The f is this???



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 Post subject: The f is this???
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 2:54 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 3:28 pm
Posts: 14
Beta here. Working on it.

Had a weird situation occur. I assume she was letting me off gently. But I thought I'd check for your thoughts.

So this girl, we'll call her Sally. I've known her for about 2 years, and in no way has she been on my radar for more than a year. She has an autoimmune disease that makes her life complicated, but otherwise. Extrenely pretty girl. I'd say we were just friends, I had assumed she felt the same way.

Shes moving and needed help, she asked me and another guy to help. Her mother and aunt, and basically her entire family became infatuated with me, and whenever I wasn't present started telling Sally " You should date him " You'd have the cutest babies" and all that crap. I know because she told me. I thought it was funny.

We went out for dinner as a group after the move and that's when Sally started acting differently. She said things like " You're scoring major points with my family, and its working on me" " If we ever go on a date, don't take me to a place like this" and touching my arm as she said them.
Her mom invited me to come to their family thanksgiving. I declined with a generic excuse. Shortly after, when her family wasn't present, Sally says "Please come. It'll be fun"
So I agreed.

Now last night, she sends me text rant about how shes not ready for a boyfriend and she wanted to make sure I knew that before going.

I should point out that I haven't been flirting with her. At all. I can't think of any reason why she would think I'm pursuing her.

I assume shes just mistaken my intentions and is trying to kill it early. But then again, I am also an idiot. Is it possible she wants more, but is backtracking because I haven't shown any real interest or flirted with her? I've been nothing but a good friend and haven't even tried to create attraction.

So wtf is this? Letting me down gently? Or is there more to it then that


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 Post subject: Re: The f is this???
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:07 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:17 pm
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Location: Los Angeles
What are you hoping for from her? This post reads like a guy that actually wants the girl but is scared to go for her. The bottom line is that she is throwing hint after hint after hint after hint after hint at you and you aren't doing anything. But the moment that she SAYS that she doesn't want a boyfriend, you start getting confused. If you only saw her as a friend, it seems that you would be a bit relieved with that bit of information.


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 Post subject: Re: The f is this???
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:45 pm 
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Im not really wanting a girlfriend. I thought we were just friends. So it was kind of a relief to hear.

But

Shes sexy enough that I'm willing to adapt to the situation if its changing.

But

she has cute friends that I'd also like to meet, so I don't want to make it weird if I'm reading it wrong.

Should probably just grow a pair, I guess.


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 Post subject: Re: The f is this???
PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2017 6:00 am 
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Posts: 2865
I appreciate your honesty man it is VERY refreshing.

Honestly, you need to go speak to strange women and develop the gift of gab. You need to show women nonverbally in a socially calibrated manner that you'd most definitely smash if they're down.

In regards to her "I'm not down with anything serious" response, I agree with you that it's probably a stew of your disinterest and her confusion.

Literally nevermind this girl or her friends and go implement in the field by putting your balls on the line and speaking to women. You don't have to be a chodelord and tell her you thought she was cute as the opener which she has already heard 4 times today. You can talk to her in a normal fashion and get some sparks going as long as your nonverbal intent is where it should be. So try that.

As to thanksgiving or whatever, just put it all out of your mind - put her and her friends out of your mind - go cultivate what you deserve on your own. You can do this.


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 Post subject: Re: The f is this???
PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2017 2:39 pm 
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That sounds about right.

I'll do that

Thanks


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