My first approaching attempts



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:06 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:18 pm
Posts: 5
I've recently started reading and listening some PUA programs to improve my social skills. After being in a bunch of social occasions and failing terribly (being in a group of 5 girls and 1 guy and saying pretty much nothing for example) i decided i had to start approaching some women!

I left home early and went for a walk decided to approach every minimally hot girl i'd find. And i failed to approach each and everyone of them. 5 hours past, i start heading back home. I pass near this girl who starts looking at me (i keep looking) and when she averts her eyes, she smiles! But still no approaching...

Another 5 hours later i had to go shopping, so i leave home with the same mentality (and results). When i'm about to leave the supermarket, i see this gorgeous japanese 5 set (girls, not tableware in case you were wondering). Being a Japan maniac i knew i HAD to approach this girls, but I pass by them a few times and i do nothing...

Just when i'm about to leave i see two of them paying (in the self-pay machines) and i head to them, i tap one's shoulder and say: "Gomenasai, anata wa nihongo desu ka?" (which is rough japanese for: "Sorry, are you japanese?").
My heart is pounding in my chest and they look at each other and giggle. I switch to english and ask them the same question, and if they understood me, etc. All i get is 1 word answers, and then i go blank! I had nothing else to say, so i just excuse myself and head on my way...


Even though i wasn't able to close (or even keep the conversation going) i'm fairly happy with this experience. I managed to approach a 2 set which was something i had been lacking.
If any of you has any tips or comments feel free to post them.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:08 am 
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Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2009 5:39 am
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Yahoo Messenger: pa17_im@yahoo.com
Location: Mexico
Hey man.. i read tru your post and I thought to myself " ive been there "..

and yes we've all been there, waiting anxiously for our bodys to naturally react... waiting for our mind to betray our fears and our mouth opens and ... waiting for the perfect conversation to magically start, or just waiting for something to happen tha will make them talk to you.

But the truth is NO, that doesnt happen, you make it happen, and if you dont, some one else will. But no sweat because ive got great news for you.

THis happens, its very common.

Some practical excercises:

(THE RULES OF THE GAME, Neil Strauss)(with variation)

1 week, each day aproach at least 10 total strangers and start a conversation. might be about anything, the wheather, sports, traffic, new products, politics, fashion, animals.. whatever you like it.. you dont even have to keep the conversation going, just start it.
Even if the answer is a monosilable YES or NO, you won the test; You started a conversation or at least aproached a stranger.

This is only for you to calibrate the different responses you might get when talking or aproaching a stranger, might be a man, a woman, a kid, and old man, a homeless person, a waiter, waitress, policeman.

Get the calibration in the field, talk to as many stranges as possible. Plus, if youre totally new into this "new social skillset" you will feel a rush of emotions when you star aproaching people.

This is very effective and helpful, please do it.


Another thing you can do is:

1 week, each day, every time you see a pretty girl, compliement her on something shes wearing, might be her dress, her neclkace, her bracelet, shoes, pants.. whatever... on the street, on the bus, at work, at school. anywhere is a good place to recieve a compliement, right? Wouldnt you like to be compliemented by a young lady on your way to work while youre walking?.. wouldnt you feel nice?

Even if the girl isnt that pretty, you aproach her anyways and compliement her on something and most important of all, dont expect any response. Most commonly a girl will say "thanks" "thank you" "nice to hear that" "you look nice too"... etc etc..
just compliement. then get out. ( if get into a conversation over that, dont expect any results of the convo, if possible get her number. then get out )

Theres a phrase that says ... caring too much about the outcome of any given pick up, wether its good or bad outcome can be insidious to your game, if you get rejected or treated rudely, move on. people that give bad things recieve bad things.

on the other hand if she gives you her number and everything. dont get too excited, go out if possible but please dont fall in love or get the one-itis.

PLus its better for you not to expect any particular outcome of a pick up.

The idea is to get your brain working on talking. talking on anything you can, aproaching strangers and calibrating on their responses. lets say during a week you aproached 15 girls each day ( remember, total strangers you can find em anywhere ) and its 7 days a week, so its 15 X 7 =..... 105
lets say you aproach an average per week of 100 girls. what do you think is the percetage of those 100 girls that will engage a conversation with you

must be at least a minimum 20 %
so you say that during a week you might have a 100 % chance getting into a conversation with 20 girls
just 20 out of 100
and even if you dont make it to 100 you could say that minimum you aproach 10 girls per day meaning per week 70
average 20 % from 70 = 14 girls per week

and just by starting a conversation on anything you want, or if you like it, a compliement. are you following me?

(NOTE: if you aproach some1 on the street remember to speak out loud and looking at her, so you get her attention at least for a sec. and also remember to go out well groomed and smiling =D

NOW come on, dont be shy, the world is out there and you dont want to miss it. REmember, to read theory, but most of all, practice, and go out a lot !!! and I MEAN A LOT !!!...
GAme on !!

Good LUCK.

_________________
".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "


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 Post subject: Try this buddy.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:50 am 
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MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 3:23 am
Posts: 76
Location: Utah
Go there and really apply this. It's easy. remember when your observing to think of opener. I liked to write the stuff down while I'm sitting at the mall.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKXXStWaDlQ

This will work you just got to push yourself.

_________________
If you hesitate, you masturbate!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:52 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:18 pm
Posts: 5
thanks for the reply :D
I'm already trying to approach any girl i see, but i was expecting to keep going the conversation. I guess i'll just talk to them and keep going...


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 Post subject: MM
PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:22 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 8:20 am
Posts: 49
Location: Springfield, MO, U.S.
I'm still a huge fan of the MM and being non outcome oriented. You really have nothing to lose this way. All you have to do is figure out which of the set is the target, open the obstacle, and draw them in. The opener is meant to be what is referred to as "chick crack" and the rest is easy. Just keep THEM talking and jumping through YOUR hoops. On youtube there is a video of Style on the TV show The View. If you can get the women in your set to act like these women you will have no problem. Also women LOVE negs!! SERIOUSLY!!!! Any woman with a sense of humor likes being given a hard time!! The hardest part about negs is figuring out what is playful and what is just downright mean/rude. If you can keep the playful vibe going... again you will have no problem. Tonight I commented on a girls hat and she said she stole it from someone. She then said that stealing hats from people was what she did for a living. I replied with "So what you're telling me is that you're homeless." She told me that she lived in a box around the back of the building we were in and I commented on how lucky she was to live around so many restaurants that she could dumpster dive at. On the surface the conversation seems so meaningless but on a deeper level it's building a connection. Concentrate on the process rather than the outcome and BE a demonstration of higher value.

_________________
A belief is a thought you make real.


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