of man the awkward aggressive, he has a couple standout traits. First, he’s socially uncalibrated, he’s not a social butterfly by traditional standards. Second, he’s aggressive with women, he lives and breathes the Glen Gary Glen Ross mindset, “Always Be Closing.” If you’re in the group as him interacting with women, sometimes you’ll cringe. He’ll invite the girls to an ‘afterparty’ out of the blue, make the women uncomfortable, and keep persisting despite their obvious discomfort.
Before I noticed the results they were getting, I avoided awkward aggressives, and I certainly didn’t think of them as role models or potential mentors in any way. But I kept noticing the same pattern play out, again and again. A pattern that bothered me to my fucking core.
These awkward aggressive pulled high quality girls. Not only that, they were among the guys who got the most impressive results of any ‘pick up’ guys I had met. I had put years of effort into learning to be more socially intelligent, charismatic, and vulnerable, yet these guys, who were if anything, anti-charismatic, were sleeping with higher quality women than I was. Was I going about dating all wrong?
Yes and no. Learning to be more charismatic certainly helps, not only will women be more attracted to you, but your social interactions will be more enjoyable in general. However, the first and most essential step to getting an abundant dating life isn’t developing a winning personality, it’s something awkward aggressive guys intuitively understand, and it’s something most guys don’t pay nearly enough attention to.
Dating is a number game, and anyone who says it isn’t, is flat out wrong. Now, the number in question isn’t how many approaches you do. It’s more of a formula involving your attractiveness and how many women you attempt to close, it looks like this A x .03C= R
A= Overall Attractiveness (looks, status, charisma, etc) (Rated as a 1-10) C= Number of attempted closes R=Results (The numbers are estimations, what they represent is most important)
If your attractiveness is below average, say a 6. And you attempt 10 closes in one weekend. The ‘math’ would look like this, 6 x .03(10) =R This becomes: R=.9 meaning you’ll sleep with nine/tenths of a girl (she’s missing a hand, perhaps).
Okay, I was kidding about the hand. Now, obviously, this is far from an exact science, but these variables are what determine results. Now, to clarify, what I mean by attempted closes, is how many times you try to bring a girl somewhere sex can happen. Getting a number doesn’t count as an attempted close.
There’s a couple valuable takeaways from looking at game this way. One, sure, attractiveness matters a lot, but if you’re highly attractive you won’t get any results without real attempts at closing.
And, although that may seem obvious, that’s the mistake I see. I know several highly attractive guys, who just don’t pull the trigger, I have a friend who’s a 6’3 Olympian swimmer, and he gets lots of opportunities, but he doesn’t attempt the close, and women fuck some other guy who’s willing to do so.
Another guy I know is extremely attractive, but he’s terrified of getting rejected. On the rare occasion, he does go out, he ejects from interactions with women who clearly like him because he gets nervous.
On the other hand, an unattractive awkward aggressive, will get rejected all the time, and most women won’t like him. But the formula works in his favor, relatively few girls will sleep with him, but he tries to close every girl he has a substantial interaction with, and some of them are down.
Awkward aggressive shouldn’t be getting more results than most other guys, but they do. And this reveals a truth about guys who try to improve their dating life. Most of them rarely attempt to close a girl, they might get numbers or makeouts, etc. But few guys take the necessary steps to lead an interaction towards sex. Because of this, guys who are awkward often get better results than the guys who actually have the qualities most women want.
If you’re socially awkward, and relatively attractive, this means, that even now, if you learn to genuinely attempt to lead interactions towards sex, you can get results. If you are traditionally attractive, this means that the results you could get are incredible, but you must radically change your strategy if you’re not getting those results now.
Women have just as much of an emotional desire for sex as men do, and a good percentage of women are open to having casual sex with some guy they just met at a club. But women, almost always, will only go home with a man who takes the responsibility of the interaction. He has to lead it towards sex, because culturally, women feel ashamed to do so. Often times, the only men who will take the necessary responsibility are men who are fairly awkward, but if she wants dick, oftentimes that’s enough for her. _________________ High-quality PUA blog: http://averyhayden.net/
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