Boyo's Journal



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 Post subject: Boyo's Journal
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:42 pm 
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10th June 12'

First off: Kudos to Tweedy and AFC Daniel, read your posts out of curiosity and got hooked on both of them. They gave me the drive to start my own.

ok.. quick background i guess.

Im 23, just finished with a 3 year relationship. It Hit me hard, i wont lie. Its been two weeks, so i need to get back on my feet. But everything is just.. a blur..uncertain. Things are pretty good otherwise - just not on the women front.

My Goals

-Ultimately...to find "the one" - the only way im going to do that is get out there and learn how to pull! - and have fun in the process :P
-carry out the newbie task
-Familiarise myself with my AE (Approach Excitement) - have no fear approaching super hot women
-remember some Openers - learn the difference and apply Direct and non direct.
-Learn what to say to them once youve said hi (easily my weakest part!)
- Get good at day time game (will expand when i get to it)
- Get good at night time game
- Reach Top 20 in a Triathlon race (-keen runner/swimmer/cyclist! - keeps me toned and fit - but not massive - im 6"4 already!)

thats about it.. ill edit when i think of more - also if anyone has any PUA suggestions to put up there just lemme know. Its not quite a climb such as Tweeby's, fair play to him, but its a mountain nonetheless.

So tomorrow is Sunday, im going to go out to the nearest shopping centre by myself and say "hi" to every single damn bird there - even if shes a monstrosity. its all experience.

Wish me Luck

Boyo


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:58 pm 
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Hey again Boyo. Just came across this thread in the unanswered posts part. I'm glad you're making such steps to improve your game. If you keep this thread updated me, and certainly other PUAs will gladly help you on your journey. The newbie mission is a really good idea, as well as the Triathlon, just to keep you fit, and give you some other activities besides PUA. Good luck!

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:12 pm 
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Thanks again In$inct your being a great help and support.

11 June 12'

ok, so i didnt make it out on the sunday like i said. To be fair ive come down with the serious case of man-flu. Today i felt more human so i got out of bed, tidied myself up a bit and at the least got myself out to the local shopping centre.

I didnt attempt at saying "hi" to any girls - i sound like i have tissue up my nose.

So instead i worked and practiced on eye contact, letting them break it first, and working on my cheeky/natural smile. - it works! i got smiles back! - and if i felt more up to it, i like to think i would of about turned and said hi to a few of them.

Secondly - i made a breakthrough with my AE (Approach Excitement).
How i did it was this:
I went to House of Fraser, (shop) and picked out the first 5+ girl i could see, and i merely asked where the men's clothes department was, she directed, smiled at each other and i left.
- a completely innocent question with no intention of pulling her.

Funnily enough, i had no problem saying hello to her, speaking to her, smiling or asking questions. Why? - because i didnt have it on my mind that i was interesting in her or getting her number.

- i remembered that feeling - or the lack of it i should say. The next girl that made eye contact with me and smiled, i walked back after, stopped her and pretended to myself that i was just asking directions,
i said: "hi, my names XXX, i saw you walking by and i thought you looked really nice walking by, i had to come back and say hi, and find out your name.
we talked back and forth for a bit, and well i didnt get her number.. she said she had a boyfriend and walked off.

HOWEVER! - i still walked away jumping with glee. i managed to stop, say hello, smile and talk to a random 7(ish) girl, without stuttering, sweating or bailing.
- great success (say it in the Borat tone for me)

- so now i need to find where my weakness/turn-off is when talking to a girl, and work on that.
-and continue to practice approaching of course, this may of been a fluke!

Regards to all,

Boyo


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 3:53 pm 
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I hope you get better from that flu fast :) It's a great thing you opened and that you look at it as really a learning experience. This positive attitude will save you much time and trouble during your progress if you can keep it. Other than that, who knows... the girl could really have a boyfriend. Keep up the great work my friend.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:03 pm 
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13th June 12'

I hit a rock bottom today.. banter at work + stupid mistakes got on top of me. I felt mega down, however, im patting myself on the back because i refused to let myself dwell and be depressed. Normally when i get into that frame of mind im like that for the rest of the day. Instead i talked and forced myself out of it. Went for a run. Positive thoughts, all that jazz.

It worked, im writing to you happy rather than sad. Well done me, small steps :lol:

- I also come to inform you ive started the 10 day positivity challenge - i failed today, so back to day one haha! Note: if i manage 10 days, i will keep going with it and set myself records. Ill attempt to continuously repeat it until i dont notice doing it anymore kind of thing..

Lastly: my head has exploded reading this forum. Everything is just so...simple?
Don't get me wrong, certainly not easy and requires practice. But simple things like the anti-manifesto, the shock and awe technique, the apocolypse opener.. etc..

Generalising it, its just bunch of confidence, massive balls and tons of kino.

As it said.. the fact it blows my mind clearly shows im not prepared for it, or comprehend it even working. As Chief says, Information overload with hinder your progress!

So for my updated objectives!
(green = completed)
-carry out the newbie task
-continuously work on inner game until i am totally confident with myself. No subconscious counter thoughts etc.
-Complete Chief's guide to outer game
-Practice opening, the compliance ladder and conversation
-Familiarise myself with my AE (Approach Excitement) - have no fear approaching super hot women .
-Learn what to say to them once youve said hi (easily my weakest part!)
-write list of what i look for in a women (conversation usage)
Get good at day time game (will expand when i get to it)
-Get good at night time game
-Learn to dance..
- Reach Top 20 in a Triathlon race (-keen runner/swimmer/cyclist! - keeps me toned and fit - but not massive - im 6"4 already!)


Finally My list of what i look for in a women and what to use when talking to one! (for now)
* Great sense of humor (ie my sense of humor haha!)
* Sporty/adventerous (a big biggie)
* Energetic/lively
*Intelligant/ambitious (but not too ambitious - they're hard to settle down with)
* Down to earth - doesnt hold women grudges etc.
*Likes Music
*like gadgets and technology (a big ask and one that i dont expect to get often)
*Good looks (DOnt get me wrong i need to find her beautiful. But not expecting a 10 per say)
* Doesn't obsess over money and clothes
*relative high sex drive and experimental :P
*Has at least one passion and drive for something

-Not a bad list I would say.

Until next time,

Boyo out!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:33 pm 
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Hey mate, nice work you did there. Some thoughts I had(not saying this is golden, just some things I had in my mind when I read this)
Quote:
Lastly: my head has exploded reading this forum. Everything is just so...simple?
Don't get me wrong, certainly not easy and requires practice. But simple things like the anti-manifesto, the shock and awe technique, the apocolypse opener.. etc..
Actually, it's almost like that. Not easy, but basically simple. As you will have a lot of experience, you will feel a curve. Things seem simple now, then as you encounter more and more sets, you will find that there are tons of complicated women with all kinds of issues. On some of them the things you know about game, will SEEM completely ineffectve, and that can be very confusing in the beginning. But, on the bright side, as you learn even more, you will eventually find how to deal with them, and things will seem more or less simple again. To an extent of course...
Quote:
Generalising it, its just bunch of confidence, massive balls and tons of kino.
Almost. You also need to exclude Arrogance from your confidence. It can be a massive trouble, and takes some time to calibrate for some people what is considered confident, and what is too much.
Quote:
As Chief says, Information overload with hinder your progress!
That's very true. When I started I read MM, The Game, Attraction Code, Double your Dating, watched RSD seminars, the PUA, Keys to the VIP and read the Sex God Method. It truly fucked me up. I couldn't put the pieces together because I didn't have it sorted out. Reading is important, but you need to find a good balance between reading, and going out, and going out is definitely a winner on the scale.
Quote:

*write list of what i look for in a women (conversation usage) *

Finally My list of what i look for in a women and what to use when talking to one! (for now)
* Great sense of humor (ie my sense of humor haha!)
* Sporty/adventerous (a big biggie)
* Energetic/lively
*Intelligant/ambitious (but not too ambitious - they're hard to settle down with)
* Down to earth - doesnt hold women grudges etc.
*Likes Music
*like gadgets and technology (a big ask and one that i dont expect to get often)
*Good looks (DOnt get me wrong i need to find her beautiful. But not expecting a 10 per say)
* Doesn't obsess over money and clothes
*relative high sex drive and experimental
*Has at least one passion and drive for something
Your list is good, but it's important to not only know, and talk about, but be sure and consistent about this list. Probably the most minor useage of this list is being a conversation material. It demonstrates that you're a man who knows what he's looking for, and if you keep yourself to the list you probably won't get into so many sucky relationships(of course... some will still come, but definitely less)

Final thoughts. As you're done with the newbie mission, I think you should really start engaging women in real conversation. This part of your learning is probably the fastest, and it will show itself in results(# closes mostly) quite fast. When you do your game, the most important thing in this learning procedure, is to ALWAYS try to close. No matter how bad you think you did but don't get out of the set before trying to close it. In the beginning this is very important, because this is the way you learn calibration.

Keep up the good work, you still have a long road ahead(but I guarantee that if you keep this positive attitude(which sometimes can be hard) it will be fun and encouraging too!

_________________
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Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:44 pm 
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Thanks In$inct, its nice to know someone is reading,

Agreed mate, next time i can ill start opening talking and closing as much as possible. -Try to apply what ive read.

To add to my previous post...On the subject of inner game, i think putting on a false coat of confidence i can do.. however, true confidence and respect for myself? - if a girl shit tests me, i think i would break.

Thus my main priority right now is work on myself - truly accept myself for who i am. Love thyself, and show the women im the man she wants. Because i am PERFECT the way i am.

Its. easily the most important and most improvement needed for myself.
So i need some advise.. - At work today, me and some mates were bantering..and i basically broke.. the banter accumilated and got to much, i got into a downward spiral, got depress and devalued myself.
I need to find the route to the source, . why couldn't i handle the banter..i should of just shrugged it off. Lets dig deep..

-thinking about it, without telling you the full story, you wont make much sense of my thoughts. So instead i found some key points in myself that might triggered the event.

-How can i learn/practice a better "poker face" - when something does annoy me, how not to show it?
-I do take things quite personal. - What can i do to ignore/laugh off banter and insults?
-I have a very high threshold for taking a lot of banter. - a good and bad thing perhaps. - should i lower my threshold so the people bantering don't gain momentum?
-When its a losing battle with yourself and find getting really annoyed or upset and the banter starts getting to you, what do to? walk away? tell them im getting annoyed?/thats enough? or fire a load of banter back and take the heat off yourself?
-When youve lost the battle, and you sit there stewing getting yourself down - what can i do to get out of this vicious cycle, how to break it and rebuild confidence?

I think guys, this is one of my greater personal weaknesses and the main thing that stops me from building my confidence. When i reach that downward spiral, i just tell myself im worthless etc..
If i can break this, then it should easy sailing

- thats all for now,

Cheers,

Boyo


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:49 pm 
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Quote:
To add to my previous post...On the subject of inner game, i think putting on a false coat of confidence i can do.. however, true confidence and respect for myself? - if a girl shit tests me, i think i would break.
If you're not sure about how to handle a shit test, just ignore it completely. Sometimes there are great opportunities to make use of a shit test and start building flirt from it, but if you're not sure, it's best to ignore. (how? just say "okay" or "sure" to it like you don't give a damn shit about it) It will come with time.

Quote:
-How can i learn/practice a better "poker face" - when something does annoy me, how not to show it?

That's something that takes practise. Tell yourself, convince yourself that this person who is mocking you, is only doing it because he/she is trying to build ego and this is just a way of hiding insecurities(which is generally true btw...)

-I do take things quite personal. - What can i do to ignore/laugh off banter and insults?

Banters and insults are different things. Banters are generally funny, and should be an indicator of a sense of humour. Just don't take them seriously. It's supposed to be a joke, so just laugh at it. Insults are generally offensive, if someone is insulting you, you don't need his/her company. Each time someone is telling you something that is bothering, reconsider why he/she said that. Was this supposed to offensive, or is it just you feeling it that way?

-I have a very high threshold for taking a lot of banter. - a good and bad thing perhaps. - should i lower my threshold so the people bantering don't gain momentum?

I don't think this is too relevant. When my cap is hit, I just leave, till then there is literally nothing bad about it.

-When its a losing battle with yourself and find getting really annoyed or upset and the banter starts getting to you, what do to? walk away? tell them im getting annoyed?/thats enough? or fire a load of banter back and take the heat off yourself?

You can shoot back if you're able, but I've found the best policy is really just to ignore it completely. Jerks have been inhabiting this planet since the dawn of human race, it is not worth it getting upset about this, and fighting them is literally impossible, since they will never admit(even to themselves) that they lost, and will become even more annoying later on

-When youve lost the battle, and you sit there stewing getting yourself down - what can i do to get out of this vicious cycle, how to break it and rebuild confidence?

Just don't blame yourself. And focus on anything else. Whenever negative thoughts infiltrate your mind, it's best to do something to keep yourself occupied. If it's something productive (cooking, training, playing an instrument) it is even better, because these things will generally make you feel better about yourself
Hope I helped a bit. Be patient, forming your personality is really something that takes time.

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Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct


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 Post subject: Re: Boyo's Journal
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 2:50 am 
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1. Go back to your goals and focus more:

You're like a caged animal that's recently been freed; you're running in every which direction.
Quote:
-Ultimately...to find "the one" - the only way im going to do that is get out there and learn how to pull! - and have fun in the process :P
Quote:
- Reach Top 20 in a Triathlon race (-keen runner/swimmer/cyclist! - keeps me toned and fit - but not massive - im 6"4 already!)
^You have two goals. The rest that you wrote: "Get good at day game," "Get good at night game," are all skill sets you need to figure out in order to reach your first goal. Even the most precise plans can end in chaos so it's best to start off as well organized as possible.

2. Streamline the skill sets you need to learn:

There's no reason to make this more complicated than it needs to be. Do you go out at night a lot? Do you hang out during the day often? What's the difference any ways? This is pick up, not a new gig at an engineering firm. Regardless of who and when, you're going to have to "open" chicks up. . . there's some conversation in between. . . then you'll want to schedule a time to meet up again. All the things you need to learn, you've probably already been doing with your girlfriend for three years. What did you tell her when you wanted to see her at another time? What did you tell her when you wanted to interest her in a movie or restaurant? It's that simple. Don't waste your time in the PU library. Get a few ideas, make them your own, and get out there.

3. The banter:

I haven't been 23 for a long time so refresh my memory. What is it that you guys do? Do you freestyle the Hippity Hoppity Rappity Dope to one another and make each other upset? Do you tell each other "yo momma" jokes? If you know where it's headed, why even start?
Quote:
I have a very high threshold for taking a lot of banter.
No, you just hold it in until you explode. Let me ask you. . . Do you ever get pissed off at things that are absolutely not true? You're 6'4. What if I told you, "Dude, you're a short little midget buddy! Ha ha ha! You better wear your high heels when you go doggy with your chick! You got ID? People might think you're 12 years old with your SHORT height!" (By the way, I'm 5'5 and practically need high heels to go doggy style)

^Are your feelings hurt?

It's usually things that are MUCH CLOSER to reality that hurt the most. And these things tend to hurt because we are unwilling to accept our own reality. Those guys aren't making you angry. . .you're already angry with yourself. All they do is open your 'anger lid'. And you're afraid of exposing yourself so this is what you think of as a 'threshold'. You just hold the lid as tightly as you can . . . until you can't.

This might make sense to you and you might nod your head up and down but logically understanding this situation is far different from "living it". PM me if you have specific thoughts that you'd like to discuss. Other than that, you've got to accept yourself and accept your situation. It's never all that great. It's never all that bad.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:08 pm 
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15th June '12

Afternoon all, just come to give an update: ive made some personal progress too. Indeed it is going to take a lot of time and effort. Well worth it in the end undoubtedly.

Also: me and a mate was walking along a high street, and he says hello to one of his female friends, she too has a mate with her, they both start talking. With what i learned so far, i gave a confident posture, a good smile, made eye contact and let her break first. I didnt find the opportunity to say hello and ask her name however. I think if i had more confidence i could of done it, but i was afraid my mate and the girl he was talking would stop and lisen in to me talking to her..if that would of happened i would of froze under the pressure and probably embarrassment too.

So anyway their conversation came to a close and in determination to at least say something, i blurted: "good choice of shoes" - as we were both wearing converse.. she laughed a little and smiled. We went our separate ways.

Learning from this..its clear i need more confidence, less care on what others think, and no fear on what will happen if i do something. Fearing things MIGHT happen is negative thinking, counter productive. i got to stop doing it or i wont get anywhere.

- Yesterday was the past, Tomorrow is the future, but today is a gift.. that is why it is called the present..

Lastly, thanks to Kasabi's advise, Im have a new improved and much more structured Objectives, which i have edited at top post rather than spam every time.

Best Regards to all!

Boyo

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:41 pm 
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I ran out of editing time at top post so this will be it for now!:
So for my updated objectives! Updated: 15th June '12
(green = completed)
-carry out the newbie task

-Get out to practice more. Go to the nearby shopping centre at least 2 time a week
- must achieve 10 weeks in a row to pass. Set at: 15th June '12.
Currently: 1 week

(i know its a low amount however its a realistic and achievable goal.)

- i fear of going by myself. Isnt that weird/creepy?. How do i overcome this?

-Go out night out at least once a weekend - must achieve 10 weeks in a row to pass. Set at: 15th June '12
Currently : 0

-Continuously work oninner game until i am totally confident with myself. No subconscious counter thoughts etc.
expanding on this:
1:10 day positive thinking challenge - upped the anti to 20 days + setting record. Set at: 13th June '12. Currently : 2 days. Record: N/A

2:Focus on the present.. not what might happen, or what they might think. When i do that the thought is purely the current frame of mind, - or usually bad and creates fear. I need to focus on just what im going to say, rehearse maybe once or twice and go for it.

3:Care less to what people think and say about me. I am what i am, is their problem if they have a problem about me.

4:Dont react or think twice to banter - laugh with people. I want achieve this 20 times in a row. If i bite at all, it resets. No of times: 1

5:Find out within me why i take things so personal. Why i fear and hate mistakes..

-Complete Chief's guide to outer game
Expanding on this:
1:Familiarise myself with my AE (Approach Excitement) - have no fear approaching super hot women .

2:Carry out opening, the compliance ladder and conversation without thought or hesitation.
-write list of what i look for in a women (conversation usage)

3: Understand, apply Sexual SFT without thought or hesitation.

4: Understand, apply Sexual Tension without thought or hesitation.

5: Find and manage my expectations

-Once im familiar and completed with Chiefs Outer game, focus and hone my skills, work towards more ballsy approaches such as shock and awe etc.. get more lays.
-will expand when i get to it.

-Get good a night game:
1:learn and apply The skills method to club game
2:Learn to dance..

- Reach Top 20 in a Triathlon race (-keen runner/swimmer/cyclist! - keeps me dtoned and fit - but not massive - im 6"4 already!) - Wont waste your time or space writing my program on here, if you want to know more PM me.
-Complete my home Half Marathon in time of 1hr 39min

Phew! Any further suggestions, criticism, please post!

Regards,

Boyo

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:58 pm 
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16th June 00:51.

AAAAAGGGGHHHH!! Fucking moron! the opportunity was there! I couldnt do it..
Went out with the lads down the locals, having a good time.. towards the end of the night, 4 girls were dancing by themselfs, one was easily a HB7. I thought she was hot, but i didnt quite want her.. i wasnt really horney, i was a little drunk, i thought about approaching her and using the apocalypse opener of "hi, what you doing tonight, want to head back to mine" etc.. (there wasn't opportunity for chatting up)
-I thought about it and thought about it.. but i didnt have the courage to do it. Something stopped me. like a wall..

I guess i didnt want it enough. like they say.. the wall is there to keep out those who dont want it enough to break through it.

The annoying thing though is.. i got the eye contact and body language spot on, she broke first (after a unusually long period), we looked again, we connected again and she waved with a smile. -that said to me "hi come talk to me!"

but i just didnt have the courage.. Im SO pissed off.

So.. for the future.. i need to learn to motivate myself more when i see an opertunity, make myself more turned on
- generally following the "Getting laid easily + getting lots of experience quickly!" post.

P.S my 10 day challenge is now at 0 again :cry:

Your sincerely pissed,

Boyo..

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:21 am 
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Hi Boyo,

Just read your thread and it's a good start! (thanks for the props btw I know I haven't achieved much but it means a lot. )I like how you're being more specific with your goals now. I think what you have is a tendency to quickly punish yourself... And it's probably irrational.

I mean... Please... You say you have hardly gamed anyone and you want to land the apocalypse opener without any prep work? Any warm up sets? No nothing? And you're pissed with yourself because you couldn't tell her to come home with you?

Do you realise how irrational this sounds? I know because the same irrationality goes on with me. It took some time to realise this and Kasabi kindly pointed it out in his unique way, only he knows best.

Same here. Just realise you need practice... You need to continually make those compliments during the day. Speak to those girls you pass in the street. Open those sets.

Forget the Apocalypse Opener for the time being. It's like trying to climb mount Everest without the proper training. Just get opening, and get good at it.

If you fail tonight, or today. Accept those feelings of annoyance but understand it's only temporary. Tomorrow is a new day and you will make up for your lack of action tonight. Look forward to it and learn to quickly disassociate negative feelings and replace them with positive ones.

Good luck in your journal and remember we're all continuing Work in Progresses. Taking action is the first step to realising this... A lot of people just blindly wander through life not even accepting they need to change to make a difference in their life. Well done you have acknowledged the first step.

It's full of ups and downs. But I'm sure it's worth it in the end.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 5:27 pm 
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Hi tweeby, thanks for visiting,

Yea your right bud, i was pretty drunk last night so emotions are always high!

Yea, thats one of my personal flaws i need to work on, i hate making mistakes and i punish myself too harshly too quickly. I am making progress however, i used to be much worst. Last night after writing that, i told myself to back off, take it as a learning curve and let it go. And i did. Normally i dwell for hours.

Again, your right.. going straight off the bat with the apocalypse opener would of been a work of genius if i pulled it off, and wouldn't need to write my journal in the first place.

I guess i was just annoyed i missed a perfect opportunity for a good shag. i wished i had the skill set there and then to use it.

But this did give me a lot to learn about myself, it showed i feared a lot on what will happen and the excuses i make to myself. Now im well aware of this, next time i approach i know ill try convince myself out, i can anticipate and react to this.

Thanks for reading and keep in touch,

Regards,

Boyo

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:31 am 
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Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:49 pm
Posts: 148
Location: England
17th June '12, 0327 UK TIME

HOLY. SH1T!. HOLY F*CKING SH1T! ahahahaha! ok boys, i apologies for starters, i am f*cked out of my face. Im using this time to drink some water and sober a little before bed, or my hangover will be horrendous.

Tonight was a HUGE success. i managed to close 3 kissed, and 2 number, out of 3 girls. I have some birds makeup on my nose from tonguing her so much.
2 of them i tried taking back to theirs..but they had reasons why they couldnt. whether they were genuin excuses i dont know.

But fuck it.. I walked up to girls who connected with me via these eyes. i danced, i let them lead and pretty much copied their dancing, i moved in.. move away, let them come to me. and the two closed kisses, came to ME first! i didnt go for them! INSANE!

I hope i remember some of this in the morning.. because this is the kind of success i really need.

So.. cheers all,

Cya with a hangover,

Boyo

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My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html


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