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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 8:39 pm 
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UPDATE

Started eating healthier by cutting out mostly bread from my diet. I've also quit smoking and minimized drinking.

Hooked up with a girl a week ago that I seem to really like and we've sort of started seeing each other now.

The mother of my child has blocked all communication with me, including Facebook and SPAM, so I can only wait and see if she will try to contact me when the baby is born in august/september.

Not much else going on really and I'm not sure what exactly to write here. If there is anything specific anybody wants to hear about, I will focus on that specific area and write down my results. Otherwise, I'll just keep guessing and writing random blog stuff until something interesting occurs.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:49 am 
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Everything that we do . . . we do it because we can.

Not sure where you are currently residing but if you have any friends who practice law there, I'd ask for some advice from them. Think of all the consequences . . .


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 11:20 pm 
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Everything that we do . . . we do it because we can.

Not sure where you are currently residing but if you have any friends who practice law there, I'd ask for some advice from them. Think of all the consequences . . .
I've asked around about these kinds of situations and come to the following conclusions:

- She can't really even sign me as the child's father until I do a DNA test. The question is if I will ever even do it considering that she wants no contact with me.

- Even if I do get a DNA test and it's proven that I am the father - I'm not forced to pay alimony unless I got a stable job and income, which I will not have for another few years considering that 'working as a director' doesn't really count as having a stable job.

- If everything above goes to hell (I am the father + have to pay alimony), I can give the mother full custody, not having to pay alimony - but therefore she can reject me from letting me see the child.

Not sure if the above things are 100 % accurate though until I actually ask a working lawyer about them. But they just seem to make sense right now.

What do you mean by 'everything that we do, we do because we can'? I didn't do this on purpose if that's what you meant.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 7:53 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Everything that we do . . . we do it because we can.

Not sure where you are currently residing but if you have any friends who practice law there, I'd ask for some advice from them. Think of all the consequences . . .
I've asked around about these kinds of situations and come to the following conclusions:

- She can't really even sign me as the child's father until I do a DNA test. The question is if I will ever even do it considering that she wants no contact with me.

- Even if I do get a DNA test and it's proven that I am the father - I'm not forced to pay alimony unless I got a stable job and income, which I will not have for another few years considering that 'working as a director' doesn't really count as having a stable job.

- If everything above goes to hell (I am the father + have to pay alimony), I can give the mother full custody, not having to pay alimony - but therefore she can reject me from letting me see the child.

Not sure if the above things are 100 % accurate though until I actually ask a working lawyer about them. But they just seem to make sense right now.

What do you mean by 'everything that we do, we do because we can'? I didn't do this on purpose if that's what you meant.

Just want to bring the point, since i do legal work and have attorneys that work for me, that if you do not pay child support (talking about USA), and you do not pay for 1-18 or whatever years, you have to pay all those years that you did not pay, so i have clients that did not know they had a kid now owe the mother lets say 50k and you can not do bankruptcy with child support cases...

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:59 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Everything that we do . . . we do it because we can.

Not sure where you are currently residing but if you have any friends who practice law there, I'd ask for some advice from them. Think of all the consequences . . .
I've asked around about these kinds of situations and come to the following conclusions:

- She can't really even sign me as the child's father until I do a DNA test. The question is if I will ever even do it considering that she wants no contact with me.

- Even if I do get a DNA test and it's proven that I am the father - I'm not forced to pay alimony unless I got a stable job and income, which I will not have for another few years considering that 'working as a director' doesn't really count as having a stable job.

- If everything above goes to hell (I am the father + have to pay alimony), I can give the mother full custody, not having to pay alimony - but therefore she can reject me from letting me see the child.

Not sure if the above things are 100 % accurate though until I actually ask a working lawyer about them. But they just seem to make sense right now.

What do you mean by 'everything that we do, we do because we can'? I didn't do this on purpose if that's what you meant.

Just want to bring the point, since i do legal work and have attorneys that work for me, that if you do not pay child support (talking about USA), and you do not pay for 1-18 or whatever years, you have to pay all those years that you did not pay, so i have clients that did not know they had a kid now owe the mother lets say 50k and you can not do bankruptcy with child support cases...
But this only applies if there is evidence that I am the father, right? Otherwise it could be anybody's child.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:55 pm 
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Crazy dictators aren't particularly more evil than say, Obama . . . they just kill, rape, and maim for profit because 'they can'.

This girl saying this or that. . . let it go in one ear and out the other. This doesn't mean start up a fight or go along with everything. It just means what she says has NOTHING to do with what she will eventually do. If given 'permission' to do things and especially if given the 'legal rights' to do things, she will do it. Millionaire women go after their ex's for chump change, not because they are particularly spiteful or vengeful but because they can. If they had to do A LOT of work to do all of these things, they'd just let it go, choosing instead to enjoy another day downing a pina colada and hanging out at the pool but full service lawyers do everything for them... it's too easy.

She is saying 'this or that' now just to convince herself that she's a 'good person'. But those around her will eventually convince her that in order to provide for her kid and be a 'good mother', that she needs as much resources as she can get. That's when the long lost daddy from 7 years ago comes into the picture. No reason to go get yourself a lawyer now but it's a good idea to study up on legal consequences of potential scenarios.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:17 am 
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@ the panda man

Yes it is called paternity test, dude you want to find out if is your kid or not asap, and if it is either give the rights away, or whatever... I just don't trust women like this, she sounds like drama, been there done that.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:36 am 
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Quote:
@ the panda man

Yes it is called paternity test, dude you want to find out if is your kid or not asap, and if it is either give the rights away, or whatever... I just don't trust women like this, she sounds like drama, been there done that.
I mean, she threatened earlier to never let me find out if I am the father.

. . . And then she cut all possible contact with me.

Sure, I would really like to know whether or not I am the father, but I can't tell if I will be granted the possibility. . . I guess only time will tell.

I will speak to an attorney here about this and see what my best options are.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:26 pm 
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Don't "buy" a lawyer now. Just do some research regarding local laws and if you have a friend who is a lawyer, listen to his advice. It's not a huge deal currently but it can be one. . .


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:41 pm 
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Don't "buy" a lawyer now. Just do some research regarding local laws and if you have a friend who is a lawyer, listen to his advice. It's not a huge deal currently but it can be one. . .

^ that! do some basic search, online, or in your local court website... Or free legal aid places...You can even call lawyers and pick their brains or go to free consultations... No need to pay..

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:10 pm 
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My friend's cousin is a lawyer, so I will ask him a couple of questions regarding this situation. But no, I won't pay for anything as of yet.

If I don't get prepared, however, things can turn sour - considering that this woman is completely unstable generally speaking and makes radical decisions based on her instincts. So she will say and do one thing, but if someone pisses her off, she will completely change her mind just to get back at that person.

Rational thinking is not part of her belief system and she has said so herself.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 1:01 pm 
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I have just spoken to an attorney, and things don't look so bright.

Basically:

* She can force me to take a DNA test
* She can force me to pay alimony, no matter the circumstances. Unless I'm unemployed.

However:

* She cannot refuse me the option to see my child whenever I want.

If she plays the alimony card at any point, I will be living on the streets. This is horrible news. I cannot avoid alimony payments unless she doesn't want them.

And sure, she says she doesn't want me to pay anything. But with an unstable mind like hers, it's enough for me to piss her off a little bit for her to change her mind.

Also, she doesn't have a stable economical plan. She travels and couch surfs (even now while she's pregnant) and doesn't like doing jobs that require a lot of planning and organization (wtf?).

So if she doesn't have enough money to support her child because of her stubborn mentality that organizing and planning is not the way to live life - she will do the next best thing and demand alimony from me while she continues her travels and sits on her ass all day barely doing any hard labor work.

I seem to be fucked either way.

But who knows. Maybe she'll literally never contact me again. I could be safe. But that's just my current prediction.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:31 pm 
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Quote:
I have just spoken to an attorney, and things don't look so bright.

Basically:

* She can force me to take a DNA test
* She can force me to pay alimony, no matter the circumstances. Unless I'm unemployed.

However:

* She cannot refuse me the option to see my child whenever I want.

If she plays the alimony card at any point, I will be living on the streets. This is horrible news. I cannot avoid alimony payments unless she doesn't want them.

And sure, she says she doesn't want me to pay anything. But with an unstable mind like hers, it's enough for me to piss her off a little bit for her to change her mind.

Also, she doesn't have a stable economical plan. She travels and couch surfs (even now while she's pregnant) and doesn't like doing jobs that require a lot of planning and organization (wtf?).

So if she doesn't have enough money to support her child because of her stubborn mentality that organizing and planning is not the way to live life - she will do the next best thing and demand alimony from me while she continues her travels and sits on her ass all day barely doing any hard labor work.

I seem to be fucked either way.

But who knows. Maybe she'll literally never contact me again. I could be safe. But that's just my current prediction.

You are not fucked is not the end of the world, it has to be your kid, and she needs to prove it... Second, you should have found out if you can give your rights away(if yes you should do it now). Also there is the adoption card(unlikely). Once she has a kid she may be more of a hustler and change her ways, and grow up in 2 seconds, cause most times women priority becomes the kid.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:34 pm 
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UPDATE

Alright so the whole baby thing is on hold now since there is nothing to talk about until it's actually born.

However. . . I have reconnected with my oneitis.

I accidentally met her a week ago in a bar. To remind those who do not know: I broke up with her a few months ago because she had told me she was in love with another man and wanted to be with him (but also wanted to keep me?) and I could not accept that. So I walked away, but she continuously tried getting my attention and go out with me. I ignored it all and she eventually gave up.

But back to the story:

So I met her at the bar and had a drink with her last week. We sat down and she asked me how my love life as, to which I replied that I had a girlfriend but was on the verge of breaking up with her. I then asked her the same question back and she replied it didn't work out with the guy she loved. I then asked if she had ANYONE else in her life, to which she replied 'no'.

We spent a few hours at the bar, we danced and then we left. I walked her home and said good night.

The day after, I broke up with the girl I was seeing and then met up with my oneitis at another bar. She immediately asked me if I had broken up with the girl and I said yes.

The night was a little stale and we didn't really connect as we used to in the early days. I went home earlier and she stayed with some other of my friends.

A few days later I asked her out on a big date (last night) and she gladly accepted. We went out, had dinner, went to a bar afterwards for some drinks and ended up at my place watching some TV shows. We talked about all sorts of things, but she kept mentioning one guy in particular for some of the stories (I don't know who the guy is, but I can't figure out if he is a guy she is SEEING or just a friend?) - and she also mentioned her ex for a couple of those stories. No big deal.

As we are laying on the couch, she was caressing my head while I had it on her lap. We then switched positions and I started caressing her arms. She didn't really reciprocate much after this point. She then got an emergency call from her sister around 12 at night and had to leave.

That's it.

I don't know what to make of the situation though. Maybe I had too much high expectations of how the night SHOULD have ended up? Maybe it's perfectly normal that a first date ends this way, after breaking up with her and not speaking to her for several months?

I keep thinking about how tings COULD have ended up but I can't figure out anything constructive.

Open to advice!

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:02 pm 
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Quote:
UPDATE

Alright so the whole baby thing is on hold now since there is nothing to talk about until it's actually born.

However. . . I have reconnected with my oneitis.

I accidentally met her a week ago in a bar. To remind those who do not know: I broke up with her a few months ago because she had told me she was in love with another man and wanted to be with him (but also wanted to keep me?) and I could not accept that. So I walked away, but she continuously tried getting my attention and go out with me. I ignored it all and she eventually gave up.

But back to the story:

So I met her at the bar and had a drink with her last week. We sat down and she asked me how my love life as, to which I replied that I had a girlfriend but was on the verge of breaking up with her. I then asked her the same question back and she replied it didn't work out with the guy she loved. I then asked if she had ANYONE else in her life, to which she replied 'no'.

We spent a few hours at the bar, we danced and then we left. I walked her home and said good night.

The day after, I broke up with the girl I was seeing and then met up with my oneitis at another bar. She immediately asked me if I had broken up with the girl and I said yes.

The night was a little stale and we didn't really connect as we used to in the early days. I went home earlier and she stayed with some other of my friends.

A few days later I asked her out on a big date (last night) and she gladly accepted. We went out, had dinner, went to a bar afterwards for some drinks and ended up at my place watching some TV shows. We talked about all sorts of things, but she kept mentioning one guy in particular for some of the stories (I don't know who the guy is, but I can't figure out if he is a guy she is SEEING or just a friend?) - and she also mentioned her ex for a couple of those stories. No big deal.

As we are laying on the couch, she was caressing my head while I had it on her lap. We then switched positions and I started caressing her arms. She didn't really reciprocate much after this point. She then got an emergency call from her sister around 12 at night and had to leave.

That's it.

I don't know what to make of the situation though. Maybe I had too much high expectations of how the night SHOULD have ended up? Maybe it's perfectly normal that a first date ends this way, after breaking up with her and not speaking to her for several months?

I keep thinking about how tings COULD have ended up but I can't figure out anything constructive.

Open to advice!

Dates, lack of escalations,lack of polarization, hours on a date, broke up with your gf, no sex... Falling fast into "friendzone"... I hope i am wrong... All i read was typical nice guy behavior...

http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php? ... CONNECTION

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