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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 12:56 pm 
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Scene 10 - The x-factor
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Women are like cats. You try to rally them up like dogs and they just jump up on the top bookshelf and fall asleep. So you sit there . . . pretend that you don't even notice her. Take a bowl of warm milk, put it right next to your foot. Go grab a paper and just read. . . and wait..
So, persistence is good for when you are face to face with her to plough through some resistance. But don't persist too much in other situations or you look needy (follow up game). You throw the ball in her camp and wait if she responds, is that the way I should interpret it?


The party

Me and my friends went to a party. We decided to first go crazy and after the best performers were gone. We went wild, but still sober (I'm always sober when going out btw).


Friends friend

While we were partying I came across a girl who is a friend of a friend of mine, we have talked before, but nothing special happened. She doesn't date alot of guys, she's hard people have told me. I start talking with her and the girls in the group, introduce one of my friends. I clawed the girl and talked to her like that. After some time we start dancing, I go into some grinding and I felt she followed well. After some grinding we stop and she goes to her friend and asks her to go to the front more.She went off with her friend and looked back at me.
I gave her the 'frowned eyebrow, smile -are you leaving me here- look'.

Later that night, after the next story, when I went to her again with a friend and talked with the group, made some fun. Bumped with my ass against that girl, but she wasn't so receptive anymore. Even my wingmen told me her bodylanguage showed that she's not interested. (Did she see I was a slut?..).


three dancing girls

I noticed a group of girls dancing a bit further from where we were standing. I told one of my friends that the girl in the black dress was hot. I love this guy, he is a great wing. He goes first to the group and starts talking to one of them. I did as if I was following him and stood still next to the black dressed girl. I look at her, then looked at my friend talking to her friend and said with a smile on my face "What is happening here?". I don't know anymore how she reacted, but we talked a bit. After a minute or so I grab her hand, do some hip swinging and spin her. As if one spin wasn't enough I kept making her spin, bout 5 times I think. I noticed she saw her friends looking at us. I clawed her and said "It's ok, we'll tell them that you're my ex-girlfriend. We broke up but we're still pretty good friends".

I pull her closer to me and start grinding, she was following real good. I start grinding her and says she'll need to let me lead, thats her job. We grind and I ask her if she knows the basic salsa steps. she doesn't so I tell her I'll teach her. I push the front of her thigh to the back and lead her like this into the salsa step . She didn't seem to mind I was touching her thighs on the back and front. I grind some more, go back into normal dancing, grind again and start walking away with her while grinding. She asks me where I'm going and I tell her "just over there ..." which was no response since I didn't point at anything.

I grind with her, push her against the wall, put my back to her and start like going down like a stripper on her. I turn her around so I'm against the wall now and let her grind some more on my leg. I push her against the wall again, I am right against her now with my face very close. I kiss her forehead, tilted my head and went for the kiss, no routines this time. we make out for a while and I start stroking her ass and grab it. I remembered what spread said if she isn't down with touching her boobs she isn't down to finger.

So I go with my hands up from her hips along the sides of her body till I am next to her boobs and then slide on her boobs. She takes my hand away and pushes me away a bit says "you can't do that". I tell her "Sure I can, you've touched mine already", grab her hands and put it on my chest. She laughs and I pull her close again and start making out again. She was with her eyes closed almost all the time or looking at the ground, while making out (which is normal), but even while dancing. I don't think it was because she was shy, she didn't behaved like she was shy.

Image
Somewhat like this puppet does, but not with the head held up.

After a while she says she has to go to the toilet. I say to her "Ohhh no, that's THE excuse to get away from me! while smiling ". I kept it cool, waited a bit for her to come back, she didn't come and then I decided to go bck to my friends.

she was standing there with her friends, and she was hiding a bit behind her friends, hugged with them. She was a bit embarrassed (her friends didn't see us make out tho. Later on I heard from one of my friends that her friends told him that nothing would probably happen, because she just broke up with her bf). I found it funny how she was playing the embarrassed I can't believe what happened girl. So I walk up to them and introduce myself, start talking to her friends. When I started talking to her again she asked how old I was. I tell her my age and she said I was too young for her, she was one year older.

I say to her, age doesn't mean a thing, we chat a bit and she told me to prove that I wasn't much younger and to show my ID. I don't like following up commands without getting anything back, so I told her: "sure, but show me yours too so I am sure I'm not making out with a 16 year old girl". We cross ID's and she's still in the 'you're too young vibe'. We chat a bit and I tell her to put her phone number in my cell. She didn't want to, I grab my heart and say "oooooh, you're breaking my heart here girl" in a fun way. I talk with her friends a bit about how she broke my heart and I back off to my friends again.

A while later I go to her, start dancing with her again and say this while guiding her:

"now go 5 steps backwards"

"3 to the right side"

"5 steps back again"

I said there is an X on the floor there and we should go to it. She complied as I took her through these steps. This was a fun way to isolate her again. We stand still and I slowly push her against a wall again and start making out with her again with my body right against her, breathing deeply and rubbing my leg between her 2 legs. She was shaking her head often as if she shouldn't be doing this. It was alot more passionate this time. I start stroking her thighs (oh god they were so soft) on the side and go up with my hands and suddenly felt her underwear. She looked suprised and said 'no!'. She backs off again and I laugh like nothing special happened, pulled her close again and make out again. I was making out heavily and 3 fucking douchebags, form a circle around us and look and joke about it. This freaked her out and she wanted to go to her friends again.

She does the same embarrassed girl thing again. I go stand in front of her with my arms on my back and go close to her as if I secretly was giving her my cellphone to put her number in. She still didn't want to lol. Her group kept dancing close to my friends group, so I stayed inactive for a long while, but I didn't want to seem like a pussy but also not as needy. I kept it cool and just stroked her arm now and then when I am dancing near her, and then pretend I know of nothing. When I did that she went standing a bit further from me :P.

I was fed up and said to a friend, let's go talk to other people. So I went to the front, Friends friend was standing there and you've already read what happened there. It was getting late, so I said goodbye to everyone. I was looking for the black dressed girl to say goodbye, but she already left.

So I go outside, start walking some streets and guess who's standing there with her friends... yep black dressed girl. I walk up to them but put my sweater on my head so that they can't see my face, but still make it obvious that it was me. They went "oh no" and laughed. "It's the young guy". I laugh and told them I wasn't too young to be friends with them. We talked a bit about going out. I asked all of their names and repeated my full name. I go closer to black dressed girl and say, you should add me on facebook. I let her repeat my name and laugh how she won't remember it anyway. I say to her "Put in your number here, I'll text you my name so you won't forget.". She agrees and starts saying numbers.

I show her what i typed, but it was wrong she said and gave me some resistance when I asked her to tell me the right number again. Eventually she did gave the numbers. I text her my name. Her friends start going away and she has to follow, so she starts leaving and I say to her "bye my girlfr.. no.. my friend.. no my secret friend!" And walked off. I don't know if she will add me.

I threw the ball in her camp, now let's see if she does anything with it.


lessons learned

- I should have made her feel safer when those douchebags came
- I should let girls cool off a bit when I escalate alot on them, switch it more up with just talking and laughing, that could be why both girls left me at a point
- Switch making out more often with other types of touching, making out alone got boring after a while for me, I don't know about her.
- I might have to look up some ways to build a deeper connection[/i]

Leading her made me look confident. With the presistance I took the responsability on me. If the girl is losing interest or avoiding me a bit, doing nothing will result to nothing, so persistence is my best shot.[/i]


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 3:59 pm 
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Quote:
Scene 10 - The x-factor
Quote:
Women are like cats. You try to rally them up like dogs and they just jump up on the top bookshelf and fall asleep. So you sit there . . . pretend that you don't even notice her. Take a bowl of warm milk, put it right next to your foot. Go grab a paper and just read. . . and wait..
So, persistence is good for when you are face to face with her to plough through some resistance. But don't persist too much in other situations or you look needy (follow up game). You throw the ball in her camp and wait if she responds, is that the way I should interpret it?
Daniel Barenboim has this DVD where he teaches, or perhaps more accurately, 'offers his interpretations' of Beethoven sonatas to younger, highly accomplished pianists. There is this one part that I still remember. He stops the younger pianist at one point and asks him, "Why did you just play that louder? Why the forte?"

The younger guy thinks about it and replies, "Because I feel this movement is special. . . I want to highlight it."

Barenboim then suggets, "Sometimes 'quieter' can be even more special. . . "

What I am saying is: Putting a warm bowl of milk by your foot IS PERSISTENCE. . . (done through a better strategy). Just because you are doing less 'physically' does not mean that you're not being persistent. What you did before was not needy at all; it was just plain creepy. You kept on cornering her into a tight little, uncomfortable spot. What does the cat do when you corner it and attempt to catch it? Yup, it scratches its way out or tries to find an opening. Instead, you just lay some warm milk by your foot and hang out for a bit. The cat comes for a drink . . .and you just lazily pick it up and put it on your lap.

So . . . going back to your first contact through FB. I recommended a simple 'way back in'. Afterwards, why not just relax and mention fun events that you're doing and comment on her events? Stuff you're doing with your friends . . . (and nothing having to do with sex) She already knows your sexual. You already sucked face. No matter what you plan to do together, she knows that something sexual will happen. There's no reason to keep playing Mr. Obvious and pushing towards this type of agenda. All you want to do is continue shooting off fun things once in a while and make her go "Cool" or "Wow" or "That sounds like so much fun." to one of your activities. This is your warm milk and her lapping it up. . . so this is when you grab her . . . "Hey, how about Saturday? We'll ____ together."

You might find that this strategy takes more confidence in yourself than pouncing on her over and over again. You need to trust that when you turn the car wheel to the right, the car will go right. You need to trust that when you waggle your LIFE in front of chicks, they will go 'WOW". Once you try this several times, you'll nearly be able to predict the moment they offer you the 'invite me now signs".


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 10:34 pm 
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Quote:
What I am saying is: Putting a warm bowl of milk by your foot IS PERSISTENCE. . . (done through a better strategy). Just because you are doing less 'physically' does not mean that you're not being persistent. What you did before was not needy at all; it was just plain creepy. You kept on cornering her into a tight little, uncomfortable spot. What does the cat do when you corner it and attempt to catch it? Yup, it scratches its way out or tries to find an opening. Instead, you just lay some warm milk by your foot and hang out for a bit. The cat comes for a drink . . .and you just lazily pick it up and put it on your lap.
Is this somewhat like the abundance attitude many of the guru's talk about? The don't care mentality. Things are still quite confusing to me. If she's not very responsive, sending her messages about what you're doing seems like pushy too or maybe this way she will respond? Do you send nothing anymore to the girls who aren't responsive? Obviously I care too much.

Like with this last girl (she didn't add me on facebook) I would have no clue on how to follow up. Call her, text her, leave her alone? She thinks I'm too young and probably sees it all as this crazy bar adventure.

What would the milk be here, or did the milk already expire..


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 6:58 am 
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she didnt add you on facebook. who cares GFTOW.

GFTOW is not just a behavior. It's a mentality. GET WITH IT.

STOP CHASING GIRLS! STOP NEEDING GIRLS! BE SECURE WITHYOURSELF!

In this life, you will meet thousands of women, kiss hundreds of them, fuck tens of them, and have long term relationships with a few of them. And the only person you will spend your whole life with is YOURSELF!

Treat your relationship with yourself like you'd want it to be with a significant other. Love yourself unconditionally. Be honest with yourself. Enjoy being (with) YOURSELF.

If you can't treat yourself in this manor, how can you treat anyone else this way?


If you approve of who you are, it doesn't matter what others think, because the one you end up with will approve of who you are as well as herself.

_________________
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ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:04 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
What I am saying is: Putting a warm bowl of milk by your foot IS PERSISTENCE. . . (done through a better strategy). Just because you are doing less 'physically' does not mean that you're not being persistent. What you did before was not needy at all; it was just plain creepy. You kept on cornering her into a tight little, uncomfortable spot. What does the cat do when you corner it and attempt to catch it? Yup, it scratches its way out or tries to find an opening. Instead, you just lay some warm milk by your foot and hang out for a bit. The cat comes for a drink . . .and you just lazily pick it up and put it on your lap.
Is this somewhat like the abundance attitude many of the guru's talk about? The don't care mentality. Things are still quite confusing to me. If she's not very responsive, sending her messages about what you're doing seems like pushy too or maybe this way she will respond? Do you send nothing anymore to the girls who aren't responsive? Obviously I care too much.

Like with this last girl (she didn't add me on facebook) I would have no clue on how to follow up. Call her, text her, leave her alone? She thinks I'm too young and probably sees it all as this crazy bar adventure.

What would the milk be here, or did the milk already expire..
You're confusing the goal with the method. A hunter sits quietly in one spot all day long not because he doesn't care about the catch but because he knows that sitting quietly all day long IS THE BEST STRATEGY achieve his goals.

To say to yourself "you don't care" 100 times while you know you really want the girls is ridiculous. "CARING' about the positive outcome of your efforts is a good thing. Give a quick thought about the history of those who recommend "DON'T CARE" and you will see a bunch of losers who've never accomplished much of anything. Ever see anybody who excel in ANYTHING in life recommend "Don't care"? Come on . . . this is just a simple little game but there's no reason to derail your core beliefs or reality.

This might be a good time to go back to your approaches and see whats' going on. You have a 'detached' quality about you. In the beginning, you sort of bounced around from group to group without actually communicating and making any connections. For some reason, I think you've led yourself to believe that sucking face alone is = a connection strong enough to warrant the girls to be interested in you. The girls see your interactions as a 'crazy bar adventure' because that's EXACTLY what you offer. To go beyond that, there's got to be a connection.

Your milk? . . . this is something you have to figure out. You really haven't mentioned much in your thread other than a few sarges at bars/clubs. Even with the girls who are crazy about this scene, only offering to escort them to clubs will give you a few outings and that's it. There's more to life than clubbing.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:52 pm 
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To say to yourself "you don't care" 100 times while you know you really want the girls is ridiculous. "CARING' about the positive outcome of your efforts is a good thing. Give a quick thought about the history of those who recommend "DON'T CARE" and you will see a bunch of losers who've never accomplished much of anything.

When you "really want" the girl? Why do you "really want" a girl who you haven't even gotten to know? The only thing you can truly tell about a girl through meeting her once at a bar is whether or not you still want to fuck her by the end of the night, or if you want to get to know her more.

And let's face it, if you're cold approaching girl after girl, how many of them are you actually interested in, and how many of them are you just "testing your game" on?

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:31 am 
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Quote:


To say to yourself "you don't care" 100 times while you know you really want the girls is ridiculous. "CARING' about the positive outcome of your efforts is a good thing. Give a quick thought about the history of those who recommend "DON'T CARE" and you will see a bunch of losers who've never accomplished much of anything.

When you "really want" the girl? Why do you "really want" a girl who you haven't even gotten to know? The only thing you can truly tell about a girl through meeting her once at a bar is whether or not you still want to fuck her by the end of the night, or if you want to get to know her more.

And let's face it, if you're cold approaching girl after girl, how many of them are you actually interested in, and how many of them are you just "testing your game" on?
. . . And you might be confusing 'Really wanting a girl' with 'falling in love with a girl'. There's nothing wrong with really WANTING something. If you feel it in your heart, you go for it. . . this is passion. How many people know anything about what they really WANT? (You want something because you do not have it.) Nobody knows about the success of any endeavor until they achieve it. And in order to achieve it, they better really, really want it.

Again, every loser in the World act as if they don't give a shit. They lose before they even begin.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:09 am 
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For some reason, I think you've led yourself to believe that sucking face alone is = a connection strong enough to warrant the girls to be interested in you. The girls see your interactions as a 'crazy bar adventure' because that's EXACTLY what you offer. To go beyond that, there's got to be a connection.
This is spot on. In the beginning I thought making out with the girl showed that she wanted me and makes sure she would keep in touch. Now I realise making out only shows that she wants me in THAT moment. It felt like the whole club environment is just to let go for them and what happens in the club, stays in the club.

In clubs I probably could take them outside and talk with them. But will just talking about her and me really built the connection to go over this 'club-trap', or what kind of connection am I looking for here. Yes I know, this is still thinking in club terms.

I need to meet women in my every-day life to make a real connection, though the jump from clubgame to daygame seems big to me. It seems like I am someone else in the clubs that I can't relate to during the day. I come up with all sorts of excuses and self-doubt when I want to go direct on a girl during the day, while in the club I don't really have this.

I guess it's again doing what you fear in order to get over it.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:32 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
For some reason, I think you've led yourself to believe that sucking face alone is = a connection strong enough to warrant the girls to be interested in you. The girls see your interactions as a 'crazy bar adventure' because that's EXACTLY what you offer. To go beyond that, there's got to be a connection.
This is spot on. In the beginning I thought making out with the girl showed that she wanted me and makes sure she would keep in touch. Now I realise making out only shows that she wants me in THAT moment. It felt like the whole club environment is just to let go for them and what happens in the club, stays in the club.
That's the big difference between a PUA and just a guy who actually cares. A "PUA" won't care so much about the girl, however if you are interested in the girl.. in terms of more then just a ONS, then why not lay the connection. Some girls are easy, others are hard...
Quote:
In clubs I probably could take them outside and talk with them. But will just talking about her and me really built the connection to go over this 'club-trap', or what kind of connection am I looking for here. Yes I know, this is still thinking in club terms.
Club term speaking they are searching for an adventure, a guy with humor but sweet. Combine those 3 and you got a decent chance. Most of the lays you will have will not happen on the same day.. it will take time, that's the connection.
Quote:
I need to meet women in my every-day life to make a real connection, though the jump from clubgame to daygame seems big to me. It seems like I am someone else in the clubs that I can't relate to during the day. I come up with all sorts of excuses and self-doubt when I want to go direct on a girl during the day, while in the club I don't really have this.
Sounds familiar now to me.. really. But the answer to this is simple. In a club you're in an evironment that is "pushed" to meet people. However going out during by day isn't so.. This can be positive or can be negative.. depends on how you center yourself.

Also, you're a dancer.. during day. It's hard to dance completely out "naked" in the streets.. would be cool tho.

≠ LD

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 4:43 pm 
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Hey man, finally took some time to read your journal, forgive me for not doing this earlier.

As others pointed out earlier in this thread, I admire your persistence, but I feel as if it's not only about the girls. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it feels like you want to change your entire life, you want to take on a different lifestyle with more women. Which is good, except for the fact that you're taking this as 'self-improvement'. And 'self-improvement' is never good, because the word improvement states that your persona at this moment is not complete yet, and if you start progressing your life with this mindset, you'll always have a subtle limiting belief in your mind.

Stop saying I want to have women in my life, stop saying I want to be a ladiesman. You should start saying immediately that you are a ladiesman, that you can make girls cream their pants solely on eyecontact, and if you truely believe what you say, you will act to it.


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 8:42 pm 
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Quick update

It has been a long time since I updated my journal.
I'm not practicing infield at the moment, however, after my finals I will again.

This is what happened between last update and now:

I texted the girl three weeks later, because there was a holiday in between and I didn't want to start creating intrigue when I can't meet up with her soon after.

I texted the classic "hey, something just reminded me of you". She followed up with "who is this". I answer "king illogic". This created instant roleplay. I've set the frame of her being the princess and me the king. After a bit of fun with that I asked what she was up to. She was on girls night out, so I told her she isn't allowed to come back the castle drunk. unless (I cut off the text on unless) "unless what??" "unless you sneak some of that booze in the castle for king". She didnt text back for bout an hour, then suddenly "where is your castle?".

Unfortunately logistics weren't on it's place, she was in another city. A week later I tell her to come eat icecream at my place, she said she already had plans. It happened three times that she couldn't come over, each time I texted something in the lines of "no problem, another time! x" not putting any pressure on her.

Eventually the fourth try she came over. When she was here I put on some music and started dancing with her, while talking with her. After a few minutes I pushed her against my wall and started making out with her. That night we didn't have sex, I fingered her and made her come two times and she tried to jack me off, but her arm got tired lol.

I can't remember all the things that happened after this. I managed her expectations and she seemed up for an open relationship. She has come over a couple of times more and we're having sex.

In other news I started flirting again with a girl I've met a few months ago. I was sending funny double meaning messages and she wanted to meet up with me when she's visiting my town again in 2 months. It was really obvious that it was for sex, so I told her I interpret everything she says as something sexual. She told me she didn't want to brag, but that I won't be bored when she comes over. Let's see how that will go, lol.


lessons learned

- Don't be pushy when trying to meet up, but keep making oportunities
- Roleplay is awesome
- Girls have weak arms


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 7:22 am 
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u can learn lots from this dude


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PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2012 5:00 pm 
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It's been a while since I've updated the journal, it might be a bad timing to start again, because my finals start in a few weeks, however I'll try to meet as much girls as I can meanwhile ;)

Last weeks update:

LR: effortless

Clubbing with some friends and I see a cute girl dancing in front of the DJ booth. I start dancing next to her and turn myself facing towards her. She looks back at me so I put a smile on my face and say "Sup chillster" and high five her.
I continue with "you look kind of cool" and then I turn back to my friends. Later that evening I saw that she was leaving so I walk up to her and said "chillster, you leaving allready?" She told me something along the lines of "yes". I follow up by saying "tell me your name" she answered, asked my name and then I ended the conversation by saying "Well, see you next wednesday!".

The next wednesday she's indeed bck at the club, but I don't put any attention on her yet. I'm having a blast with my friends and they keep telling me "dude, that chick is looking at you the whole time". Later that night I catch her looking at me again, so I walk up and say hi. I just start dancing next to her again and tell her I'm leaving shortly after. She quickly asks my number and full name, I reply and leave.

She texted a few times, but I didn't really care so I replied shortly or not at all. Pressure was on her (it seems like whenever I like a girl and start caring, I fuck up with texting, but when I don't care it goes much better ) One week later I'm clubbing again, properly drunk and see her standing outside of a club. She drags me into a club, starts dancing with me. I tell her to go to
another club, she follows and when we arrive there she starts grinding me like crazy. I see she wans to make out with me, so I tell her "you know, I don't want anything serious, just physical and fun". She tells me tha the same counts for her.

So I push her against a wall and start a wild makeout session. She grinds me, puts my hands between her legs. After a while we go out of the club and she tells me I should come home with her, on which I reply passively and still drunk "yeayea.. whatever you want, I follow". We walk to her place and I'm saying all the time that we're not going to do anything, coz we're too drunk. So naturally when we arrive at her place and I throw my drunk ass on her bed and tell her to put on a disney movie. She does and then crawls upon me. I was laying back and pulled her shirt off, she on her turn pulled my shirt off on which i replied by pulling her pants and panties off in one time. I started rubbing her clit and put alot of effort in trying to make her come, but it didn't happen. She told me she wanted me so I put on a rubber, pull my pants and boxershorts to my knees (still having my shoes on lol) and start fucking her. Just when I was bout to come I pull out and see the condom had boken. I didn't want to keep fucking her without a condom so I started fingering her again. Afterwards we talked a bit and then I went back home.

It was funny how effortless it was because I hadn't had sex in a while.


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PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2012 6:27 pm 
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She literally picked you up. She went caveman and escalated you gave LMR. haha

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PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2012 6:43 pm 
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She literally picked you up. She went caveman and escalated you gave LMR. haha
Hehe, yes, which is exactly the purpose of the attitude I'm trying out: getting her to chase you. Giving her a little, pull back. Get her intrigued and frame that she is the one trying to seduce you. This works best on confident chicks.


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