New Years FR+



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 Post subject: New Years FR+
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 4:15 am 
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Hey guys, I'm new to this so I figured I'd introduce myself with a little field report.

On New Years a friend of mine and I went down to his girls place to meet up with her and a friend of hers. We had introductions and were doing a little partying before a punk rock show which we were going to. Things seemed to be going well, his girl's friend was an HB10 so I was a little intimidated but managed to play it cool. What I mean by that is that I tried to use good body language, good eye contact, and smooth conversation while trying to not come off as thirsty. We found some common ground in a band, and that we were both light eyed gingers. I am generally pretty quiet and at one point she was asking if I was really stoned (which I was so that sidestepped the quietness at times).

So we went to the show, I wasn't too sure where I stood but I wasn't too concerned because I told myself I was there to see the band (as an attempt to avoid getting hopes up, and self sabatoging). We all cruised around the venue a bit and had a few drinks as there were a few bands before the one we came to see. I had seen a bunch of friends in the process which I felt was a good display of not needing her validation because I had a bunch of friends there. As the night went on she kept separating from us and as one of the hottest girls there was a magnet for thirsty guys. At the same time she is in the process of getting divorced so she it kind of eating it up, taking pictures, getting drinks etc. Eventually I was kind of fed up and instead of validating the thirstiness I said to myself “I don't need to come off as a puppy” so I abandoned the group and did my own thing for a bit.

My friend came and chased me down saying WTF are you doing, she's into you, your blowing it... Followed by my girl thought you were in a relationship with our other friend that we were hanging out with on halloween and so she didn't think you were available. So I went back in and found her, and attempted a natural neg about what's with it seeming like she was trying to lose the group.
So we all stepped out to smoke a joint and there was yet another group on the hunt. At one point during this time (of the second groups sarge attempt) she looked back at me and asked if I had herpes. To which I gave her a confused look and was like “uh, NO!” to which she said, well so far your in the lead.

So we go back in and she wants to buy me a drink, so in an attempt to be a gentleman I asked to instead buy her a drink, then when she declined that I said or maybe we can just buy our own drinks. She gestured to come and I took her wrist as she lead the way through the crowd to the bar, and I think moved to holding her hand along the way. She bought me a drink and I drank it. Then she was saying she was hungry so I bought her pizza. There was a snafu and she dropped her piece on the ground but there was a second piece which I didn't want to eat anyway so I hooked her up with it and we moved to a better spot to eat.

While she was eating we were talking a bit, I cleared up the misunderstanding about being involved already. It was loud so we were close, I think I had my hand on her waist. Out of no where some random chick (maybe a 6) is attempting to intrude. She was being rude and HB10 was making small reactions to it. At one point (6) was like I'm bored, I think I just want to go home (from what I could tell an attempt to pull me off the HB10 and maybe home {probably just cock blocking , but maybe true drunken desperation with a lazy execution}). I was like ah, bummer, have fun! I could tell we were both over it, and in an attempt to keep us on the high road I thought, perfect time to kiss her!

I went for it, she seemed fairly receptive and let me kiss her for a few seconds. Then I think I pulled back so I didn't seem too thirsty. I thanked her (as in from saving me from (6)) but also followed up with I had been waiting all night for an excuse to do that ( maybe a fail, wrong wording I think).

After that she started getting weird again, saying she wasn't really that interested in the band we came to see after complaining up to this point how they were up yet. Things started to seem to fall apart as I was told she was going to leave, and then had left. I was a little bummed but was still psyched to finally kiss a girl on new years and probably my first HB10 at that. Also my friends girl was surprised I kissed her cause apparently she is anti-ginger mating ( funny though not like she is abstained) I enjoyed the rest of the show, then we froze outside trying to get a ride home. Once back and my friends girls house, she is trying ot track down HB 10 as she is worried about her saftey and hadn't really heard from her much after they separated. We hung out a bit more as she tried in vain to contact HB10, then pass out. Around sunrise HB10 finds her way back and I greet her with a good morning, are you ok? She explains what transpired when we separated, tried to call a guy friend for a ride and place to crash, was aggressively pursued and she ended up punching him in the face before catching a ride back to us. In the process she stated she doesn't like smokers since the aggressor was a smoker (I smoke but didn't say anything about it.) she was also saying she didn't want/mean to leave and it was a communication breakdown between her and her friend.

After the brief conversation we both crashed out for a bit (I stayed on the floor in front of the fire where I was, tending the fire and she slept on the couch beside me). We both were up again before the others so we were having what seemed like some nice and genuine conversation. At one point she mentioned that she wouldn't have found herself in that situation if she had either mine or my buddies number. I didn't know if I would ever see her again so I didn't feel that was a great op to close on her number.

The rest woke up and we were all hanging out as the ladies made us some breakfast while rocking out to some throwback tunes. Somehow we were talking about smoking again and She mentioned She quit 4 years ago so I mentioned that I still smoke and She apologised for talking trash about smoking earlier (is that an IOI? I feel like there were a number of them in hindsight but am not certain). She mentioned to the others about she wouldn't have been in the situation if she had our numbers but again, didn't seem like a good time to number close. I'm second guessing if this was a second fail but I figure maybe it prevents me from coming off as and having more opportunities to seem thirsty. It was time to go, we made a solid eye contact and held it (which happened through out the previous evening fairly regularly), she said it was great meeting me, I said it was great meeting her and I left after also thanking her friend for the hospitality and invite. Last night we tried to meet up with them again and my friends girl again brought up the anti-ginger thing and also that she is into Asians. Not sure if she's cock blocking or if she is trying to spare me. We went out they decided not to come.

I know I am probably just an AFC and I should GFTOW, and not get wrapped up into ONE ITIS but I would like to know how I did, what went well, what should have been avoided, and if there is any merit it continuing to pursue this one and if so what might be a good way to go about it? (obviously I need to rely on my friends girl to make it happen). This is my first post, hopefully I didn't butcher it too much, plus I am semi new to this whole PUA thing aside from reading some David D. years ago and not feeling like I improved. This is one of very few things I have interest in but have not put in enough to master it, but I am excited to give it another shot. I am so happy to have found such wonderful resources for honing the Art. There is a ton to learn and keep track of and I have plenty of room for improvement.


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 Post subject: Re: New Years FR+
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 10:35 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:14 pm
Posts: 689
Quote:
Hey guys, I'm new to this so I figured I'd introduce myself with a little field report.

On New Years a friend of mine and I went down to his girls place to meet up with her and a friend of hers. We had introductions and were doing a little partying before a punk rock show which we were going to. Things seemed to be going well, his girl's friend was an HB10 so I was a little intimidated but managed to play it cool. What I mean by that is that I tried to use good body language, good eye contact, and smooth conversation while trying to not come off as thirsty. We found some common ground in a band, and that we were both light eyed gingers. I am generally pretty quiet and at one point she was asking if I was really stoned (which I was so that sidestepped the quietness at times).

So we went to the show, I wasn't too sure where I stood but I wasn't too concerned because I told myself I was there to see the band (as an attempt to avoid getting hopes up, and self sabatoging). We all cruised around the venue a bit and had a few drinks as there were a few bands before the one we came to see. I had seen a bunch of friends in the process which I felt was a good display of not needing her validation because I had a bunch of friends there. As the night went on she kept separating from us and as one of the hottest girls there was a magnet for thirsty guys. At the same time she is in the process of getting divorced so she it kind of eating it up, taking pictures, getting drinks etc. Eventually I was kind of fed up and instead of validating the thirstiness I said to myself “I don't need to come off as a puppy” so I abandoned the group and did my own thing for a bit.

My friend came and chased me down saying WTF are you doing, she's into you, your blowing it... Followed by my girl thought you were in a relationship with our other friend that we were hanging out with on halloween and so she didn't think you were available. So I went back in and found her, and attempted a natural neg about what's with it seeming like she was trying to lose the group.
So we all stepped out to smoke a joint and there was yet another group on the hunt. At one point during this time (of the second groups sarge attempt) she looked back at me and asked if I had herpes. To which I gave her a confused look and was like “uh, NO!” to which she said, well so far your in the lead.

So we go back in and she wants to buy me a drink, so in an attempt to be a gentleman I asked to instead buy her a drink, then when she declined that I said or maybe we can just buy our own drinks. She gestured to come and I took her wrist as she lead the way through the crowd to the bar, and I think moved to holding her hand along the way. She bought me a drink and I drank it. Then she was saying she was hungry so I bought her pizza. There was a snafu and she dropped her piece on the ground but there was a second piece which I didn't want to eat anyway so I hooked her up with it and we moved to a better spot to eat.

While she was eating we were talking a bit, I cleared up the misunderstanding about being involved already. It was loud so we were close, I think I had my hand on her waist. Out of no where some random chick (maybe a 6) is attempting to intrude. She was being rude and HB10 was making small reactions to it. At one point (6) was like I'm bored, I think I just want to go home (from what I could tell an attempt to pull me off the HB10 and maybe home {probably just cock blocking , but maybe true drunken desperation with a lazy execution}). I was like ah, bummer, have fun! I could tell we were both over it, and in an attempt to keep us on the high road I thought, perfect time to kiss her!

I went for it, she seemed fairly receptive and let me kiss her for a few seconds. Then I think I pulled back so I didn't seem too thirsty. I thanked her (as in from saving me from (6)) but also followed up with I had been waiting all night for an excuse to do that ( maybe a fail, wrong wording I think).

After that she started getting weird again, saying she wasn't really that interested in the band we came to see after complaining up to this point how they were up yet. Things started to seem to fall apart as I was told she was going to leave, and then had left. I was a little bummed but was still psyched to finally kiss a girl on new years and probably my first HB10 at that. Also my friends girl was surprised I kissed her cause apparently she is anti-ginger mating ( funny though not like she is abstained) I enjoyed the rest of the show, then we froze outside trying to get a ride home. Once back and my friends girls house, she is trying ot track down HB 10 as she is worried about her saftey and hadn't really heard from her much after they separated. We hung out a bit more as she tried in vain to contact HB10, then pass out. Around sunrise HB10 finds her way back and I greet her with a good morning, are you ok? She explains what transpired when we separated, tried to call a guy friend for a ride and place to crash, was aggressively pursued and she ended up punching him in the face before catching a ride back to us. In the process she stated she doesn't like smokers since the aggressor was a smoker (I smoke but didn't say anything about it.) she was also saying she didn't want/mean to leave and it was a communication breakdown between her and her friend.

After the brief conversation we both crashed out for a bit (I stayed on the floor in front of the fire where I was, tending the fire and she slept on the couch beside me). We both were up again before the others so we were having what seemed like some nice and genuine conversation. At one point she mentioned that she wouldn't have found herself in that situation if she had either mine or my buddies number. I didn't know if I would ever see her again so I didn't feel that was a great op to close on her number.

The rest woke up and we were all hanging out as the ladies made us some breakfast while rocking out to some throwback tunes. Somehow we were talking about smoking again and She mentioned She quit 4 years ago so I mentioned that I still smoke and She apologised for talking trash about smoking earlier (is that an IOI? I feel like there were a number of them in hindsight but am not certain). She mentioned to the others about she wouldn't have been in the situation if she had our numbers but again, didn't seem like a good time to number close. I'm second guessing if this was a second fail but I figure maybe it prevents me from coming off as and having more opportunities to seem thirsty. It was time to go, we made a solid eye contact and held it (which happened through out the previous evening fairly regularly), she said it was great meeting me, I said it was great meeting her and I left after also thanking her friend for the hospitality and invite. Last night we tried to meet up with them again and my friends girl again brought up the anti-ginger thing and also that she is into Asians. Not sure if she's cock blocking or if she is trying to spare me. We went out they decided not to come.

I know I am probably just an AFC and I should GFTOW, and not get wrapped up into ONE ITIS but I would like to know how I did, what went well, what should have been avoided, and if there is any merit it continuing to pursue this one and if so what might be a good way to go about it? (obviously I need to rely on my friends girl to make it happen). This is my first post, hopefully I didn't butcher it too much, plus I am semi new to this whole PUA thing aside from reading some David D. years ago and not feeling like I improved. This is one of very few things I have interest in but have not put in enough to master it, but I am excited to give it another shot. I am so happy to have found such wonderful resources for honing the Art. There is a ton to learn and keep track of and I have plenty of room for improvement.
She was into you but in your effort to pretend that you were non-needy you fucked up your chances by refusing to take the initiative.

She ditched you most likely because there was another guy who liked her (and possibly that she was interested in) somewhere there, or who was trying to get in contact with her. A girl isn't going to "ask for a place to crash" with a random guy, obviously there's more going on that she didn't let on to, but that matters little now.

She basically asked you twice for your number and you didn't give it to her. She apologised for ACCIDENTALLY trash talking you because you were a smoker and you didn't realise. You had multiple opportunities to escalate but totally ignored them. She offered to buy you a drink which you tried to one-up for some strange reason.

You have the power in this situation. Yes, she likes you. However, this does NOT mean she's going to be open forever. GET HER NUMBER. Invite her out. Then escalate. Then invite her to yours or somehwere you can escalate/have sex IF she still seems into you.


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 Post subject: Re: New Years FR+
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2016 12:20 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:59 pm
Posts: 2
Thanks for the insight. If I get the chance again I will make sure to # close early and be better about escalation. In spite of my shortcomings I am still happy that I managed to kiss what is at this point the hottest girl I ever have. Even if it mostly fell into my lap and my game is rusty and patchy it's still a confidence boost. Until then I'll keep studying and practicing so I am less oblivious and more effective. I know I should have been more proactive (though not always sure what's best at a given time) and I need to improve at reading these situations and escalating.

But thats why I am here posting my story, for constructive criticism and to make an effort to better myself.


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