A Lesson in Qualification from an Unexpected Source



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:28 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:35 pm
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Website: http://www.sashapua.com
Location: London
Last night I was doing my usual "work the whole venue" thing at a bar I often warm up in. I got into this really fascinating conversation with this gay guy about the music business. At some point he said this (paraphrased obviously):

"You know, I can see that you and your friends have a fun time together. But I also know that you're different from them. You're exclusive. You haven't always fit in your whole life because you're more intelligent that most people around you, and that makes you different. But I know that you'll find other special people like yourself who'll value your intelligence and when you do that, you'll find what you're looking for."

Now, in the mind of the PUA, this guy is clearly QUALIFYING ME HARDCORE. He did it particularly well because he hit upon an aspect of myself that I actually value, and want to be valued for - my intelligence. He also linked it to positive things like being "exclusive," and did a little cold read by saying I haven't always fit in. Even though I knew exactly what he was doing and how the way he was doing it was manipulating my emotions, I still responded positively and was thinking "yeah I am smarter than these guys, what a cool guy he really gets me...etc"

This is a great little speech to fit into your game when you're building comfort with a girl, except just replace "intelligence" with whatever fact about her you know she values about herself (almost ANYTHING positive apart from looks will do). This will make her feel validated, and also will make her think "this guy gets me...we have a real connection."

The other lessons are that, if you are honestly interested in what people have to say, you come off as a genuine person, and people will be more willing to open up to you. Finally, this shows that it's important to work the whole venue, not just the HBs, because you're not only increasing your social proof, you're giving yourself the chance to meet and learn from lots of new people.

And to answer your question - no, I did not f-close the dude ;-)


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:43 pm 
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Thanks for this. I like the fact that you are promoting qualification. I think the key thing is not actually whether you qualify, or even when you qualify (although this is very important) - instead, it is WHAT you qualify with.

I have found that I can be as truthful as I like with qualification - but if the girl doesn't think she deserves the praise, or the praise is wrong, it'll backfire like a bullet off diamond. On the other hand, if she agrees with it, you're in the money.

A good example of this is hair. It doesn't matter what the hell you think of her hair, honestly or not. It only matters what she thinks of it. If she thinks it's bad, and you GENUINELY compliment her...you're screwed. And vice versa :).


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