Quote:
meet up with this girl tonight didn't go well she was probably the first person i talk to all day.......i couldn't hold a convo she was in control of the convo... we didnt have a place to actually hangout tonight so we went to the park....and for some reason i thought i had to build comfort and attraction with her in person again (since i did through text already) before i can escalate make out with her and foreplay and so on but i didnt know how to do it...when i had her in the park i was to stuck in my head not doing the thing i know i should by taking action and escalating....was afraid or nervous.....being reaction seeking towards her....total time of hanging out was half an hour...i need to work on my inner game some more and talking to girls better. also i keep focusing on the negative parts of my nights or set when they dont go the way i planned because i use to be good at this before and i expect more in my sets. how do i change this to positive thinking and stop dwelling on the - so i can slowly get better.... and what do you guy recommend i should for inner game. such as confidence or higher self esteem what else does inner game involve?
As for when you are out there, stop being in your head so much, and make more moves. One of the problems with pickup is we fill our brains with all this damn knowledge and we over analyze everything. We sound like a pro golfer going over in our heads a 6 foot put, well the angle slopes this way, and the speed of the green is this, and I need to hit it just this hard for the maximum.... It can be simplified into - Just put the damn ball in the damn hole!
Keep it simple, go with your gut, your gut is your operational antennae for what needs to happen next, feel you way through it, stop thinking. Girls aren't logical anyways.
I'll give you my answer to your question about inner game but honestly you probably won't want to hear it. You need to leave women alone for a good while (3-6 months) go out and just be yourself. Find things to do you have always wanted to do or enjoy (skiing, skydiving, dancing, play basketball on a team, shoot guns, surf, or whatever.) For guys I highly recommend physical activities. When you become more confident in who you are and what you can accomplish on your own you won't really care a lot about the girls reactions.
It wasn't until I took a brief break from women all together took time to be myself, and figure out what I enjoyed doing that it clicked for me. As I went out and went on hard hikes, took new classes, pushed myself to do new things, traveled, volunteered, pushed out of my comfort zone to see what I was capable of, I realized a lot about myself. I knew at the core who I was and what I was about.
When you start to identify who you really are, embrace your past good or bad, forgive others who have wronged you in your life so that they have no power over you, and these things that you really build yourself up. Then it honestly won't matter if the girl says let's jump into bed, or kiss her ass. You are good and happy being you, and she should would be lucky to have you.