Every now and again I have a night where I feel like someone somewhere is sticking pins in a little voodoo Milo. Last night in Kaos was like that. I arrived in good state feeling happy and charged, however over the course of the night this mood got gradually lowered by continual blow outs. The very first set of the night was the ultimate blow out, although it made me laugh so I didn't care, I was like "did you guys hear about that penguin knighthood?" To which one of the girls replied "Did you hear about my arsehole?", then they both walked off, lolll. What can I say about that?
Next set was very receptive, same opener to a quick hook and before long I was sitting next to this hb6blonde, who was giving me tons of iois. Mr Slice was doing well also, and although their friends were coming over they were being sent away by our targets who wanted to stay with us. All very well, we moved in from the smoking area to dance, but somehow we lost them on the way in. I don't know how this happened, but at the time I didn't really care as it was only a warm up set, and I expected i'd bump into them later at some point.
In the next set I got amoged horridly by the girls boyfriend who came and stood between me and the girl with his back to me. This was after I'd only said about 4 words to the girl, and it was annoying as hell. I grabbed his arm and started chatting to him, but he ignored me totally. With verbal amog tactics you can always respond verbally, but how do you respond to a purely physical amog moves? Punching him in the face perhaps? This didn't seem like a very useful thing to do so I ejected.
The next few sets were very brief encounters, not exactly rejections, but just short exchanges that didn't hook and the girls moved on. Gradually I could feel my positive energy draining. This meant that as time passed my approaches were done out more out of nessesity than desire, meaning my body language may have suffered, and i had more dependance on the sets' reactions. This mind set is a recipe for disaster.
At one point I was with Wishbone who suggested I opened a girl sitting with her friends dressed as alice in wonderland. My weak state made caused me to make huge and basic mistakes, eg. I addressed only her and not her friends, it was loud so I leaned in too much etc. I felt it was crumbling as I tried to transition and she gave me the 'who the fuck are you anyway?' look and turned to her friend telling her I was hitting on her and could she tell me to go away. lol. Ok then. I laughed and Said some kind of shes not my type excuse and ejected.
On one occasion Wishbone and I were in the smoking area when we approached the set with the penguin opener again. (The less in state I am the more I depend on reusing openers, tonight I never got beyond this stage. Usually I'm able to open naturally after 3/4 warm ups.) At first the girls were very cynical, but I felt my girl beginning to hook. Howvever it was an unusually flimsy kind of hook. She stopped being moody, but she gave me no iois and just spoke normally. The conversation was quite interesting, I made her laugh a bit, I could tell she found me interesting, but for some reson there was no attraction. Recently what I have been doing is assuming attraction, rather than trying to DHV too much. This is because usually talking in an interesting way with enthusuam, getting to the emotional core of the topic, and having strong eye contact and Kino is enough to squeeze out some iois. Not this time. I felt like I was talking to someones Grandma.
PUAs continually tell us that there is no reason to care what people think of us. On an intellectual level I totally believe this, but I still find it difficult to maintain a strong energy without a bit of positivity being fed back to me by my sets. Its not that I care about the blow outs themselves, its just a lack of positivity in the environment leaves me feeling a bit empty.
This is what I'm going to do to try and avoid nights like this again:
1. Perform at least 2 kamaksi sets per night. That is open at least 2 sets with rediculous openers, break all the rules and fuck about. Deliberatly looking for funny blow outs, so I can learn to see the funny side of rejection. Usually I'm very good at this, but tonight I lost my sense of humour slightly.
2. Change my approach and opening style if for some reason I'm not getting the responses I expect. Using the penguin opener over and over again, was actually a pretty stupid move, as essentially I was anchoring myself to the previous rejection by following the same avenues of conversation that had just failed.
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