FR: Mindset = vibe = results



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:55 pm 
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Very small example, and even though the girl in the example is not one I'm hitting on, it's the behavior involving her which gives you high social value, and will get you layed eventually ;)

Small party with some very new friends, HB (the "alpha girl" of the party) is dancing by herself in front of us, her boyfriend is sitting near her. I tell her she would love Hip Hop dancing classes, it would suit her style of dancing. She's immediately interested, and says hell yeah I'll go, where is it? And I immediately realised that this situation is exactly what you'd want if you were trying to hit on a girl, eg. it's a time-bridge. And everyone with half a brain watching, can see that.

Freeze-frame, while I narrate;

This is one of the many places where the mindset affects your choices. If I was a guy thinking "Damn I have to try anything and everything to get attention from girls!" I might have felt that I had to act "cool" now, because I had the attention of the girl. This would have gone downhill, steadily and surely. Here's what really happened.

My mindset, for the entire night, at that small party with only one single girl who was a bit of a dodgey choice anyway, was that "I can get a girl ANY time I want. I'm not looking tonight."

Unfreeze...

On realising what it looked like, I immediately looked to the boyfriend, and then back again to the girl, while talking to her, as if to talk to them both. He was looking back, and I'm 100% certain he knew what I was doing, at least on a subconsious level. As she asked more questions, and even said "Wow, can you take me there?" I made it even more obvious that I was directing my words at both of them, even when I answered "Yeah sure, you'll love it - " when I continued talking about how cool hip hop dancing is, I even held eye contact with him longer than I did her, and he was nodding and listening to what I had to say. He was talking at one point too. It became obvious that I was not hitting on her, and it also became obvious that he was cool with it, and wasn't interested in going to dancing classes himself.



Later in the night, one of the female friends of the HB came in, very intoxicated, and I got up and offered my chair immediately, getting her attention and telling her she needed this chair more than I did. She seemed releived, and as there were no other chairs, HB said "Do you wanna sit on my lap?" She's a touchy feely girl and does stuff like this with all her good friends, so this was a sign that I was getting more inside her circle of friends. I still had my mentality - I didn't have to conciously think about it either. Possibly I cast a small glance at her boyfriend but in this specific situation it might've been too much - the point is I had the right mentality, the rest just happens. I know I looked at her lap and stood there half smiling for a bit. He wasn't even looking at me and he made a guesture with his hand and said "Yeah go for it" in a reassuring way, and HB her self said something too, like "I don't mind" - all that happened in a split second, and I came up with "Alright, if you're offering..." and sat down. Then to make the situation even more "comfortable" if that makes sense, I said "But I have a really bony bum" and she said "Just sit diagonally, it'll be cool" even as I was shuffling myself into that position.

And then we must have spent 5 mins like this while the entire group was chatting, and whenever she moved about, she didn't care that our arms were touching, also that there was no where else for my closer arm to go than behind her back, and I still maintained the body language of being comfortable but not getting too affectionate. I even passed a cigarette from HB's friend, putting it directly in HB's mouth.


Can you imagine the effect this would have on other single girls in the room? The hottest girl in the room is very friendly with me, right next to her boyfriend. I must be pretty cool huh? (Too bad there was only one other single girl there and she wasn't even around at the time, hahah) Also after that night I'm definetly more a part of their social group than I was before that night.

And none of this would have happened if I hadn't chosen my goals or mentality (or however you want to put it) and got comfortable in it.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 12:45 am 
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Great stuff man! Way to work it and not get the bf pissed by getting his approval and not avoiding him in conversations. Next, do all this with a single hb! :)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:02 am 
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Thanks! I think the most important thing to learn here is that what I did here probably won't work on a single girl, I might have to do more to catch her interest because she's more defensive.... such as... getting along well with the hottest girl in the room and her boyfriend!

If you're just spending the night hopping from girl to girl, people will see this, and just think "Sleeze."


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